Unwanted or Improper
by ImmortalFlick
Summary: Slash. SSHP. Snape believes some things are just immoral. Yes, Snape has morals.
1. Chapter 1

Unwanted or Improper

ImmortalFlick

Warnings: Slash. SS/HP (Severus Snape/Harry Potter), if that bothers you, leave now. Don't say I didn't warn you and don't flame me. Probably an overdone idea, don't really know.

Summary: Some things Snape finds immoral. And Snape has morals.

Spoilers: OoTP NEVER HAPPENED. Sirius is alive. Hallelujah. Just so you all know.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine! Not mine.

A/N: I promise you it gets better. Or at least I think it does.

Chapter 1

Molestation - the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity (especially women or children)

"Albus! He is my student!"

"He is of age, Severus."

"Sixteen is hardly appropriate. Not to mention it would be immoral, if you hadn't noticed, I am more than twice his age!"

The old man was still calm. He had faced Snape's temper before and could weather it again if he had to. "In this situation, age cannot not matter. There is nothing that can be done for it."

"I am his professor!" Snape repeated.

"We have no rules against student-teacher relationships."

"Yes, you appear to encourage them." Snape snapped bitterly. This behaviour was typical of Albus, bending or even breaking the rules when it came to his own agenda.

"That will be enough of that, Severus!" The Headmaster's patience was gone. "You will comply because you have to. That is how it works, that is how it has always work."

"I will not comply with rules made hundreds of years ago, they're not only archaic, they're obsolete!"

"You will. Because you will have to. I believe the rules make no exceptions."

"Harry Potter is the most famous wizard in the world, he is still in school. I have no right to monopolize him."

"You wouldn't be. The bond goes both ways, Severus, you know that." The old man was calm again. The Potions Master felt like strangling him. Every reasonable argument he put forward 

was rebuffed in a singular fashion. It made him want to take that twinkle in Albus' eye and garrotte it.

"Precisely, he would have just as much control over me as I would him! He is a teenager, who knows what a child could do with that kind of control!" Snape loathed being the worked up one. It was akin to arguing with a brick wall. A particularly stubborn brick wall that always got its way. But he would continue to argue. A soulmate bond was one thing, a relationship with a child was quite another. Snape had standards, he conducted himself with a certain dignity. This absolute madness Albus was suggesting was indefensible.

"Harry has shown more than enough control and restraint. And he's hardly a child, Severus." Dumbledore's voice was reproaching.

"His status as the Boy-Who-Lived fails to change the fact that he is just sixteen."

"Why do you continue to return to that point? Is it that you dislike the fact that you find the boy attractive?" The man was prodding now, forcing a reaction from Snape because he knew he would get one.

"This is hardly appropriate, Albus." Severus protested.

"Oh, I believe it is more than appropriate. Do you, or do you not, find the young man attractive?"

"That is a personal question." If he had to be stubborn he would. He refused to move on the matter and that was that.

The headmaster sighed. "So be it. When you find the answer to that question I would very much like to know. In the meantime, are you going to comply or not?"

"I will not."

"Don't argue with me, you have no choice."

"As long as I am still standing, I have a choice."

"You will not take those measures, I will not allow you to kill an innocent, even indirectly."

"He would hardly die, Albus." He scoffed. The whole situation was laughable actually. From the moment he had woken up this morning to that very second, his day had been completely ridiculous.

"If you consciously refuse to acknowledge this, he will suffer, that is the way it works."

Severus paled. "You're putting me in a very difficult situation." Either way he would compromise his morals and the thought made him feel slightly ill.

"Because I have to. That is the way it must be." He continued to repeat that, removing himself from fault the way Albus was wont to do.

"Don't try to turn this around. You are fully to blame for this."

The Headmaster shook his head. "It would have been the same had I not told you. There is no blame."

"Don't turn yourself into the victim, Albus, just don't" He felt like pleading, this was just too much.

"There are no victims, this will turn out for the best."

"Don't make me do this." He hadn't begged in a long time and it made him feel very weak to hear his voice asking for something so desperately.

"Expect him in your quarters tomorrow." The Headmaster's voice was very final.

"Don't do this."

"You are dismissed."

Severus backed away slowly, slightly shaky. "I trusted you."

"I haven't betrayed any trust."

His anger flared up at the statement. "Don't lie to my face, Albus."

"Goodbye, Severus."

Snape turned on his heel and his robes billowed around him as he walked out of the room. He would have run but his legs were too weak.

As he stepped out of the Gargoyle, Potter walked into him. The Potions Master took one look at him and fled, leaving a confused young man staring after him.

(-)

Where was the fire whiskey? Where was it? He slammed cupboard after cupboard closed searching for the bitter alcohol. Found it! The bottle of brown liquid was grabbed by a trembling hand. He would have no part in molesting a child. Unwanted or improper.

He shivered again. Even the thought of touching Potter that way made him sick. It was wrong, he was a child. Nothing could change that. Not even if he wanted to. He took another swig of the strong alcohol. It burned its way down his throat. He wondered how Potter was taking the news right now. Was he screaming? Shouting? Arguing with Dumbledore? Maybe he'd just plain passed out.

Then again, Snape had to think, he was sixteen, that was legal. But still immoral, he swiped at the thought, he was twice the child's age. There was the bond to consider though, once it was there no turning point could be established. That was something to think about. Killing himself was out of the question if it resulted in Harry Potter dead. Damn, there really wasn't much of a way out of this.

Dumbledore reckoned he was doing the right thing. The man was becoming senile if that's what he thought. A senile, old bastard with manipulative, deceptive thoughts and a very dirty mind. A very, very dirty mind. Because Har- Potter - was a very attractive young man. That much had become evident as time had passed. So, yes, to answer the old man's question. Yes, he did find Potter attractive. Who in their right mind wouldn't? And was that the reason why he continued saying it was child molestation. Maybe you could cut the child out of that. He was of age. But molestation still stayed. Unwanted or improper attention. Unwanted and improper. He was twice Potter's age! The boy's parents were probably rolling over in their graves!

Not to mention he hated him and the feeling was quite mutual. You could find someone handsome without liking them. He thought Potter was a brat with an inflated sense of self-importance and the trademark Gryffindor courage. Potter thought he was a slimy, greasy git with an incapability of being nice and who strangely resembled an overgrown bat. There you go, no possible room for any kind of bond there. None at all.

Shame it was there, and there it stayed. Because in an uncanny way Dumbledore was right. There were no exceptions to the bond, not age, not race, not blood, not hate. No bloody exceptions. Unwanted or improper. It was ironically appropriate that he knew the definition word for word. For a moment he wondered why.

Albus was right, in a way, he had to. As much as he didn't want to even think about Potter that way, he had to. Because the bond required it. And what the bond wanted, the bond got. That was the unavoidable consequence of this soulmate deal, you do or you die.

No, there wasn't much worth celebrating tonight. Potter wouldn't be celebrating. Albus wouldn't either. He knew Snape wouldn't be a willing participant. Although Severus also knew that Albus had plans for the two of them. Whether they involved the bastard who called himself a lord, who knew? In all likelihood, yes, they did.

Last year had gone fairly peacefully. No problems or attacks against the ministry or Hogwarts. Minor attacks, sure. But then, what fatal attacks are that minor? This year may not pass quite so peacefully as the last, in fact, it would pass with a lot of commotion and changes. That was the way it went. The way it was meant to be.

End Chapter 1

Chapter 2 will come soon. Harry's reaction and all that. Review please, no flames, right now I'm boiling to death. I swear, air conditioning would be a gift, a gift I don't have. I think I'm sweating, damn. Next door neighbours are having a party. They're so loud, I'm never going to get any sleep. They're playing music on full. It's past midnight! I'm posting this because I'm not getting any sleep. So I hope you appreciate it. Please give suggestions freely. No bad, mean, nasty ones, I hate those.


	2. Chapter 2

Unwanted or Improper Chapter 2

0-0

Sexual Harassment - The making of unwanted and offensive sexual advances or of sexually offensive remarks or acts, especially by one in a superior or supervisory position.

0-0

"What!?" Harry's voice echoed through out the room.

"I said, Harry, that the bond is unbreakable."

"He's Snape!"

"Professor Snape."

"Snape!"

"Professor Snape, Mr Potter."

"I hate him, he hates me."

"Hate is a very strong word."

"Hardly strong enough!" Harry was shouting at one of the people he respected the most.

"Please, Mr Potter, stick to the conversation."

Conversation! This wasn't a conversation! "Surely there must be a way to break the bond."

"Only if one of you dies will you both be free."

"Well then I'll kill him!"

"You will be free because you both will be dead." Dumbledore's gaze was hard.

"Oh." Harry was silent for a moment before coming up with another argument. "He's my professor!"

"We have no rules against student-teacher relationships, besides Harry, do you consider yourself a child?" There was no answer.

"He's old enough to be my father, plus he's a guy!"

"Harry, Harry, Harry." Dumbledore shook his head. "The bond does not care about age or gender."

"I do!"

"Do you really?" Once again his withering gaze was set on Harry.

"Yes! No! I don't know! Besides, I hate him and he hates me!"

Albus found himself in the exact same position as he had been with Severus. "Do you persist in bringing that up because you dislike the fact that you don't hate him at all?"

"That's ridiculous!"

"Answer the question, Harry."

"Would it even make a difference?"

"Please tell me when you've found the answer, I would very much like to know."

"He's a man!" Harry grasped at the last straw.

"Yes, Mr Potter, I assure you, I would not be so willing to encourage this bond if you and he were not in the same predicament regarding your orientation. In the meantime, tomorrow your possessions shall be moved to Professor Snape's chambers and you two will figure things out from there. Do I make myself clear?"

"But Sir!"

"Do I make myself clear?"

"Isn't this illegal?"

"No, I very much is not, Harry. Particularly not in this situation, in this situation it would be encouraged by the ministry."

"Not with him!"

"Please Harry, I have asked you twice, do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal clear." Harry muttered.

"You are dismissed."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Harry pleaded.

"I'm not doing anything to you, it will turn out for the best."

"I hate you, you know, I hate you."

"Hate is a very strong word, Mr Potter."

Harry turned and fled similarly to the Potions Master earlier that evening. His eyes burned with tears that he refused to shed.

0-0

He muttered the password to the Fat Lady then dragged himself through the portrait hole. Sometimes it just wasn't worth waking up in the morning. Not if the day was going to be like this. Bonded! He'd found his soulmate, why wasn't he excited? Because his soulmate was a bastard, that's why, Harry thought sullenly. A real, cold blooded bastard who hated him so much it was unimaginable.

Why did he always get stuck in these sorts of situations? Why him? Of course, he'd never wish the older man on anyone else. Maybe he could file sexual harassment if the dirty bastard touched him. After all, he was certainly unwilling and that kind of attention to a student was immoral. Not that Snape had morals. Sexual harassment had to be illegal in the wizarding world. But Dumbledore had said it wasn't going to be illegal. Why not? He had to go to the library and find out. There had to be a book on soulmates and all that somewhere, right?

0-0

The library would've been easier to search had Hermione been there, or if Harry had been willing to ask Madame Pince. But this was not something everyone could know, although they would when he was moving all his stuff out of the tower and into the dungeons. He couldn't exactly lie. Well, he could, but he wasn't very good at it. Eventually, under 'Marriage and Love' (Why would they have a specific section? Well, it suited him fine), he found a book called 'Soulmates- the meaning of being bonded.' Perfect.

He'd sat down in the back of the library, out of sight, to read the book.

_**Introduction**_

_Bonding is a process not many truly grasp. It is not common though it is not unheard of by many (pg 29). Soulmates are bonded in a way that is unbreakable unless the death of one half occurs. If that occurs then both bonded will die. Unfortunately this is inevitable, although the bonding has it's virtues. Those bonded will experience:  
Advanced life (pg 33)  
Increased healing (pg 95)  
Mental connection (pg 128)_

_**Page 128**_

_Mental Connection_

_Some of the most famous bonded couples died brutally by their lover's hand, driven insane by their connection to each other, this usually happened because of the close vicinity and complete strip of privacy. A bonded couple experiences a need to be close to one an other when the bond is initiated (pg 34). At first the couple will not understand the need unless they are consciously aware of the bond. Soon they will not only feel an urge but a burning desire to be in contact with them, usually hard to leash. The mental connection then allows feelings and pictures to be communicated. Take note, that there is no actual telepathy, there is a specific difference, words communicated through telepathic means is not the same as the mental connection the two bonded have._

_**Page 34**_

_Initiating the Bond_

_The bond is initiated when the younger of the pair turns sixteen. The feelings go unnoticed in the first few months of it's initiation as they are so weak. They grow stronger with every passing day once the introductory months have passed. Soon it will become harder and harder to ignore. To a strong, trained wizard the bond will be visible, although only to someone outside of the pair._

_**Page 29**_

_Soulmates are not Unheard of_

_Many are aware of the concept existing, although not all are aware that it is not actually a myth. For most bonds are not very well known as the pair are not in a public eye of any sort. Some may say it only occurs once a century or something equally basic. This is because famous couples are known, whereas anyone not of a 'royalty' status is not given historic relevance._

_**Page 33**_

_Advanced Life_

_The couple will live a life longer than any average witch or wizard. No one can say what their life span is exactly, but the younger of the two determines how long they life because as long as he is alive the older can not suffer from any old age symptoms or causes of death._

_**Page 95**_

_Increased Healing_

_Their healing time is tripled, viruses, diseases and infections are easily fought off. The two rarely get sick and when injured are usually out of the woods in a matter of hours. Their life forces feed off each other, causing this, and when both are sick the healing time is stinted slightly._

0-0

Harry sighed. This all sounded a little overwhelming to him. He needed a long, scorching shower. Then he needed a good nights sleep. Anything to avoid thinking about the inevitably approaching tomorrow. What was he going to tell Ron and Hermione? Sirius, for that matter? He let his head drop to the desk. Why was this happening to him? What had he done to the world? Besides save it a few times. He scowled. Yes, that shower sounded wonderful right now, absolutely brilliant.

0-0

End of chapter 2

Please review. It would do me good. Why? Because just removed one of my stories, am I upset? Yeah. It was probably within their rights but that doesn't stop me from being pissed. Really pissed. If they remove this one, I'll email you with updates if I have to. Argh. Dammit. Oh well, I'm sure I'll get over it, with your help with reviews of course. Oh, and the book: the paragraphs were just passages that I made up, excerpts from an imaginary book. Funny. Anyway, if I don't get to say it: Merry Christmas. I probably will, but just in case.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't/never will/never did belong to me.

Thanks to all reviewers!

Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 3

(&)

Drunk: Intoxicated with alcoholic liquor to the point of impairment of physical and mental faculties. Caused or influenced by intoxication. Overcome by strong feeling or emotion: drunk with power.

(&)

Harry now had the difficult task of telling Ron and Hermione. There was no way he couldn't, not with him moving all his stuff out of the dorms today. No avoiding it. Dammit! His mind shouted and raged at the complete ridiculousness of the whole situation. This was surely an evil fate dreamt up for him by Voldemort himself. It would only be proper that the boy-who-lived suffered before he became the boy-who-died. Yes, he must have created the bloody bond! Oh, but Snape was a Death Eater. Well, as far as Voldemort knew anyway. But that was only more of a reason to put them together! An inside man!

He thought it over, then shoved the far-fetched idea away and almost hit himself with the stupidity he was displaying. He'd just have to adapt. As Dumbledore had said, there was no way out of it. Besides dying. Harry sighed, at least that was always an option, should things become... too much. An option. He could ensure that was always possible, a few spare potions, a sharp knife handy, anything like that. It was always good to have a plan B. He disregard the option as he did with his conspiracy theor, this did give him a little bit of control.

Now he just had to figure out how to tell his friends. Should he tell them soon? Now? Never? Now, he supposed. After all, putting it off would only make it more nerve wracking. Bloody hell! This was supposed to be easy! They were his friends after all.

(&)

He saw Hermione's eyes close before they opened again, sad and confused. Then two words escaped her mouth that broke Harry's heart. "That's unnatural." She whispered.

Two simple words. Harry's blurred vision darted to Ron, expecting a fist to come flying his way. Instead a grin spread across his face. "You and the greasy git of a potions master? Now that's a picture to laugh at. I feel for you, mate, I really do."

Ron didn't even pay any attention to Hermione's little whisper. This was the complete opposite to what he expected. What the hell happened?

Hermione turned and ran up the stairs to her dorm, passing several concerned girls on the way, including Ginny.

Ron caught Harry's sorrowful gaze up the stairs. "Don't worry, she's going out with Draco, he's actually pretty open minded, he'll talk to her."

"Draco?" He whispered.

"Oh! You weren't there!"

Harry's eye flew up sardonically, despite the mood he was currently in. "No, Ron, I don't believe I was."

"You'd better not spend too much time around Snape, Harry, you're beginning to sound like him.

Harry dropped the eyebrow quickly, an expression of disgust immediately shadowed his face.

"What did I miss about Malfoy?"

"He doesn't want to be a Death Eater!" Ron crowed.

"What?"

"His father was pissed because he didn't want to be a Death Eater, and he scared him pretty bad before he caved in, Draco is his only heir after all, I still want to know what made him cave though. So Draco stayed with us over the holidays, along with Hermione."

"Why'd he stay with you, of all people?"

"His father thought it was for the best that Draco not be around, Narcissa is related to dad through his second cousin or something, so she suggested us."

"You're on a first name basis?"

"He slept in my room! How could we not when I saw him everyday for the last eight weeks?"

"I suppose. But don't the Malfoy's hate your family?" He asked, totally confused, he always missed out on this sort of stuff.

"His father hates our family, yes, but his wife has him wrapped around her little finger, it's kind of sad actually."

"Why didn't you owl me?" Harry felt quite left out.

"We couldn't, I'm sorry mate, no one was supposed to know where he was during the holidays, it was better that everyone assumed he was just at home."

"Yeah, everyone." Harry sighed. "This is a disaster. Hermione hates me because of this stupid bond thing. I hate Snape. Now I have to spend the rest of my life with him! I'm only sixteen, Ron."

Ron's face dropped, his eyes showing sympathy and the slightest bit of mirth.

Harry glimpsed the amusement. "Well, I'm glad you find my situation funny, Ron!"

Ron was quick to apologize. "Sorry, Harry, it's just.. that... you two would just be so well suited! You would bicker like a married couple."

"Suited! What are you talking about suited for? And MARRIED? What the hell are you thinking?"

"Calm down, Harry, I'm not patronizing you, think about it. If the bond is there, you certainly can't continue hating each other, you're going to have to do something about it."

Harry was quiet. "When did you become so wise Ron?"

"I didn't. You just started listening."

"Yeah. Thanks."

"What are friends for?"

"To go with to Hogsmeade to get a butterbeer?" Harry grinned at Ron.

The other boy grinned back. "Yes, that would be right. Oh, and Harry? Don't worry about Hermione, Draco will talk to her, I'm sure of it."

"Thanks, mate."

"No problem."

They headed off to the small village to talk over a butterbeer.

(&)

Snape was well into his second bottle of firewhiskey that morning. A nice record if he did say so himself. No classes, a whole day to go, free as a bird, and a good ten bottles left in his stores. Maybe he could drink himself to death, a nice, hazy death. A rap on his door interrupted his drunken thoughts of pleasant suicides.

"Yes?" He called, his speech slightly slurred.

"It's Minerva, may I come in?"

McGonagall? Why was she visiting? A drinking partner perhaps. Misery loves company. Ah, what a lie, misery loves slowly drinking itself into oblivion. A nice, hazy oblivion. He had to stop thinking these treacherous thoughts.

"G'ahead, Minnie, c'mon in! Join the party!"

Minerva McGonagall walked in, her eyes slightly laughing, partly disapproving at the smell of the room. "I see you've found your way to the firewhiskey, Severus."

"Y'know ya love it, Minnie." The Potions Master grinned at her, raising an inviting eyebrow. Minerva shook her head.

"You're drunk, Severus. I might have to do a sobering up charm soon."

"No, no, no!" She couldn't do that, it would stop the wonderful dizzy feeling he was having right now.

"You won't be fit to teach on Monday with a hangover."

"I'll make a potion ta'morrow." He sounded as if he were desperately trying to sound sober but he was failing miserably. And the man looked miserable. Very pale, pallid, his eyes were gaunt.

"You won't be able to make the potion in your condition." She didn't allow room for the indignant answer that was sure to follow. "Albus told me of your... predicament, with Mr Potter."

"Ah, yes, my pre-predicament with young Mr Potter. Very young. Very, very young-"

McGonagall cut him off. "He is sixteen, Severus."

"Very, very, very young."

"Merlin, Severus, you are a terrible drunk!"

"I'm not drunk!" Snape slurred. Considering his speech pretty much gave him away, the protest was useless.

"I think you need to sleep it off. Mr Potter will be here soon, can't have you this drunk when he gets here, can't have you with a hangover either, I can't imagine the carnage resulting from that incident. I'm afraid, Severus, that I'll have to put you to sleep magically."

"No! I like it better awake!"

Minerva muttered a sleeping charm before uttering the words that were going to make Snape very unhappy. "Purgare Venenare#."

(&)

# I'm very creative. Purgare Venenare is Latin. Purgare: Purge. Venenare: Poison. After all, alcohol is poison. I think. In a way. Just play along.

Please review. No flames though. Nasty, horrible things. Is this shorter or longer than usual? What else do you want to know? Is there anything I've glossed over badly? Do you like it? Do you love me? *blushes*. Anything like that would be appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

Unwanted or Improper   
  
ImmortalFlick  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.  
  
Thanks to:   
  
-roxierocks- Reactions and character are so easy to lose in fanfiction, I try to keep people in character and in working condition. It's hard work though. Those gooey Snapes are sometimes very tempting. I hope it's somewhat original but if it's not, I at least hope it's good quality.   
  
-Jess the Great- Snape seems like the type who would, well, drink the real stuff. And after a while, and sometimes it comes naturally, they built a tolerance. I imagine it would be like vodka yes, but I was thinking more along the line of whiskey (due to the name of course), but Vodka sure is the real stuff. Not that you or I would know, of course :). Well, it would be natural for Hermi to be pissed if she were one of those homophobes. Ron is just more accepting, considering his family (which I may delve into later), he'd probably have to be. Definitions rule! Hope I didn't let you down with this one.  
  
c[R]ud[E]dly (Good. I don't mind Hermi, it's just, ya know?), Marller (Thanks), Fuzzy-Bumpkins (I'm glad you're enjoying it), Agatha (Hope I didn't let you down, I'll work on the couple later), Alynna Lis Eachann (I'll try), friday (Good), Bella Beautiful (I will), DaughterofDeath (Here ya go), athenakitty (Still confused), Sakura (I feel loved), Saavik13 (You'll see in another chapter), goldenpaw (I'll be explaining)  
  
Chapter 4  
  
*  
  
Fury - Violent anger; rage. Violent, uncontrolled action; turbulence.   
  
*  
  
"Professor?" The knocking and curious yelling brought him out of his stupor. His undrunken stupor. Snape cursed McGonagall profusely. There was nothing more utterly frustrating than waking up from beloved nothingness to a hangover.   
  
"G'away!" The professor half-heartedly shouted to the intruder.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry, sir, but I can't!" The voice was sarcastic.  
  
"Potter?" He asked, confused. What was Potter doing at his door? Oh. Wait. That! Damn him! Damn him to hell! "Go away!" His speech cleared up in his anger.  
  
"As I said, I can't!"  
  
"Fine!" Snape tried to stand up, his head pounding like he'd been hit by a bludger. He opened the portrait and glared at the young man. "Come on then. Hurry up." He snapped out the sentences angrily.   
  
The boy rushed in and stood, frozen, in Snape's chambers.  
  
Snape almost groaned but caught himself, he didn't want the boy knowing he'd been drunk. He rubbed his temple, this couldn't get any worse. Unless Potter wanted to talk about it, of course. "You will be sleeping there." He pointed to the door off the side of the main room. Minerva had transfigured one of his rooms into a bedroom when he'd been out. He could feel the left over magic. Needless to say, Severus was not very happy.  
  
Harry gave one last half-glare back at Snape before closing the door behind him.   
  
Snape sat down once more and groaned quietly. This was the worst situation possible. The worst thing that could ever happen. It was the ultimate tragedy. The ultimate downfall. Just the ultimate.   
  
*  
  
Harry sat on the bed. It was rather nice. Someone other than Snape must've had a part in making it. Snape would've given him straw. The Professor's chambers were almost just as he'd thought they'd be. Nothing had been done to stop the cold from seeping through the dull stone walls. Although the furniture was nice, Harry had noticed. A shade of green. There were a lot more books than he'd imagined as well, he'd thought Snape must've spent his waking hours making potions, it was the only thing he truly seemed to feel anything for. Besides hate that is. Because he certainly felt enough of that about Harry.  
  
There wasn't much hope for him now. With the man who hated him most. Bound to the man who hated him most. More than Voldemort himself probably. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if he woke up to the greasy git standing over him shouting the killing curse, or maybe he'd do it the plain, simple, muggle way, with a knife. It would be a very messy murder then.  
  
Harry lay back. There was no future for him now. Not with the bond. Why had he been so depressed lately? It wasn't like him. Oh. Wait. Snape. The book had said feelings would be connected. Bugger. So now he was going to be a bastard. Suddenly Harry had an idea. He chuckled and felt remotely like the Headmaster in his glee. It couldn't be that hard to be happy. Maybe it would work. Wouldn't that be interesting. Snape would murder him if it actually worked. It would be very interesting indeed.   
  
*  
  
Harry spent the rest of the night lifting his spirits. Reading. Polishing his firebolt. He even planned to go flying in the morning. Anything that would take his mind of the damned bond and onto something happy. If he could get it to go to Snape maybe the bastard would loosen up a bit, it would be talk if he gave any points to Gryffindor. But even a happy Snape... Ah, well, it would be worth the look on his face. This 'connection' thing could really be something. Harry smiled. He had to do a lot of that.  
  
*  
  
That morning, having had his early flight, Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. After escaping Snape's chambers without the greasy git seeing him had left him quite down spirited, the flying had helped a lot. He half grinned to himself as he wondered if he'd woken him.  
  
"You're awfully chipper this morning Harry, you sure you haven't had one too many pepper up potions?" Ron asked, confused.  
  
"No, Ron, I'm just happy, is that a crime?" Harry partially lied, but he couldn't go giving away what he was trying to do.  
  
"Well... no, but you know," Ron lowered his voice to what could be called a stage whisper. "with having to live with... You-Know-Who..." Harry almost laughed at the irony of using that name.   
  
"It's not that bad, Ron." Now Harry was lying through his teeth.  
  
Ron looked at him as if he were crazy. "Liar." He stated. Harry smiled.  
  
"You caught me. It sucks. But I don't want to think about it." Happy thoughts.  
  
"I wouldn't either, mate." Ron agreed before taking another spoonful of the pastry.  
  
Harry turned and glanced at the recently arrived Severus Snape. Now, to see if this would work at all.  
  
He closed his eyes and thought of the most... pleasant thought he could imagine. Seamus. Naked. What could he say? The guy was hot.   
  
Harry watched as the Potions Master stood up, looking uncomfortable and irritable, rearranged his robes subtly and left the room giving a sweeping glare of the Gryffindor table, eyes resting on Harry for a moment.   
  
Harry gulped down his terror, what was the worst that could come out of this day? At least he could have a little fun before he was condemned.  
  
*  
  
The whole day was spent thinking upbeat. Happy thoughts, a lot of smiling and laughter. He didn't make eye contact with Hermione all day, the fact that she was avoiding him helped. Ron had been trying to talk to her all day but she hadn't so much as muttered a word to Harry. Ron had given up after she'd called him something rude, insulted his intelligence twice, just walked away several times, and shouted at him a couple of times.   
  
Harry was grateful, but he really didn't want to think or talk about. He'd told her he was gay. He told her about the bond. Both had obviously not... appealed to her. Harry was kicking himself for ever thinking Ron would do that. He'd expected the opposite from Hermione.   
  
Harry's fun, despite the disagreements with his friend, did turn out some results. So far an exact amount of 28 points was given to Gryffindor by the Grinch himself. That 28 points was the talk of the school. Slytherin were outraged, Gryffindors were delighted, albeit slightly confused. It was dinner when the real talk hit the tables though.   
  
Snape had stalked in a side door, robes billowing in a more dramatic fashion that usual. Harry's happy thoughts flew right out the window along with the noise in the room. The professor walked right up to him before grasping the collar of his robe and dragging him out of his seat.   
  
"I will not have you do this!" His voice was beyond furious. Harry saw, from his lowly view, Dumbledore's calm acceptance of whatever Snape had to be angry about. Bloody Headmaster. Didn't know when to open his mouth and when to shut it. He was still angry with the man. Snape was going to kill him for sure. But he couldn't, Harry remembered, he'd die! Harry was about to smirk before realizing that what Snape could do would be much, much worse in comparison. He paled considerably.   
  
Harry thanked his lucky stars that at least the older man had dragged him out of the hall, of course followed by the eyes of his surprised peers, before dishing out the 'suitable punishment' sure to follow. Ron, who looked as if he were going to jump out of his seat, was restrained not only by his own fear, but physically restrained by Fred and George.   
  
Snape was, indeed, furious. Harry could feel it in every breath of air. "I told Albus you had no control over yourself! That kind of manipulation is fit of the Dark Lord. I will not have you enforcing any kind of manipulation of thoughts or otherwise compromise my teaching methods, place at this school and the current jobs I hold!" Harry knew exactly what 'jobs' he was talking about. "Albus reassured me you knew better, evidently he was lying. I don't want you in my life, chambers, or sight but because of whatever 'this'" He waved his free hand, the one that wasn't pushing Harry against the wall, between the two. "is! I don't find you pleasant or the least bit worthy of any attention at all. If I had my way, I'd never have to set eyes on you again. I do not want you messing around in my head ever again. If you do, I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell."  
  
The last threat was one that rang true. His voice had lowered to a deathly calm in the time Harry had been pinned to the wall. He could feel himself trembling. Pull yourself together, Harry! He cursed his own incompetence. He was actually feeling pretty angry. Must be Snape's influence.   
  
The man let him go. His feet touching the ground was increasingly comforting. Harry just glared at his professor but didn't say anything in fear of causing further damage to his anticipated punishment.   
  
"Fifty points from Gryffindor and a weeks worth of detention." That wasn't too bad, if he looked back in retrospect. He would've been pissed too.   
  
"Yes, Sir." Harry said quickly.   
  
"Leave."  
  
Harry was reluctant. "I don't know the password, sir." The respect had to be added, he couldn't afford to lose any more points.   
  
"Defigo #." He said shortly, before once again executing his exit perfectly, robes billowing impeccably once again.  
  
*  
  
It was only at the end of the day, when Snape was yelling at him, that Harry realized exactly how much he didn't want to think about actually having to live with Snape, soulmates, or anything even slightly related. He was beginning to treat it as a joke or temporary amusement more like. He had to see this was permanent. But damn, it was hard.   
  
*  
  
End chapter 4  
  
# Defigo - Security or to secure. Latin once again.   
  
Sorry if it was a bit... weird. I have to have more fun with Harry before I send him to the dogs. Or maybe I already started that. I hope to fix up any loose ends soon. I hope you all had a great Christmas!   
  
Please review, it does me good. 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. 

Thanks to all who reviewed.

0-0

Unwanted or Improper - Chapter Five

0-0

Trudging - To trudge, the slow weary walk of a man that has nothing left in his life but the impulse to simply solider on

0-0

"Albus, this is just evidence that he is incapable of controlling himself!"

"The boy was just having some fun, you have to admit, he doesn't expect his life to be much fun any longer, Severus, you don't have a reputation for that sort of thing." That damn twinkle was going to get the man killed one day, by his hand probably.

"Fun? Fun! What if there had been a meeting today?"

"Then you would've been slightly more upbeat, there is no danger from that."

He wanted to scream. He didn't understand! "I can't be happy!"

"Now, that's quite irrational Severus. Of course you can."

These homicidal urges would get him killed one day. "I'm the Potions Master, a greasy git who is, most definitely, never happy!"

"Severus, had there been a meeting, which there was not, surely you could have kept yourself in check enough not to be noticed?"

"Yes! But that's hardly the point."

"Look, your thoughts, emotions and feelings were probably rubbing off on him as well. Harry does not want to be angry and depressed when he is a child still in school."

"Oh, so he's supposed to go out and fight, and defeat, Voldemort as a child, still in school?"

"Is that concern I hear?" Stupid, old bastard.

"No."

"Severus. I believe I should explain some things to you. A long, long time ago there were witches and wizards who were connected in a way. They were meant to work together, be together, and furthermore, love together. This is a children's story, Severus, you already know it. No one has ever known how it came about, but it did. Once the youngest of the couple has reached the age that the connection deems necessary, sixteen, the bond is first initiated. You well know that if you and Harry do not finish the bond, you will both die. Am I clear, Severus?"

"Very clear." He sounded bitter and he knew it.

"Is there anything further we need to discuss or are we finished here?"

"I believe we're finished." Snape spat out.

"Goodbye then."

Snape didn't bother with farewells. He stalked out, fuming.

0-0

Harry was sorry. He truly was. Snape hadn't been doing it purposely, whereas he had been. It was like mind control. He could understand when he was mad. But Harry didn't plan on hanging around him to apologize. He'd grumbled about Snape with Ron for a while before trudging back to the dungeons.

He didn't want to go back. He wanted control over his own life. Or he may as well march out of Hogwarts right now, wrap himself in bright pink paper and call 'Happy Birthday!' to Voldemort. Now there was a picture.

He could remember Ron's words only an hour ago

_"Mate, if you're going to go back there -"_

_"That's when."_

_"Fine, when you're going to go back there -"_

_"Back where?"_

_"You know where!"_

_"Do I?"_

_"No wonder Snape was furious."_

_Harry looked indignant. "Thanks a lot. Who's side are you on?"_

_"Not yours if you don't shut up."_

_"Fine." Harry was silent._

_"Good. Okay, when you're going to go back to -Snape's quarters-" He took care to emphasize the comment. "Remember, Snape was, and still is, a Death Eater. He can probably kill you a million different ways from yesterday. So whatever you do, don't ever -ever- get him that mad again." The warning was clear in Ron's voice. "I don't want to see you dismembered or worse, in pieces-"_

_"Is that really worse?"_

_Ron ignored him. "Just because you were stupid enough to provoke the bastard, okay?"_

_"Yeah, yeah. I get the idea." Harry tried to sound nonchalant but he knew that Ron's advice was good advice, and that following it would be smart._

_"Thanks for sticking with me."_

_"Just don't get dead, okay?"_

_"I won't."_

_"Good."_

Yes, it was very good advice, and he'd do well to take it. Who knew what kind of horrible torture methods Snape practiced. Just thinking of that made Harry's trudging even more depressed. There was nothing he could really do to avoid it.

"Hey Potter." Not Malfoy. He couldn't deal with the git right now.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry knew he sounded tired.

"That was a lot of trouble you got in with Snape today. How many detentions did you get? Bet the Mudblood's unhappy."

Harry just couldn't be bothered. "You know what, Malfoy? Fuck off." He walked away.

Malfoy stood, stunned for a second. "Growing a backbone are we, Potter?"

Harry didn't say anything, just kept on trudging.

"Can't hold your temper? I suppose that's what got Diggory killed, eh?"

Harry's head snapped up, his emerald eyes hard.

Before he could say anything, a third voice broke in. "Mr Malfoy, I think you should get to your dorms, don't you?"

"But Professor-"

Snape just looked at him. "Don't you agree?"

"Yes, Professor Snape." Malfoy walked down the hallway towards the Slytherin dorms. Harry was too angry to laugh in victory.

"Mr Potter."

"Professor Snape." Harry looked up at the intimidating professor. He could tell the man was tired.

"I think it's about time you slept, don't you?" It was 10:30, half an hour after curfew.

"Yes, sir." Harry nodded then hurried down the hall on his left. He didn't want to wait until Snape would be giving out detentions. He was surprised he wasn't already.

"Oh, and Potter, ten points from Gryffindor."

Damn. Still, he'd pissed Snape off twice and only come out fifty points poorer and a weeks worth of detentions richer. It was actually rather soft. He'd more expected two hundred and a month. Maybe the good mood really had rubbed off.

0-0

Harry sat, leaning against the back of the bed. He didn't want to sleep. Not after Malfoy's little comment.

_"Kill the spare."_

Harry couldn't stand it resounding in his head. Bouncing, echoing, singing. Crying. Shouting. Screaming.

_"Kill the spare."_

He loathed Voldemort. He despised him. He wanted to kill him with his own bare hands. That bothered him.

He looked at the time. 1:49am. Only four more hours.

Maybe he'd write an owl to Sirius. Explaining everything. How would he explain it? 'Oh, and Siri, I'm going to have to fuck Snape. Isn't that great?'

Harry was coming to the end of the straw. He could tell that when he'd sworn at Malfoy. Harry hardly ever swore. It just wasn't him. Only when he was really angry, or fatigued did he swear. He was going for both.

Harry sighed. He'd just have to trudge his way through this year, then he'd see where he'd go from there.

0-0

End Chapter 5

Sorry it's a bit short.

The meaning of trudging is actually off 'A Knights Tale' Geoff says it.

Please review.


	6. Chapter 6

Unwanted or Improper

ImmortalFlick

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.

Warnings: Slash. SS/HP. SB/RL. Implied abuse. Language and intense bitterness (be prepared. I'm a sucker for angst).

Pairings: See above.

A/N: I wasn't sure about this chapter, but here it is. It may not have the same undertones of humor because the 'realization' taking place.

Thanks to:

barbarataku - Possibility? Possibilities are good. Hmm. I'm just that quick. Oh dear, more expectations. Well, I hope this chapter is up to par. Maybe better? Thanks to you too.

c[R]ud[E]dly - I loved the movie too, I finally bought the DVD the other day and watched it, which brought on some inspiration for that chapter. Sad? Aww. Hope this isn't angsty. I am always drawn to angst though.

Shea Loner - Good. Where I go? Where should I go? Forward? Well, forward I shall trudge and hope each chapter is as good as the last and much, much better. See ya! Thanks.

goldenpaw - Thank you. As I said: I'm going forward. You will have to wait and see, I'm trying to add new and interesting things but I'm crap at that. Hope this looks good to you. You're welcome.

Fuzzy-Bumpkins - Yes, my poor baby Harry. He does start to feel better... eventually *smiles evilly*.

Starr Light1 - Yep. Snape's not actually such a bloody bastard all the time. But, as I've pointed out, the bond does have an effect and also it becomes stronger once you're aware and slightly closer (they're living together now). Negative four! Oh you poor, poor thing! *smothers you with hugs and blankets* I would be an icicle! Where the hell does it get that cold? I'm glad it's summer! Very glad! I'm just New Zealand homegrown cattle (something like all our sheep - there are more of them then us! I guess we'd better be nice). Thanks for reviewing!

Iced Flame - I loved that line too, I can just imagine the look on poor Siri's face though! Good, you remember that line, 'cause I think I poured a little more angst into this chapter. Thanks!

Siv, the Elf - All the more motivation! Who are you calling a sick bastard? I happen to be a category seven sick bastard! Now that's real devotion! Nah, just being stupid. Thanks for reviewing!

TheSecretCharacter - Yep. Another one of my wonderful chapters! Slash is, of course, absolutely lovely. As with all fics, there are some wonderfully, perfectly good and some that are just so bad it makes your stomach turn. That's life. I'm glad I'm not in the stomach turning category! Here's the next chapter. Hope I didn't disappoint.

Alynna Lis Eachann - What's worse: so do I! I'm still trying to work out what to do with Siri! But I already know, so I'm confusing myself trying not to be typical. Not much he can do. Kill Harry? Neither can I, friend, neither can I.

Pilas - Why thank you very much. Please review again!

Awen - Actually? *snorts indignantly* (I'm just being self-conceited) Thanks! Here's the next part! Hope you enjoy it (I'm really worried about this chapter, I'd really like your feedback)

athenakitty - Snape's not happy at all. Harry didn't sleep much, if at all. Draco. Well, you'll see.

(&)

Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 6

(&)

Disillusionment - The freeing or deprivation of illusion.

(&)

Revelation

by Robert Lee Frost

We make ourselves a place apart

Behind light words that tease and flout,

But oh, the agitated hear

Till someone really find us out.

'Tis pity if the case require

(Or so we say) that in the end

We speak the literal to inspire

The understanding of a friend.

But so with all, from babes that play

At hid-and-seek to God afar,

So all who hide too well away

Must speak and tell us where they are.

(&)

Merlin! You'd think he'd be used to the pain. This wasn't summoning pain though. Strange. It was the pain he hadn't felt since the beginning of his ties as a Death Eater. It was Riddle's feelings themselves. At the beginning the man had been young and still slightly naive. He'd let his feelings, only extreme ones, immense happiness with something or utter fury. He's distracted. That meant it was big. Be it good or bad, it certainly wasn't going to be pleasant.

Snape sighed. The pain was gone. Should he tell Dumbledore? No, tomorrow, today had been exhausting. He'd made sure Potter was not going to be tumbling in at midnight. Malfoy had been making some rather... rude comments. Snape did not approve, but Riddle nor anyone else was going to be convinced he was a Death Eater if he began taking points from his own house, the prince of his own house, for insulting Harry Potter.

Harry Potter. The Boy-who-lived. Harry Potter. He hated hearing Harry Potter. It reminded him that the boy wasn't his father but a different person altogether. Harry. Harry. Ha- no, Potter. Just Potter. Oh Merlin, Severus, you need to get yourself together if you don't want to be dead by this time next year! Denial isn't going to get you anywhere, he told himself, as if trying to convince himself that this whole bond wasn't completely immoral. Completely immoral. Bed. Snape decided sleeping would be the best thing for him right now. He'd think about the issue in the morning.

(&)

"You have a week to consummate your relationship!"

That was definitely not what the two had expected to hear while arguing over Harry having broken one of the pots in Snape's chambers. An antique. A family heirloom.

A ruffled Albus Dumbledore stood in the door way.

The two just stared at him.

"We don't even have a relationship!" Harry protested after coming out of his frozen state.

"Exactly!" Snape agreed, surprisingly enough, it didn't even register that he was agreeing with someone he hated.

"Lucius defected."

This time it was in unison. "What!"

Snape stared, shocked. "Did you use the truth potion?"

"One you brewed yourself."

"Why?"

"His son. The school."

"Why a week?" Harry asked, he was so confused.

"Riddle is going to attack the school in two months. He has found a way."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Can't you correct it?"

"No. He has found a way through, I am sure of that, I am also sure there are no weaknesses in the wards."

"And?"

"So, he must have found another way, a way I don't know, therefore cannot correct."

"Shit."

"Language, Severus." Snape glared at Harry, daring him to use the name.

"A week?" He asked, still stunned.

"I am truly sorry."

"We haven't even got anything even remotely imitating a relationship!"

"You have a week."

"So this *is* to use against him!" Harry exclaimed.

"You can't defeat him alone, Harry, and I certainly can't expect you to."

"But why Snape?!" Snape couldn't help him, he'd rather kill him.

"I'm not sure you understand, Harry, the bond was already there, I had seen it. I had also seen the advantages in it. I would still have told you if Riddle was not there. I don't fancy having two dead bodies on my hands." Albus was deadpan.

"You said he's not going to attack for two months though, why don't we have that long?"

"The bond need time. You need to learn how to use it."

"But -"

"Look," Albus cut him off. "I would have you consummate it tonight if I thought it possible. Powers the books have never even contemplated are brought out. However, it would be cruel to demand it tonight. I suggest you, Harry, disillusion Severus of some of his notions of you, and you, Severus, should do the same. And for Merlin's sake, being on a first name basis is a start! You both have the day off." The old man left, effectively ending the conversation.

As soon as the door closed Snape ran, shouting something, he grasped the door knob and turned it frantically.. "Damn you, Albus, you have no right to do this!" There was no answer.

"Did he lock it?"

"Yes."

"Ron and Hermione will be so worried." Harry moaned dragging his fingers through his hair, messing it up further.

"They'll probably think I've murdered you in your sleep."

"Ron will."

"Weasley?"

"He told me not to get you mad."

"He's right." Snape half-growled.

"Whatever."

Snape fumed. He almost could kill the irritating brat.

There was over an hour of complete, utter silence before a small voice spoke up.

"I don't want to die." Harry almost didn't recognize himself speaking. Snape didn't either.

"Do you think I want to?" He wasn't going to be pleasant just because he had to fuck the child. Snape almost groaned. I do not have to do this. He said to himself. But one look at the trembling Harry changed his mind. Sacrificing a life for his own conscience was worse than what he'd have to do to save one. But still. Potter?

(&)

Harry didn't mean to show weakness to the bastard across the room but he didn't. He really didn't. Sure, he never was sure if he was going to live past Voldemort but he didn't want to die just because he couldn't - wouldn't - have sex with his professor.

Yeah, he was gay. He didn't even want to think about how Dumbledore knew that. He'd had his fair share of crushes after Cho. Seamus. Justin. Terry. Fred. Ernie. Remus Lupin. Lee. Oliver. Even Malfoy. Okay, he was a horny bastard, so what?

The problem was, he'd never actually been in a relationship before, with a male or female. That also meant he was 100% virgin. Harry Potter had never actually kissed anyone. Now he had a week to become educated.

And he had to tell Sirius and Remus before he actually did it with Snape. Wait. No! He was talking like it was absolutely going to happen. It wasn't! He wasn't going to lose his virginity to Snape! Oh, bloody hell, Harry, what are you going to do? Go out and have sex with some stranger now? He reprimanded himself. He supposed he could always go and talk to Seamus... no, he wouldn't do that to himself! Even if Seamus was sexy as hell.

Siri and Remus didn't even know he liked guys. That was going to be a mess. Now he just had to deal with being locked in a room with Snape for a day. There were some mornings when it wasn't worth getting up.

(&)

"Potter."

"What?"

"It's been seven hours."

"So what?"

"Don't talk to me like that!" He'd take points but that wouldn't get him much of anywhere at that moment.

Harry didn't say anything.

"Talk." Snape demanded.

"About what?"

"Fine." Snape decided he was tired of this and he had no doubt that Albus was going to lock them in here again tomorrow if they hadn't done something.

"I was born in London. Outside of London actually, in the country. I lived in a manor, larger than Malfoy manor, not that you would've seen it." Harry glared at the not so subtle insult.

"The Snapes were a well known wizarding family, powerful, supporters of Voldemort as you probably know.

"My father wasn't a nice man. My mother was... less than pleasant. I was an only child. Fascinated with Dark Arts." Harry snorted. "There was little controversy over what I would do with my future. I was excellent with potions, as I would have to be to become a Master. There was no doubt I would join the Death Eaters. There was a time when I didn't want to but that was quickly diminished after feeling what my father did when someone disobeyed him. I'm not claiming I was forced to become a Death Eater, but had my father not... there is no point in dwelling on that." Snape fell into an uncomfortable silence. "I have done my part." He finally said. "You do yours."

Harry didn't want to say anything about himself. "First, tell me why you began spying."

"Because the Headmaster requested it." Snape said shortly. "Ten points off Gryffindor." Prying child.

"Sensitive subject then?"

He glared at the boy. "I couldn't stand the fact that I had killed someone who was so innocent."

"How old?"

"Five at most."

"You?"

"Eighteen."

"Hmm."

"Hmm, indeed." Snape muttered.

It wasn't until half an hour later that Harry broke the silence. "I spent the first 10 years of my life in a cupboard. I lived with a family that hated me and did very little to hide it. I cooked for them. I cleaned for them. I didn't know how my parents had died, they had told me some bull story about a car crash. My cousin used to beat me up. I didn't have any friends until I met Hagrid. Then the Weasleys. Then Hermione. I hate not being able to live with Sirius and I don't like being called the Boy-who-lived. I despise the Daily Prophet.

"I hate being pitied and am jealous of Ron. My godfather doesn't know I'm gay. I've never been in a relationship in my life. I'm terrified of Voldemort. I wish the world didn't expect me to save them."

There was a silence as Harry wondered if he should've said as much as he did. Once he'd begun, it was like he needed to say it. Bugger it, if something like this was to happen he'd wished it was one of his friends. Snape now had enough blackmail material to last further than forever. His fears melted into confusion when Snape finally spoke, though not in disgust or loathing.

It was something akin to humor. "You'll have no trouble with Black. Nor his partner, Lupin." Snape smirked. "I should take points off for stupidity." He added dryly.

"Partner?" Harry didn't understand.

"Bed partner. Love partner. Fuck partner?"

"They're...?" Harry trailed off in realization.

"Yes, they're together."

"Oh."

"Why didn't they tell me?" He felt slightly hurt.

"Oh come on." Snape just looked at him before seeing he really had no idea. "He's your godfather. You're his godson. You're Harry Potter. He's probably more afraid you'd hate him than you fear he'd reject you."

"I'm not afraid he'd reject me!"

"You're afraid he wouldn't want to be your godfather any longer, that he'd believe you a disgrace to your father, that he'd look at you in disgust. Admit it!" Snape felt like a child saying that but honestly!

"So what if I am?"

"Exactly! So what if you are? Go tell him that. The mutt would probably drop down on his knees and beg your forgiveness."

"Don't call him that!"

"Five points from Gryffindor. You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot call him, especially when it only flows one way."

"What, so you'd rather I defend you?" Harry snorted in disbelief.

"No, Potter, despite what you may think of me. I'd rather you not be contrary."

"Who are you calling contrary? You're the one who all of a suddenly isn't so bad!" Oh shit! He hadn't meant to say that. Fuck.

"Isn't so bad?" Now Severus was totally confused. He was being his usual cruel and unpleasant bastard and suddenly he wasn't so bad?

"Considering how you usually are, being a nasty bastard isn't so bad." That would fix it. Maybe.

"Ten points off Gryffindor."

(&)

Damn. He couldn't imagine how many points he would lose for Gryffindor while living with Snape. The pot had cost him forty. That had practically called for haggling. Snape was going for a hundred. Harry would've prefered none, but there was nothing to be done for it. Sure, Snape had repaired it, but he still went on about it afterwards.

He rubbed his hand. It was still bleeding. One of the shards had caught him. Bloody sharp. Harry had thought about getting up but Snape hadn't moved. He wouldn't move until the Potions Master moved. It showed him as weaker.

(&)

So the boy isn't quite as much of a spoilt brat as he'd thought? So what? Everyone had their own burdens to bear. It was a shame Potter seemed so set on handling it himself. That would probably have something to do with Diggory. Everybody bears their invisible scars too. Some better than others.

Potter still hadn't moved. Severus was almost dying of restlessness. There was nothing he hated more than sitting still. But it was a matter of weakness. He didn't want to be the one who moved first.

The brat's bleeding. What am I supposed to do? Go over and kiss it better? Oh, don't be such a bastard Severus! He yelled at himself. He had to stop speaking to himself. It wasn't healthy.

"Do you want me to fix that?" He settled with. Potter didn't answer. Fine. Snape stood up and opened a cupboard in the corner. Damn. He'd moved. Ah, well, it had to happen sometime. Still. A loss. To him. Now where was it? There.

He stalked over to the boy. Potter looked up at him, a hint of fear in his eyes. What did he think he was going to do? Kill him. I probably should, he thought to himself, the child attracted trouble.

Snape just grabbed his hand. Trying to be angry but not too rough, he wiped the disinfectant over the cut. It looked deep. He heard the short hiss of pain from the boy but ignored it, pride meant something.

He murmured a small healing charm. That should do it. He stood, sharply and returned to the chair nearby, scowling fiercely. What had possessed him to do anything? He should've just let Potter bleed. Once again, something had stopped him from doing nothing. What he normally would've done. Well, nothing and some nice derogatory and cutting comment. He did have reputation.

"Oh, and Potter?"

"What?" He snapped. Potter's temper was reaching the end of it's tether. Snape knew the boy hadn't any sleep last night. He could hear him tossing.

"I'm afraid-" He didn't want to say it. He didn't. But Albus... "you'll have to call me..." He couldn't say it. He wouldn't. "Severus." He gritted his teeth together and said it. That was harder than it should have been.

Potter seemed to have a small heart attack. It wasn't until another minute or so when he finally shut his mouth and spoke. "Well... Severus," The boy was baiting him. "You'll have to call me H-Harry." He stuttered! He stuttered! Snape's mind crowed. Potter was having as much trouble as him!

"Fine." That was done. They'd done what Albus had asked. He'd better be damn well happy.

Snape didn't anticipate a great night tonight. He had to talk to Lucius tomorrow. The man wasn't too infuriating, no more than Potter. Why hadn't he been informed?

(&)

He'd just given the man permission to call him Harry! What was he thinking? Then again. As Snape... Severus - it sounded strange - had said: the Headmaster wouldn't let them free unless they'd followed his instructions. The old man could be quite a bastard sometimes. Harry immediately felt bad about saying it.

How he wished this wasn't happening. But, he supposed, there were worse fates than Snape. Like Voldemort. At least Snape was sexy. Oh Merlin! He did not just think that! Denial is the way to go. It never happened. Harry tried not to think at all, it seemed he was calmer that way.

(&)

End Chapter 6

Lucy is on the good side! I'll delve into that later. Also, the use of first names will be discovered in the next chapter. Hope this didn't um, screw everything up. I know the poem may sound weird but I found it strangely fitting. Hope this chapter was good. Not too short (stuff that! Look at this bloody chapter!). Too long. Whatever. Feedback? Review, please?


	7. Chapter 7

Unwanted or Improper  
  
ImmortalFlick  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I won't answer them in this chapter, there are just too many. And thank you to Sepia, especially, who beta'd this chapter. and hopefully will do the others as well.  
  
Thanks to: c[R]ud[E]dly, athenakitty, Aradia, Thesecretcharacter, Fuzzy-Bumpkins, Sepia aka idiotmuse, DaughterofDeath, Lady Lightening, goldenpaw, Awen, Kateri1, Alynna Lis Eachann, Iced Flame, Saavik13 (Snape), penny, Daintress, Aria-fic.  
  
lighted eagle: You were a great reviewer, you told me what you liked about it what was brilliant, thank you so much for your review. About the length, the longer they are the more inconsistent updating will be, but every now and again there will be a long chapter. Thanks again.  
  
Chantelli - I'm not Rowling.  
  
*  
  
Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 7  
  
*  
  
Revelation - the speech act of making something evident, an enlightening or astonishing disclosure  
  
*  
  
Severus, under no circumstances, was going to be nice to the boy. But, the more he thought about it, the more he knew that even Potter didn't deserve to be... raped. No one did. Snape shuddered. Rape was a large part of being a Death Eater. Riddle enjoyed the helpless feeling it gave the victim.  
  
*  
  
He needed to talk to Hermione! Hermione was always good at calming him down. But she still wasn't talking to him. Dammit! Why was his life so messed up? Ron. He'd talk to Ron. Ron would know what to do. Or not. Ron would probably run away screaming something about mental images.   
  
Oh, come on! He told himself. If Ron could deal with him having to bond with Sn-Severus. Severus. If Ron could deal with him having to have sex with Severus, then he could deal with him doing it this week. But Harry wasn't so sure if Ron could handle giving advice about it. He imagined it would come with a horror something akin to his fear of spiders. Oh well, it had to be worth a try.  
  
The two had just escaped Snape's chambers. The hours in the isolation inflicted by Albus were up, thank Merlin.  
  
Ron was probably crawling up the walls. He did that. Worry. It was in his nature. And he still had to talk to Sirius. He wasn't looking forward to that. But then there was what Severus - it still felt strange - said. If Siri and Professor Lupin were a couple it would make telling them ten times easier.  
  
*  
  
"Ron?"  
  
"Yeah, Harry?"  
  
"I have a week."  
  
Ron sat up quickly on his couch in the Gryffindor common room. "For what?"  
  
"I have a week to do it with Sna-Severus." He stumbled over the name again, cursing himself.  
  
"Do... it? You're joking!" The look on Ron's face was priceless, and it would have been funnier had Harry not been in the current situation.   
  
"No, Ron, believe me, I'm not." There really wasn't much of a positive response.  
  
"You're not?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"No, it's not." Ron insisted.  
  
"I don't - I don't..." Harry didn't know what to say. For the first time in a while he was scared. Really scared.  
  
"Yeah." Ron leant back, unsure of what to do.  
  
"Yeah." A resigned sigh sounded. This was his life.  
  
*  
  
A few moans were heard from inside the room. Harry almost turned and ran. He didn't want to interrupt. Not this. But Harry only had a certain amount of time to tell them and if he chickened out now, he'd never be able to do it. He braced himself as he knocked on the door. "Who is it?" An irritated voice asked. Harry grimaced.  
  
"It's me, Harry!" He yelled back.  
  
"Oh! Wait!"  
  
Then a series of words were heard. "... move... pants... not... now!... robes... where are my..." Harry squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to provoke any disturbing images of his godfather and professor.  
  
"Harry!" Sirius cried in delight as he opened the door. Harry ignored the disheveled hair and shirt. He was enveloped in a hug.  
  
"Hi." He greeted the two, Remus was seating on the chair in the corner.   
  
"Albus told us you would want to tell us something." Sirius gestured for him to sit.  
  
"Sirius tried to weasel it out of him, but you know the Headmaster." The werewolf grinned at Harry.  
  
"Cryptic." Harry knew the Headmaster alright, he knew him a little too well.  
  
"Anyway, what was it?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's that..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Oh for goodness sake Siri! Let him finish." Remus finally ordered.  
  
"Okay, fine, go on Harry."  
  
Well, he had to start somewhere. "I'm gay." He burst out.  
  
"Gay?"  
  
What other kind of gay was there? "Yes, gay."  
  
"And Albus knew this?" Remus sounded curious. Why didn't they just get to the point?  
  
"Well, yes." He still had to ask about that actually. Sick old man.  
  
Sirius still hadn't said anything. That worried him but made him a little angry at the same time. After all, Sirius wasn't exactly one to talk.  
  
"Why would he tell us just for that?" Just for that! Just for that! He'd spent ages agonizing over telling them, and it was 'just for that'?  
  
"Well, there is something else." Harry admitted reluctantly, wishing Sirius would just say something. Anything!  
  
"So, you're telling us you're feeling a little lighthearted today?" Maybe not that.  
  
Remus socked him. "Sirius! Stop teasing him, you know exactly what he's talking about!" Sirius burst out laughing. Relief washed over Harry. Remus patted his shoulder. "Ignore him. Sirius and I are together."  
  
"I know." Harry sighed. Oh how he wished he didn't.  
  
"You know?" Sirius had composed himself.  
  
"Another time." Harry sighed. "I'll tell you another time."  
  
Remus interrupted any protests Sirius might have had. "What else did you want to tell us?"  
  
The hour of truth. "Er, well you see, the Headmaster has discovered something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sirius!" Remus glared at the other man. Sirius was silent.  
  
"He found out that there was a bond between me and -"  
  
"Who?" This time both had jumped to ask the question.  
  
"Snape." Harry whispered quickly.  
  
Too quickly. "Who?"  
  
"Snape." He said, slightly louder.  
  
Both men leant in. Dammit! "Snape!" He shouted.  
  
The leapt away, Sirius falling to the ground. "What?" The outrage was clear on his face and voice. "I'll kill the bastard!"  
  
Albus or Severus? Harry would've thought it would take longer to process but it was clear that the two were in perfect understanding. That Snape would very soon be dead.  
  
"Don't you dare!" He shouted. "After all, if you kill him, you kill me! The bond, remember?"  
  
Sirius' face fell. "But-"  
  
"No buts!" Harry couldn't believe he was defending the Potions Master, nor that he was telling off his godfather.  
  
"Harry, he's-"  
  
"My soulmate." No! No, he wasn't! He was just a greasy professor who hated him!  
  
Remus tried. "So, Albus knew this?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And he approved?"  
  
Approved? "He locked us in a room together." That should be more than enough of an answer.  
  
"And what happened?" Sirius roared. Harry didn't think Sirius could roar. He was wrong.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing happened."  
  
"You're calling him Severus." Remus sounded doubtful.  
  
"Dumbledore said I had to."  
  
"So," Sirius had actually begun to smile. "He has to call you... Harry?"  
  
"Yes..." He couldn't see what was so funny to Sirius.  
  
"You know," A thoughtful looking Remus broke in. "If Harry is your godson, and Snape is his bonded, that would make him something like your son in-law."  
  
This time a wicked grin graced Sirius' face. "You're right. It would."  
  
"Don't even think about it." Harry warned. There was no point in getting Sirius worked up.  
  
"Yes, Harry is right." Harry sighed in relief. "You'd better not get Snape pissed off by even mentioning that." Remus turned to Harry. "When do you two have to... you know?"  
  
Sirius' face turned stormy again. "Yes Harry, when?"  
  
Harry almost took a step back. "Well-"  
  
"Yes?" Not again!  
  
"Well, it turns out..."  
  
"Go on?"  
  
"By the end of the week." He just let it sink in.  
  
"What?" This was turning into a long day.  
  
*  
  
Snape could anticipate the reactions Harry was going to receive from that mutt of a godfather and his partner. A lot of revelations to make there. He could expect some death threats, maybe a few attempts. He had no doubt that the boy would not do anything to defend him.   
  
Albus might not find this so amusing when he discovered just how many were against this. The Granger girl already seemed to be against the boy quite strongly. She'd come around. Harry's (he had to get used to that) friends loved him. That much was evident. It was strange how he seemed to attract that kind of simple devotion. Not hero-worship after all. Although that Weasley was far too much like his mother. Molly Weasley was one of the only people to truly scare Snape.  
  
Now he just had to figure out how to deal with the incoming disaster the bond was going to cause. He had to stop calling it a disaster. Snape sighed, disaster was too weak a word for it.  
  
He had to make sure the boy felt something. Otherwise it would be as good as rape and that was exactly what he was trying to avoid. Okay, firstly, he had to wash his hair. There was definitely a considerable turn off there. It wasn't too hard to see it go though, greasy hair was just another side affect of dealing with potions. So, off to the shower.  
  
*  
  
End of Chapter 7  
  
So... how was it? It's definitely shorter than the last chapter, but I realized how long it had been since I'd last updated and was extremely ashamed. So I hope you enjoyed it and please review. 


	8. Chapter 8

Unwanted or Improper   
  
ImmortalFlick  
  
Warnings: This chapter hasn't been beta'd yet, so any mistakes, I'm sorry about!   
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.  
  
A/N: So, so, so, so, so sorry I dragged the wait out so much. I haven't written anything in weeks and I've had what I might call 'writer's block'. Then today I just sat and wrote, so I hope this turned out okay. Thanks for being patient.  
  
Thank you so, so, so much to my reviewers, there are too many to answer properly, and that's wonderful!  
  
Awen, kujasgirl2, frizzy (Not quite yet, the longer chapters will come in a while!), penny, Fuzzy-Bumpkins, Marller, potts, TheSecretCharacter (Thanks!!!), DaughterofDeath, Alynna Lis Eachann, athenakitty (yes, their hours stuck in there were up, enlightening, yes, Sev takes a shower! Harry? :D Well, not quite yet!), Sally, Lady Lightning, Iced Flame, Kateri1, c[R]ud[E]dly, idril.tinuviel, ataraxis (Forward seemed like the right direction to me too :D )  
  
On a more personal note:  
  
lighted eagle - Here's a little more time (have fun with dancing), your reviews are very much appreciated, I look forward to them, yeah, I like to thank someone who has actually taken some time to chat (not that I don't appreciate others as well) and it's nice to chat back, it's quite sad when there are too many, really. It made sense. Tension's good. Thank you. Ron reminds me of Molly as well as Snape :D. I got it and I love to get it again. Thanks heaps, see ya!  
  
Aria-fic - Sorry bout the wait!!! SO sorry! Yeah, I considered that the tell all chapter and discuss in this one. I hope it lived up to your standards. Rushed? Damn, I spent a while on it. Just think of it was sort of just the dialogue, and the pauses, thoughts and stuff were kept to themselves for once :D. I tend to write a lot of "inside the head" stuff. I tried not to tie myself in cliche but I may've failed because a little bunny visited. The plot has taken a turn in my head and I'm afraid to follow it, but I shall bravely go where I am led. Harry/Sev will progress in a few chapters. Thanks for the review. Bye!  
  
Chantelli - *growl* I love a good debate. Yes, I find my name isn't Rowling either. Potential, there goes that word again. Well thought out is great, but it could just go to hell I suppose. No disrespect taken, as I said, a good debate does me a world of good (I'm at home sick and no one's really argued with me yet). I kept a shred! Okay, now I'm feeling a little ruffled. Okay, good story, tell me --exactly-- what was good about it, come on, don't be shy, that way I can continue what you like! Constructive, eh? Hm. Well. I suppose. Sing my praises, okay, now I'm ruffled again! I don't expect them too, but I also don't expect to be put up next to Rowling and be told I'm nothing like her, because I'm not and I know that (otherwise this wouldn't be fanfiction). It's nice to know you don't consider this a waste of your time. Thank you for your review, it was thought provoking and a good read.  
  
*  
  
Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 8  
  
*  
  
Temper - a sudden outburst of anger, a characteristic (habitual or relatively temporary) state of feeling, a disposition to exhibit uncontrolled anger.  
  
*  
  
"Remy!"  
  
"Sirius, calm down."  
  
"Calm down! Calm down?" Sirius was in a state of rage, of course that didn't stop Remus from trying to make him see reason. "How can I calm down? Snape is going to fuck my godson and I can't do a thing about it!"  
  
"Not unless you kill him." Remus leant back in his chair, staring challengingly up at his mate.  
  
"Snape?"  
  
"Harry." Remus replied with a raised eyebrow. He did admit, Sirius was downright scary when he was angry, and he commended him for not blowing up in front of Harry. The boy was probably in a still in a state of shock and could certainly use a break.  
  
*  
  
Sirius' face said it all and he knew it. He didn't want to hurt his godson, he'd never hurt him. But he had to deal with the fact that his most hated, despised, loathed enemy was going to ruin Harry's life! And Albus was encouraging it! When Harry was here he could hardly restrain himself from shoving some sense into the boy and stopping him from defending that bastard.  
  
Why Harry? Hadn't Harry done enough for this world? Sirius had been there for the past three years, he'd seen first-hand what the his godson had done! Sirius was angry, alright, furious, in fact. If there was one thing his godson deserved, it was a little peace! Peace of mind. Peace in life. Just some bloody peace!   
  
His anger drained slightly as he resigned himself to his lover's arms. "What do I do?" What could he do? He was so helpless and he hated it! He was Sirius Black, once king of the world! Of course, that had been a long time ago, before Azkaban had happened. Before life had happened.  
  
"Talk to him."   
  
"To who?"   
  
"Snape." Remus held Sirius tighter as he predicted the reaction.  
  
He was wrong in his prediction. "I suppose I will have to, won't I?" Again, the defeated tone in Sirius' voice broke his heart.   
  
"Yes, I'd say you will, go ahead, threaten him if it'll make you feel better." He may as well encourage his partner, if there was one thing Sirius could still do, it was make sure Harry would not be hurt.   
  
"I suppose it would." Remus smiled at the wicked grin on Sirius' face. There was the man he loved.   
  
*  
  
Snape sat, staring moodily at the unopened bottle of firewhiskey, the drink became quite addictive. Black would be expected any moment now. Any moment. He'd be here on the behalf of his godson, the boy Snape had to fuck, and he would not be happy. Snape could hardly imagine how furious he'd be in the situation. But he'd be a crap father-figure anyway, the kid would have been on the road long ago.   
  
He still stared at the drink, his brow furrowed. Fuck it, he thought in an fit of rage, fuck it all. Severus threw the bottle as hard as he could, it hit the wall and shattered, the shards went flying. Once again, since the boy had entered his chambers, something had been broken, never mind that this mess was solely his fault.   
  
Before this, this disaster, he'd been living quite calmly, taking in life, Voldemort and students step by step. What was it about the child that made everything change? Where ever he went, everything moved, revolved, they all orbited around him. And yet, he ignored it, was oblivious. Snape snorted in disgust. Utterly ignorant.   
  
*  
  
Sirius had ventured down into the dungeons before, enough times to memorize it, in fact. After all, a lot of pranks were done best close to home.   
  
Of course, he also knew where Snape's chambers were, one thing he'd found out as soon as he'd arrived at Hogwarts. It came into use now.   
  
Knocking maybe wouldn't be the best idea, Sirius thought as he stood outside Snape's door. It was not as if he'd just welcome his archenemy in. That would be slightly... improbable. So Sirius stood there, feeling slightly out of place. He finally decided to knock, there wasn't any other way in, he didn't have his wand. How he expected to do any damage without his wand was a question that was easily answered with his fists.  
  
But his hand's slow ascent to the wood was paused by the sound of shattering glass. Sirius stepped away from the door in surprise. What? It was lucky he'd done that, it turned out, because the door was flung open a moment later.   
  
*  
  
Remus sat in the chambers him and his mate shared. He pondered on the news they'd received. It struck him that Sirius and Snape were quite alike. Very alike. In temper mostly. Remus, personally, had never seen Snape in a true fit of temper, but his infamous temper had been talk long ago, when they were still in school.   
  
That was a story not well known, as it was not something often talked about, but it was something that would increase the fear of students, which, while it would please Snape, was not desirable. Especially considering how many first years came out of the potions classroom violently trembling, a few second and third years exited in tears as well. Even the Slytherins feared him, only they feared him enough to respect him.   
  
But that story was definitely for another time and Harry did not need to know about it now. And maybe sending Sirius off to Snape wasn't the smartest thing to do, their tempers would clash horribly, but it would calm Sirius down after he'd threatened Snape a bit. Hopefully Snape wouldn't hurt him too badly.   
  
*  
  
A angry and determined Snape grabbed the handle and shoved the door open, forgetting about the broken glass in the corner, nothing was going to get in his way. But when he went right into a very surprised Black he was feeling a lot less dignified.   
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" He spat out, knowing exactly why the man was there.  
  
Sirius found his tongue. "Looking for you, actually, you bastard!"  
  
"Bastard? Surely you could be more creative than that, Black. Twelve years in Azkaban wasn't enough for you to contemplate how much you despise me?" The last line was said with little humor. Snape had no time for him. Black was of no meaning, nor purpose, to him. Not at the moment. Not when he had find Harry. Potter. What ever the hell his name was!   
  
"Who are you calling creative, child molester?"  
  
Snape fumed. He fumed visably. You could definitely tell he was fuming. "What did you call me?" His voice was cold and quiet. Dangerous quiet.   
  
Sirius almost wilted but sucked up all the renown Gryffindor courage he could and replied. "I called you a child molester, Snape, are you denying it?" Sirius never claimed to be smart, and his mouth was bigger than his brain any day.  
  
"You fucking arsehole!" Snape flew at the man, his fist connecting with Sirius' jaw, a cracking noise resounded. "You fucking bastard." The irony of the word escaped Severus' notice.  
  
He stood over the gasping man, who was in the process of getting up. "You don't know anything!" This time it was his foot being introduced to Sirius' already sore body. Snape's rage was all-consuming. They were wrong though, you don't see red when you were this angry, because all he saw was black. Who needed red?  
  
*  
  
Harry sat in the Common Room, once again next to Ron, this was becoming routine now. At least twice a day, the two would be called to sit there. Ron telling Harry it would all turn out okay. But you could only say that so often and be believed. Because after a while it gets boring. It gets twisted. And it almost always turns out to be a lie anyway. Things aren't going to be okay and never are. But, in the sole tradition of irony, things do get better.  
  
Hermione was on the other side of the room. She was reading 'Quidditch Throughout the Ages'. Strange. She seemed to be studiously avoiding looking at the two of them. Ron had admitted that Hermione was no longer talking to him, ever since he'd called her a bitch, of which Harry was quite amazed, he knew how much Ron liked her. Ron reported he had Ginny working on her. Harry'd had a small panic when he'd heard that, but Ron was quick to assure him Ginny didn't know anything, only that they were on the outs, and Hermione wasn't saying anything.   
  
Suddenly Harry gasped and clutched his head. "What? Harry, what's wrong?" Ron asked, concern evident. "Is it your scar?"  
  
"No," Harry managed to hiss. "I don't know."  
  
"Is it him?" Ron hissed back, his voice angry.  
  
"I don't know... maybe... it's so strong."  
  
"What is it?" He was right, what was it?  
  
"Anger. Fury. Hate." Harry whispered the last word.  
  
Neither noticed Hermione running out the portrait hole, nor the realization that had dawned on her face moments before.  
  
*  
  
End Chapter 8  
  
I know it's short. I'm sorry it's short. But I'm still climbing back on my feet after laziness, homework and a mild case of writer's block struck me ill.  
  
I feel sick (I have bad hayfever and what I reckon is a cold), and I hope lots of reviews will cheer me up! I'd love reviews, feedback, you know? Especially on this chapter so nothing like the huge wait will ever happen again. By the way, it was my birthday on the 9th, which was pretty cool. So... yeah... love you hear from you! Suggestions are more than welcome! 


	9. Chapter 9

Unwanted or Improper  
  
ImmortalFlick  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.  
  
A/N: Sorry for taking so long! Kinda short too! You might have to read back to remember what's happening, but an update: Snape has attacked Sirius. Hermione overheard a conversation (between Ron and Harry) and rushes off, realizing what's wrong. Hope that gets you up to date.   
  
Thanks to: Jimaine, b, Every Now And Then, Serpent of Light, kears, ataraxis, TheSecretCharacter, Starr Light1, Aria-fic, penny, Lady Lightening, DaughterofDeath, REW, Fuzzy-Bumpkins, lilypurewhite, Pilas, c[R]ud[E]dly, Kateri1, athenakitty, lilsteves and Alynna Lis Eachann.  
  
lighted eagle: I never tire of hearing about my characterization, I've read (and hated) stories when a character isn't realistic. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks for the grammar correction (and yes, you were completely right). I love my Sevvie. Well, thanks again, see ya!  
  
*  
  
Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 9  
  
*  
  
Worry - something or someone that causes anxiety  
  
*  
  
Hermione didn't know what she was doing here. She hated Harry. Absolutely hated him. Or maybe she didn't really hate him. Just was a little mad at him. For what? For being gay? For being bonded to a professor? She didn't know. Now she felt pretty stupid and Hermione hated feeling stupid. But the point didn't have anything to do with Harry, not really. She had to talk to Professor Lupin. Quickly. She'd overheard Ron and Harry's discussion. Something was wrong.   
  
Professor Snape was bound to be deadly angry. And it was bad. Especially if the anger, or whatever it was Snape was projecting, was affecting Harry this way. Like You-Know-Who did.   
  
*  
  
Remus was set in a state of unease. He didn't quite know what was bugging him so much, though he suspected he was worried about Sirius. It was probably nothing serious. Snape couldn't be that bad, right?  
  
That did nothing to reassure him of his lover's safety. It only made the nagging worry worse. Sirius was in somewhat of a tantrum before he left. He could take all his anger out on Snape, who, in return, would not restrain himself.  
  
Remus didn't really know what to think about the Harry-Snape situation. It was almost some sort of strange dream or scary nightmare. But, Remus had to tell himself, it was real, and he had to remember that. After all, he wasn't the one who should be upset, it was Harry. And maybe Snape.   
  
*  
  
"Professor!"   
  
The banging on his door alerted him immediately that something was wrong. Really wrong.  
  
"What's happened?" Was the first thing out of his mouth, forgetting the niceties.   
  
"It's Snape!"  
  
It took a while for the spark to light in his head. Before he realized exactly what was causing that nagging feeling in the back of his mind. "Sirius!"  
  
Hermione looked at him as if he were crazy. "No... Snape."  
  
"Yes, yes, come quickly." He rushed out the door, leaving Hermione in a confused state.  
  
*  
  
"You fucking bastard." The foul words came from Snape's mouth more easily than any thing he'd ever uttered. Which was rather surprising as the man only swore under stress.  
  
Only a gasp of breath escaped from Sirius. His body was held against the wall, a pale hand firmly around his throat. The glee in having control of his archenemy was overwhelming. It wouldn't be murder. Oh, definitely not. It would be justice. And it would feel great.  
  
*  
  
"Snape!" The high pitched, stunned sound of his own voice surprised Remus. His eyes were set on his gulping lover. "Let him go, now!" He growled, the concern and anger building up.   
  
The man ignored his small audience. Hermione was staring in shock and fear at her professor, her eyes wide and round. She had never seen the pale potions master at these heights in anger before. It was a sight to behold.  
  
*  
  
Dumbledore felt his age more than ever before. The castle could feel the hatred radiating from one of it's residents. It could feel confusion, chaos, and destruction. It was not pleased. And it all revolved around two very important people. Albus refused to think of them as tools, though occasionally it was hard not to. They now held an increased significance in the war. A burden none should bear.   
  
An old man, he was, and he could do nothing to stop what was coming. The deaths. The hurt. The fighting. It would tear people apart. Families had already been ripped to shreds. He thought bitterly of all the lives ruined. Dumbledore couldn't help but accept some blame. He swore to himself he would not degrade Severus and Harry as only the means to a cause. But he had to accept that there would be a time when that would be exactly the situation. He didn't have to like it.  
  
*  
  
Remus' cry did not derail Snape's enraged attack on Sirius, nor did the horrified gasp from his student. In fact, the two were shaken off with indifference. It wasn't until Remus had leapt on Snape, the two hitting the ground with a 'thud', did the man make a sound.   
  
"Get off me, werewolf." Severus snapped, his temper not yet snuffed.  
  
Sirius had crumbled when he had been released, the sound of his labored breathing filled the room. Snape was held to the ground by Remus and for a moment there was complete silence.   
  
"Professor Snape?" Hermione ventured.  
  
"Get off me." The quiet, cold tone made Remus flinch. "Just get off me." Resigned this time, as though being led to his death.   
  
Remus lifted his weight warily. Concern for a colleague was needed, yes, but nothing took precedence over his mate's safety. Though all Snape did was prop himself up against the wall.   
  
"Leave." He ordered in the same tone. The three looked at each other. Sirius' indignant eyes met Remus' and Hermione's worried ones. "Leave!" Snape roared.   
  
Hermione fled. The werewolf shot another worried glance in Snape's direction. He grabbed the arm of the slightly breathless Sirius. Holding the man as tightly as he could, Remus left, taking his lover with him.  
  
*  
  
His steps echoed in the hall. The dungeons were cold, but at that moment it was a feeling that chilled Harry's thoughts. When Siri, Remus and Hermione had come into the Gryffindor corridor, Sirius looking worse for wear, his heart dropped to his toes. Now he knew what the pain was. It was Snape. Severus.   
  
It was disconcerting for Harry to realize that his concern for his godfather was lessened by that for his professor. It took a while to realize why. The anger -- no, fury -- he'd felt earlier was beyond anything he'd ever felt before. Not even Voldemort had emitted such a strong emotion. It scared him. Snape scared him. The bond scared him. He, the Boy-who-lived, was scared of a little bond.   
  
Only it wasn't that little. This bond would rule over the rest of his life. He was sixteen! The rest of his life was a long time.   
  
Harry heard something. Breathing. It was close. He slowed, Snape was close, that was no surprise, his rooms were just around the next corner, but who was outside then? Harry took a cautious peek around the corner. There, at the end of hall, sat Severus Snape. He looked small. From where Harry was standing, the man almost looked like he'd been... crying? Harry started when the obsidian eyes met his.   
  
"Potter," the man spat. "Leave now."  
  
And he almost did. Until the wave of despair washed through him.   
  
"But sir-" The sir was said instinctively. Harry was loathe to admit Snape still frightened him.  
  
"Potter..." Speechless? That wasn't like the professor. Usually he had far too much to say. The tone wasn't even dangerous. Just... resigned. Harry wished Snape would tell him to leave again, after that he wouldn't have the nerve to stay. But he didn't say anything else.  
  
"Sirius probably had it coming." He could've kicked himself for saying it. That was the wrong thing to say at the wrong time.   
  
To Harry's surprise, Severus only let out a harsh, mirthless laugh. "Black's had it coming for a long time, Potter. A long time."  
  
Harry had never felt so uncomfortable in his life and he didn't know whether it was just him, or whether Snape was projecting again. Stuff it, Harry thought with a joy that came with being rebellious. He sat across from Snape, a good six feet between them. "What's wrong?"   
  
"Wrong? What ever could be wrong?" The sarcasm was dripping from his voice. "What the fuck could be wrong?" The shout held no sarcasm, only anger and regret. Strangely, it didn't scare Harry, as it was intended. He knew now that Snape wasn't inhuman, he felt as screwed up about everything as Harry himself did.   
  
Harry didn't say anything. There was nothing he could say. But everything was wrong. And life wasn't meant to be like this. Well, for Harry maybe, always for him.   
  
*  
  
It took an hour before Severus said something once again. An hour in which both were silent and still.   
  
*  
  
Harry opened his eyes when he heard the professor stand up. "Come on child, it is cold." Almost soft. Gruff, yes, but gentle.   
  
They stepped into the much warmer chambers of Severus Snape. "Don't call me child." He didn't explain why. There was no need.  
  
Snape gave him a startled glance. "Y-yes, not a child at all."  
  
At that the man disappeared into his room, Harry staring after him. Not a child at all?   
  
*  
  
End of Chapter 9  
  
You like? Harry/Sev romance begins soon! 


	10. Chapter 10

Unwanted or Improper   
  
ImmortalFlick  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.  
  
Sorry about the huge wait.  
  
Thanks to: Silver-Entrantress-Elf, Amanda Saitou, Tornado, kestral-girl, anny108, lee23, nikki675, Enide-Kant-BlackBlueFox, wintermoon2, Professor Potter-Malfoy, Shortshape, Kateri1, Alynna Lis Eachann (I can't get graphic), xikum, emmapotty, Chantelli (peace offering accepted), Serpent of Light, Nation El-Diablo, HecateDeMort, thesecretcharacter, penny, Lady Darkness13, Kodoku, DaughterofDeath, Jimaine, Elven Warrior1, REW, Lady Lightening, risi, ataraxis, Lunakat04, Starr Light1, c[R]ud[E]dly, Laura, linninfields and athenakitty (Snape is weakening already!).  
  
Wow, it's amazing how many people like this fic, I'm really flattered by it all!  
  
Thanks a lot to my beta reader, Sepia, too!  
  
(/)  
  
Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 10  
  
(/)  
  
Woo: To seek the affection of with intent to romance.   
  
(/)  
  
"Lucius." He nodded curtly. Seeing the man looking less than perfect bothered him. Lucius looked like he hadn't slept in days. He most likely hadn't.   
  
"Severus? What- Why- Oh." Albus had not told him. Lucius was not a stupid man, he never had been.  
  
"Are you doing this for Draco?" Snape knew that even in choosing such a fate one could not wish on his son, his own flesh and blood. His friend may have been viewed as less than human, but the man was just as human and conscience burdened as the rest of this forsaken world.  
  
"Somewhat." There was a spark of indifference in the Malfoy's voice, fake, if anyone cared to look.  
  
"Don't play dumb with me; it won't help your case." If there was one thing Severus had no patience for, it was useless answers, and Lucius was adept at giving them.  
  
"I did it for Draco, but not only for him, for Narcissa too."  
  
"Voldemort has a fondness for other people's wives." It was not unknown, Nott's wife had certainly been a favourite, not pleasant for her or her husband. Death Eaters sat by and watched with furious eyes as their partner was chosen by their Lord. A few were honored, but they had their own reasons, some not married willingly.   
  
"Your betrayal comes as somewhat of a surprise, what ridiculously human excuses do you have?" How very Lucius.  
  
"Never had the stomach for it."  
  
The Malfoy let out a soft but sad laugh. "One day you'll have to tell me the truth you know."  
  
One day was a long way away and Severus was in no telling mood. Why he had made such a life-changing decision was not to be advertised. It cheapened it really. That moment was a revolution in his world. Snape settled with a smirk. "Not if you're dead."   
  
All mirth disappeared. "No, my friend, not if I happen to be dead."   
  
Uncharacteristic resignation coloured his tone.   
  
(/)  
  
"Ron, I'm beginning to worry that I might- well- that I might actually... like him."   
  
"I suppose that's a good thing though?" Ron's expression was thoughtful.  
  
"How's the hell's that?" Harry was in a truly foul mood. He'd already had his share of bad luck this morning. Malfoy had socked him in the jaw before breakfast and he was putting off the visit to Pomfrey. Harry hadn't even seen it coming, took him completely by surprise. After breakfast Hermione had tried to apologize, he'd shaken her off with harsh words, his jaw aching and head throbbing. Only after she'd fled had he realized what she'd been trying to do. First class was Double Potions; Harry had lost a total of zero points and received no detentions. He would've thought the Professor was totally ignoring him until he noticed the masked looks sent his way. Severus' eyes were burnt into the back of his mind. What was worse, Harry was calling the man 'Severus' without even thinking about it. This was a bad morning and it was not improving.   
  
"Well, it's a good thing if you like him since you have to... you know." Ron blushed.   
  
"I know. I'm a virgin Ron, and he's going to be my, well, first..." His first ever.   
  
"Oh. What about-"  
  
"Cho?" Like he even needed to ask. Cho was a dead end.   
  
"Yeah, what about her?"  
  
"Don't you think I would've told you? She cried when I kissed her! What do you think would've happened if I'd- well, you know."  
  
There was a long silence. Harry thought he should say something.  
  
Ron got there first. "Have you decided when?"  
  
"No, we haven't talked about it." Harry hadn't wanted to talk about it, he never raised the subject in fear of encouraging Snape to get technical. The boy didn't want to admit it, but he wanted to lose is virginity with a bang, a night to remember. Candles, roses, smelly stuff, the works! He sighed. It was awfully girlish.  
  
"Sex."  
  
Harry looked up in surprise. "Pardon?"  
  
"Neither of us has actually said it. You have to have sex with him." Ron prompted his friend.   
  
"I want to have sex with him." Harry repeated.  
  
"What?" The surprise and tinge of triumph in Ron's voice.  
  
"What?"   
  
"You said wanted!" He insisted.  
  
Harry's mouth dropped open. "I did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Freudian slip." A quiet voice sounded from behind them. Harry's head snapped up.   
  
"Hermione!" The girl looked very uncomfortable, shuffling her feet.   
  
"Hi, Harry, Ron." She nodded at both of them, as if uncertain whether to smile.   
  
Harry took a deep breath and stood up. He took both her hands in an uncharacteristic gesture of sentimentality. "I accept your apology, do you still want to be friends?"  
  
Hermione sighed. Not a sad sigh, mind you, a relieved one. A happy one.   
  
Her arms flew around Harry in a tight hug. "Of course." She whispered, her voice choked up and tears threatening to spill. Hermione tore herself away and fled up the stairs. The two boys heard a sob before the slamming of a door.   
  
"You sure that was Hermione?" Ron said, confused. Too confused to be angry.  
  
Harry just grinned dumbly.   
  
(/)  
  
Harry was happy. Pure, simple happiness was exactly what he was feeling right at that moment. He hadn't heard a peep from Hermione since earlier, but he knew it must've taken a lot of pride to do what she did, and Harry was proud of his friend. Now, he frowned, all he had to do was figure out what to do about the 'sex' thing.  
  
(/)  
  
Remus kissed his lover gently, minding the split lip. "You know, you should really go to Pomfrey." He smiled slightly at the wince from Sirius.  
  
"She hates me!" No one could forget Madame Pomfrey's face whenever Sirius walked into a room.  
  
"Pomfrey doesn't hate you, she just doesn't like you when you're sick, you're a crap patient." Sirius whined. He moaned. Demanded service to the point of slavery. Resorted to physical violence. Couldn't sleep. Argued. Didn't take his potions. A royal pain in the arse.  
  
"Not for you I'm not." Sirius argued.  
  
"Only because I give you sex." He poked at the man's bruised ribs.  
  
"Good sex." A wink suggested much more.  
  
"I should hope so."  
  
(/)  
  
Snape was still in a cold mood from visiting Lucius. He wasn't sure what to think. The man seemed to be regretful and indifferent at the same time, managing to sound innocent all the while being on the shady side, the gray side. Albus vouched for him and the old man's judgment was close to impeccable. Close.  
  
He stepped into his own chambers, usually unoccupied, the recently acquired inhabitant sat on his own couch, reading his own book. Severus sighed inwardly. He supposed this was inevitable. Sharing. Though he hadn't had any particular reason to before now. Living by himself, socializing at a minimum, no 'one-night-stands' from which stemmed illegitimite children (probably less than he could say about Lucius)and absolutely no committed relationships.  
  
The black mop of hair was the only thing Severus could see. Similar to the boy's father. Harry's father. James Potter. Bastard.   
  
Harry hadn't noticed him. Not very observant, Snape sneered to himself. But then, what had he to fear in here, Severus himself? Not anymore. And the man had to admit, his wards were more than sufficient to keep any of Voldemort's lackeys away. Although it didn't seem to be enough to keep Albus and Minerva out, they commended the protections though, admitting they were intimidating. They were enough to keep nosy children out. Not too dissimilar to Death Eaters.   
  
So quiet. For a child. What was he reading? Quidditch probably.   
  
"Hello, Professor Snape." Severus almost jumped. Just almost.   
  
"Potter." He nodded before realizing Harry couldn't see him. The professor crossed the room to sit on the chair opposite the other wizard.  
  
Quidditch Through The Ages. Snape couldn't help but let out a short laugh.  
  
"May I inquire as to how many times you have read that book?"   
  
Without looking up Harry replied. "May I inquire as to how you came to own it?"  
  
Severus could have been offended at the rather spot-on mimic, but chose, instead, to ignore it. That was a story that could be better buried.   
  
There was a large empty silence. It wasn't until Severus let out a whooshing sigh did Harry look up. An accusing cry sounded seconds later. "You washed your hair!"   
  
Snape tensed. "It was of better use in my occupation unwashed, but yes, I thought that in the current..." He floundered (not that Snapes flounder) for a word. "...situation, it was appropriate."  
  
An eyebrow was raised. "Are you trying to 'woo' me, Severus?" The way the boy said it made a slight flush rise to Severus' cheeks. It made him feel like a perverted, dirty old man. The truth hurts, he told himself harshly. It was a step.  
  
"Could there be any harm in it?" Notice the careful lack of answer, all the while falling into an answer with the use of a not-so-subtle question.  
  
"I might go to bed." Was the abrupt reply, though Severus could've sworn he'd sensed the faintest tinge of amusement.  
  
As the door to the bedroom closed, the potions master leaned back. That was one of the most surreal ten minutes of his life. The loose banter was unfamiliar, though not unpleasant. And a tingly feeling ran through his finger tips.   
  
(/)  
  
Harry could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks as he walked away. The young man couldn't quite place a word for the feeling. Embarrassed? Not really. Offended? Definitely not. Aroused? Of course not. Really.  
  
He sat down on the bed. Harry was confused. All of a sudden this whole messed up situation wasn't as bad. It wasn't life and death. Or living hell. Or even traumatizing. In fact, it was almost... nice.   
  
When Harry calmed down and thought about it all, taking it in stride, he wondered if it wasn't quite a good thing. Severus was his soulmate. Soulmate. You couldn't just give that up. A once in a lifetime opportunity. He wasn't likely to get the same thing with some guy he'd meet later on. Or with the deliciously hot Seamus. Sex? Sure. But a soulmate? No.  
  
And yeah, his Potions Professor was sexy. And Harry couldn't wait to get a good look at his arse. That didn't mean anything, did it? Did it?  
  
(/)  
  
Severus worried he was beginning to get comfortable with the invasion of his personal space. His area. Sharing his privacy with a student. Harry Potter. A sixteen year old boy. A raging ball of uncontrollable hormones. A virgin. Severus noticed the complete change of subject and wondered if he wasn't a raging ball of hormones himself. He hadn't thought about sex this often since he was sixteen himself. Maybe it was the damn connection.   
  
When Severus thought of what he and Harry would do in five days time, he couldn't help but think of a portrait of debauchery. Wanton sluts and all that. And he had even gone as far as to properly wash his hair after making potions, which was a pain, that being the reason he had stopped since he was a bachelor with no particular need to look 'pretty'.   
  
Severus Snape wondered if he would ever actually like his partner enough to love him. And he came to the conclusion that yes, maybe he would.  
  
(/)  
  
Lucius lay in his four poster bed, next to his wife who had long ago succumbed to sleep, hidden somewhere in the dungeons of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, his eyes closed but by no means was he asleep. Madame Pomfrey had given him several potions that made him feel slightly off balance, though none had managed to make him sleep. He had a lot to worry about now, no more than before, true. Lucius had been on rocky ground with his old master for the past year. His son was due for initiation this year and, despite the child's obvious eagerness, under no circumstances was Draco going to become a slave.   
  
"Fuck loyalty," The traitor proclaimed, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the tone when his wife was quiet next to him. "Fuck pure-blood superiority. Fuck Voldemort." Lucius was not often one for unsavoury language but it seemed uncannily appropriate. A shiver had passed his spine at the word 'Voldemort'. He was not a fearful man, not superstitious, not flamboyant, not showy or flashy. Occasionally stupid, never rash, good strategist, he thought things over. He'd thought about changing sides in this ridiculous war for over seven years. And he'd not yet decided whether he'd made the right decision.  
  
_Narcissa was on the bed next to him, her body tense. Lucius wanted to ask if it was good. Cruel of him. It wasn't her fault her husband was a bastard who let other men fuck his wife. Lucius stared at his wife's bare back. He was a bastard. A downright bastard.   
  
He heard a noise. It took him more than a minute to realize what it was. She was crying. His beautiful Narcissa. She hadn't cried in front of him since they were in school. She was a strong woman, stronger than any Lucius had ever known. It was what had attracted him to her in the first place. Her attitude amongst the rest of Slytherin house was like a beacon of light in a dark one-way tunnel. So he'd made her his wife. And he'd contaminated her for life. Damned her, he supposed.   
  
She was perfect, a sensitive lover, a natural organizer, a prize wife and an amazing mother. Narcissa wasn't heartless, however icily beautiful and sometimes untouchable she looked, even to him. What he'd forced on her was unforgivable._   
  
That was when he'd decided he was sick of high society, of being a mindless slave, and sick of being a complete bastard. At that moment Lucius had stood up and begun to pack a trunk, not asking his house-elves to do it for him, this was something that had to be pick and choose, something house-elves had no ability to do.   
  
At two in the morning he'd stormed through the house, deciding what was important, took ten minutes through Draco's bedroom, taking anything that was of true value to his son. Narcissa had not asked what he was doing. She already knew. Lucius knew just how much he loved her that night, more than the first night they'd been together. And they'd left for Hogwarts.   
  
(/)  
  
End of Chapter 10.  
  
I tried really hard to make this quite long, which is why it's taken a while (and because I'm lazy, can't stress it enough). Hope you enjoyed it, I'd love some suggestions for later chapters, things you want to see happening. 


	11. Chapter 11

Unwanted or Improper  
  
ImmortalFlick  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.  
  
Thanks to: Clara Clog, TheSecretCharacter, potts, NatalieJ, penny, Kateri1, Amanda Saitou, emma, Craw/Brad, Lady Lightning, Lady Phoenix Slytherin, Winnie2, HecateDeMort and lighted eagle.  
  
ataraxis: I know, I didn't do it on purpose. I've put it in now. I'm so ashamed ducks head. Thanks for telling me and thanks for the review!  
  
The-Magnificent-Fuzzy: How could they?! That sucks. Thanks for your review!  
  
curlytop: Moral - relating to principles of right and wrong.  
  
Wildfire2: Yeah, there are only a few more days and Harry will be getting nervous. Thanks! I'll email you right away!  
  
yet another author: Email me anytime! I'm cool to chat and stuff. I know, I'm so amazed by how many reviews I'm getting! Thanks!  
  
(/)  
  
Chapter 11  
  
(/)  
  
At fault: Deserving of blame; guilty - admitted to being at fault.   
  
(/)  
  
_"Kill her." Voldemort gestured at Petunia Dursley, whose terrified screaming was piercing. A masked Death Eater stepped forward and raised his wand.   
  
Harry covered his ears. He didn't want to hear it.  
  
"Avada Kedavra." A flash of green and Petunia's body crumbled to the ground, soon forgotten as Voldemort turned to Vernon.   
  
"It is a shame I have to kill you before Potter is here but time is running short. Muggle, do you know why you are going to die?"  
  
Vernon, through his trembling terror, managed to spit out a few words fueled by hate. "It's that blasted Potter boy!"  
  
"Good." Voldemort lifted his wand and a few seconds later, "Crucio!"  
  
Harry screamed._  
  
And he awoke. It was dark but it was late morning, the dungeons allowed little light in. There was no one here to wake him up from his nightmares. Harry dropped back down again.   
  
They were dead. The Dursleys had finally met a horrible fate. And it was all because of him. He wasn't sure what to feel. Because he hated the bastards, but they were his family. He had to 'mourn' them because of obligation. That sounded so awful.  
  
Harry turned over. He'd have to get up and tell Dumbledore later, but right now all he wanted to do was to lay in this dark room and not get up for a long time. He hurt all over.  
  
(/)  
  
"I am the bearer of very bad news, Severus."  
  
"Tell me now, Albus, you can not make my day any worse."  
  
"The Dursleys have been murdered by Voldemort."  
  
Severus' eyes widened the slightest bit. "Potter's relatives?" He asked calmly.  
  
Dumbledore nodded the affirmative. "Early this morning. It appears he did not wait for Harry to arrive home. There must be a reason for this. I take it you were not informed?" The question seemed casual and almost rhetorical but Snape knew Dumbledore was not a force to be reckoned with.  
  
"I heard nothing of it, neither did Lucius apparently. The Dark Lord is becoming selective in what he gives away. It does not necessarily mean he suspects myself but I should practice caution."  
  
"I am not prepared to send you to him if you are in any danger."  
  
"With all respect, Albus-"  
  
"I agree, you have control of your own life, but are we to risk Mr. Potter's also?" Snape scowled at being interrupted, though he understood what the old man was saying. He was in no position to risk Harry's life. Not for something that now seemed as pointless as being a spy now seemed.  
  
"I may still be able to access the new inner circle."  
  
"You've been excluded for a reason. Tom is smarter than we've ever judged, we'd do well not to underestimate him." Albus stroked his beard, his eyes weary. The staircase began to shift. Snape blinked. "Mr. Potter has arrived." Severus felt his stomach sink.  
  
"Hello Headmaster." Harry greeted Albus with a nod and a half-hearted smile. He sat on the chair without being asked.  
  
"Harry, I have some bad news," Dumbledore began in a similar fashion as before.   
  
"The Dursleys are dead." The tired voice of Harry finished. He winced when both men stared at him. "I know. I had a vision."  
  
"And you did not notify the Headmaster immediately?" Snape all but growled.  
  
"I'd just been through the Cruciatus Curse, I wasn't exactly in the best of health, Severus," He deliberately used the man's given name. "what was I meant to do?"  
  
"That's quite okay Harry, why don't you take classes off today. Severus, if you'd be kind enough as to escort Harry back to your rooms? There will be a meeting after dinner."  
  
Snape left the room, Harry following behind.  
  
"Are you not upset at the loss of your relatives, Potter?" Severus fought with his curiosity but he was receiving strange vibes from the other.   
  
"They were just that, Professor, just relatives." And the dullness in the voice was there again. A confused sort of feeling.  
  
Just relatives? What did he mean? Snape left it though, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.  
  
(/)  
  
"The man is dangerous! He's a well known Death Eater, he can't just waltz in here! He could be a spy!"  
  
"Calm down, he's safe." Snape sneered. Moody just fixed his eerie stare on Dumbledore.  
  
Dumbledore sat at the head of the table, his gaze encompassing all of them.   
  
"There is no doubt about Lucius, Albus, shouldn't we be discussing the Dark Lord?"  
  
"Severus is right, Lucius is not a large worry at this time, Voldemort is. If he found Mr. Potter's home, why did he not wait for Hogwarts to let the students go? He is hurrying for a reason. Severus, are you sure he is not aware of the bond?"  
  
Severus nodded sharply. He could only imagine Voldemort's glee at the fact. The man would have to act before himself and Harry were bonded completely. Because once the bond was fully activated the odds of Voldemort being able to kill his enemy were very small.   
  
Albus sighed. "Severus, understand me in this, you are not to return to him when he summons you." The order all turned to look at Snape.  
  
"But Albus-"  
  
"There is too much at risk, I can not allow you to return."  
  
"That is completely-"  
  
"Four days, Severus. You have four days."  
  
Severus felt himself tense. "Fine." He left before he could be dismissed. He felt the eyes of the order follow him. Damn all the bastards.   
  
(/)  
  
Snape was sick of this. Potter had been silent and brooding all day. He would sit on the couch, in front of the fireplace, pretending to read a book and failing miserably.   
  
Finally he couldn't take it anymore. Severus couldn't concentrate on anything but on what the boy was feeling. He had no doubt that he would be incapable of brewing a potion. He sat on the chair that gave him a good view of the other's face.   
  
"Potter, don't you think you've had enough of this?"  
  
Potter looked at him with a forced indifference. "Enough of what?"  
  
"They're dead, they're not coming back, Voldemort murdered them like he did your parents. But you are upset for more than that reason and while you have the right to grieve and mourn the loss you are doing neither. Explain." Severus made sure not to voice the order as a request or suggestion.   
  
Harry stared at him for a moment before dropping his gaze to the book once more, finding it easier to not look at the man.  
  
"The Dursleys weren't the nicest of people, actually they were complete bastards. They hated me and I hated them. I was expected to be grateful for their 'hospitality' when I wasn't even treated like a human being. They called my parents freaks. All witches and wizards were freaks to them. Now they're dead, it's because of me. Just like my parents. I'm supposed to be crying my eyes out I think and I can't even be sad about it. That's not normal."  
  
Harry found he couldn't say anymore. His headache was getting worse.  
  
(/)   
  
Snape sat in silence. How could he have forgotten what Potter had told him about the Dursleys? Did he just ignore it? He knew exactly what the 'just relatives' comment was about.  
  
"Potter- Harry, are you telling me that it my fault my parents died?"  
  
Harry dropped his book. "What? No! What?"   
  
"Well it seems that is precisely what you are telling me. My parents were killed by aurors because when I betrayed the Death Eaters the ministry had me under veritaserum. I was called to reveal quite a few of the higher ranking Death Eaters."  
  
"That wasn't your fault! It was veritaserum!" Snape was surprised the boy hadn't other arguments. After all, he had converted to the light from the dark.   
  
"But then Potter, you are much more indirectly involved in James and Lily's deaths."  
  
"Voldemort wanted me!"  
  
"You were an infant and you should know, unless you have a more inflated view of yourself than I had previously thought, that an infant could hardly have control over any of that."  
  
"What about the Dursleys?" Harry asked quietly.  
  
Severus shook his head. "You were in school. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen. Your foresight is no better than that of Sibyll Trelawney."  
  
"They are my family."   
  
"They are your relatives, Harry, just relatives." He repeated what Potter had said earlier with a slight sadness.   
  
Harry didn't say anything. Snape thought for a moment and then decided what to do.  
  
He stood, catching the attention of his bonded, and walked over to the cabinet in the far corner of the room. He took one bottle, thought again and took two more.  
  
"This, Potter, is why I would not be considered a good care-giver." He placed the three bottles on the table between them. "Feel free. It's a good cure for headaches."  
  
Harry sat perfectly still until Snape popped one open and lifted it to his lips.   
  
"Shouldn't you use a glass?" Harry suggested, surprised. "If that's what I think it is, even Sirius can't hold it very well."  
  
Severus laughed, making Harry jump a little. "The mutt can't hold alcohol at all."  
  
Harry tentatively opened a bottle and took a sip. It burned down his throat, causing him to cough, he made a face of disgust.   
  
"This tastes horrible!"  
  
"The best stuff always does," Snape had watched the whole scene with a lot of amusement. "But believe me, it will help you feel better."  
  
"Not if I have to face Hermione and Ron tomorrow with a hangover." Harry muttered, shaking his head. He took another sip anyway.  
  
By the end of the night neither of them were in the least bit sober, but both had no worries. And later, when another bottle had made it's way out, Severus rubbed Harry's back as most of his stomach leapt out of his mouth.   
  
(/) 


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks to: Teldra, Awen, C.M Aeris Queen of Insanity, Yuuki Miyahara, im-a-daydream-believer, Every Now And Then, dolores, potts, Amanda Saitou, futagoakuma-tenshi02, Lutheyl, HecateDeMort, The-Magnificent-Fuzzy, Tazthedevilman, Kateri1, ataraxis, kestral-girl, penny, Arch-Nemesis, Saavik13, GIN, RabbidChicken, jentyl3, Lady Lightning, Elven Warrior1, Shini the Graver, Craw/Brad, Mikito, Wildfire2,  
  
xikum: I believe Sevvie would have quite a different view on alcohol than the rest of us, if you're going to get drunk, you're going to have a hangover, it is a consequence, you must deal with consequences not magically cure them. Draco will appear more in the future, along with dear Lucy. You just won't see them in this chapter.  
  
Buttercup: This story will never be shelved by me, I can't wait to find out what happens next (that sounds so weird). Well, consider the Wizarding world is so far separated from the Muggle world that there really is no telling what rules they do/do not have. Plus there could be a loophole, lack of rule due to blindness, simple Albus meddling etc.  
  
athenakitty: Well, the answer would probably be: No. Unless I want to delve into the sixth book (something I kind of want to avoid) there really are only a few believable ways to do this, plus it would stint future plans.  
  
Clara Clog: I know, I'm a little lazy and slow. It WILL get slashy, hold your horses! Thanks for the interesting and provocative review!  
  
Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 12  
  
Quarrel: An angry dispute; an altercation.  
  
Severus felt warmer than usual. He rolled over and opened his eyes gingerly, his head was pounding. Black hair was in his face. A soft, wild array of black hair.  
  
"Oh Merlin," He groaned, stumbling out of the bed. He was missing his shirt but other than that he was safely clothed. But then maybe it would've been easier... Severus shook it off immediately. That was not a good idea.  
  
The world spun around him and he thought he should sit down. He hadn't been this hung over in years. Maybe it was the boy's influence. With that thought Severus looked down at the bed. Harry looked more innocent than the professor had ever seen the trouble maker. It was nice to know he could look innocent. It would be a shame after seeing him like this to have to live with him awake again.  
  
As if prompted by Snape's thoughts the boy's eyes fluttered open. Severus sat on the end of the bed, awaiting the assessment of his partner's health.  
  
"Aw fuck," Were the first words from the green-eyed boy. "Fuck, my head is killing me."  
  
Severus smirked. "You should've thought about that before you got drunk, Mr. Potter." The name kept leaping out of his mouth, it felt so wrong, especially when the boy was in his bed.  
  
Potter instantly seemed to wake up. "You told me to!" He exclaimed, wincing at the loudness of his own voice.  
  
"Potter, I didn't tell you to do anything."  
  
Harry shut his eyes and groaned. "Could I at least have a hangover potion?"  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow. "I think not. You got yourself in this position, it should teach you not to do it again."  
  
Harry's eyes snapped open in surprise. He stared at Snape. "That is so unfair! You get-"  
  
"I do not have hangover potions, Potter, I believe it defeats the purpose."  
  
%  
  
It felt like his head was exploding, his mouth was dry. Snape was being a bastard. He pressed his head into the pillow, trying to block out the roar. It took him a moment to realize that it wasn't his bed. It was Snape's. He looked up at Snape, who was shirtless. He blushed.  
  
A shirtless Snape wasn't a bad Snape either. He had a good body, if a little thin. He wasn't a hairy man (Harry sighed in relief). Harry's gaze followed the trail of hair down the man's navel that disappeared into his pants- Harry blushed again as both the professor's eyebrows raised. He was caught checking the man out. How humiliating. His aching head agreed with him, a sharp pain made Harry flinch as he moved.  
  
"I hate you." He muttered.  
  
"We agree on something then." Snape answered, turning and leaving the room. Harry sighed. He couldn't even remember how he'd ended up here.  
  
Snape had not returned to his bedroom, thank Merlin, and Harry was still trying to piece his head back together half an hour later. About five minutes ago Harry heard some knocking through the rooms. He didn't think he could stand so he left it. It was persistent though and didn't let up.  
  
Soon the incessant pounding on the door could not be ignored. Why wasn't Severus answering it? Harry groaned and gingerly rubbed his head. The throbbing was painful.  
  
"I'm coming, bloody hell," Harry muttered as he made his way to the door.  
  
The moment he opened it he considered slamming it and going back to bed.  
  
"You were gone all of yesterday and you weren't at breakfast this morning!" Ron's exasperated tone reminded him his friends still cared. "We were worried!" Harry almost laughed - Ron was beginning to remind him of Mrs. Weasley. But he held it quickly, partly because of the seriousness in Ron's voice and partly because he didn't think he could stand the rattling.  
  
"I'm sorry, I had some bad news." Harry said quietly.  
  
"Oh no, what's happened?" Hermione moved to Harry's side, concern etched on her features. It was strange, Hermione had changed lately. Harry left the thought for later and focused on now. Of course, focusing probably wasn't a good idea, considering the walls were swapping around.  
  
"The Dursleys are dead."  
  
Ron's jaw tightened and his face reddened in embarrassment. "Sorry mate," He said awkwardly. "Did You-Know-Who do it?"  
  
"Who else?" Harry answered dryly. He was hoping neither of them would notice his squinting or the room spinning clockwise four times and then anti-clockwise two and a half.  
  
"Oh Harry," Hermione sighed and moved to sit down. Harry followed slowly. "How are-"  
  
"Let's not talk about it," He cut it off. "I'm really not in the mood."  
  
They nodded in unison.  
  
When neither of them moved to make conversation Harry was forced to think of a topic quickly. "So how's quidditch looking, I've missed Ravenclaw versus Slytherin, right?"  
  
"It was a great game, shame you missed it. Absolutely brilliant." Ron finished off on a wistful note.  
  
The next comment from Hermione caught Harry by surprise. "Draco played really well." She smiled.  
  
Harry could've sworn Hermione had just said... Wait, Ron had told him... Oh bugger. Harry stared in silence for a second. How could he have forgotten? Of course, Ron had broken it to him at the worst time. Or the best time, he supposed, the shock value had worn thin compared to everything else.  
  
"You know, I ran into him a few days ago."  
  
Immediately the smile faded into a sympathetic look. "I'm really sorry about that, you know. We had a fight and it was one of his bad days."  
  
"He called you a mudblood." Harry said it quietly, not quite sure what her reaction would be.  
  
Luckily it didn't seem to be news. "Draco told me. He apologized too. He really is different you know, different than we've ever seen him."  
  
Harry took that with a pinch of salt though. Malfoy, his rival since first sight, not such a bad guy after all? Hard to believe. "Well, I wish certain other Slytherins were the same." He conceded.  
  
"Maybe you'll discover Snape still has a chance. It just might be a little harder to find."  
  
%  
  
The return of Draco Malfoy into Harry's life was a bit of a step out of the slow dread of the incoming date. Since this whole disaster had begun, everything in his life had taken a step back and the focus was on the bond now. The visit of Ron and Hermione had taken his mind off his headache and predicament. Of course, that he had to have sex with his bondmate in four days did not leave his mind for a moment.  
  
Harry was a virgin, sixteen, and for the rest of his life he would have sex with one man.  
  
It didn't bother him as much as he thought it should have. It was security, he supposed, plus there was an allure in the Potion Master's dark mystery. Severus was intelligent, skilled and blunt. The whole bond thing could be a good thing. Harry was more content than he'd been for days.  
  
However, the return of Severus did not bode well for his mood.  
  
There was a disgruntled look on the Potions Master's face though, which was a rare sight.  
  
"Your friends are not welcome here, Mr. Potter."  
  
Harry's jaw dropped. That was unexpected. How could he? Harry spluttered for words for a second before expressing exactly what he wanted to say in four words. "That's not bloody fair!"  
  
"10 points from Gryffindor." Snape's sour expression made Harry angrier.  
  
"You can't take points off for personal stuff!"  
  
"These are not personal matters, Potter, you swore at a professor therefore you lose points."  
  
"You're not my professor right now, you're my..." Harry paused. "...lover." He finished, his tone much quieter than before.  
  
Severus looked down at him, his face unreadable. There was a long silence.  
  
"Potter, we are most definitely not lovers. I do not love you, you do not love me."  
  
The words were cold and decisive. Harry bit his lip. "You know what? Fuck you, professor!" He fled.  
  
%  
  
Severus sat with a small sigh. The day was not going well. Since he'd opened his eyes his personal space had been invaded. He hadn't shared anything in years and now not only was Harry Potter sharing his bed, the boy's friends were sharing his chambers.  
  
Severus knew he was out of line but it was uncontrollable. Everything in his life had just settled into a balance he could control, now that balance was gone completely and he had to admit it was more than a little disconcerting.  
  
%  
  
"Albus." Snape nodded at the Headmaster and sat in the chair opposite the old man.  
  
"Good morning, Severus, how are you?" The cheery voice of his mentor made him frown.  
  
Severus chose to ignore the question and get to the point. "Mr. Potter has the misguided belief that we are... lovers." He spat the last word out.  
  
A small smile appeared on Albus' face. "Be grateful, Severus, that Harry did not call you his boyfriend." Severus winced. Yes, that would be a great deal worse.  
  
"It is unethical, Albus!" Snape truly didn't know why he was still holding to his morals, it wasn't doing him much good, especially not in this situation.  
  
"It would be unethical for you two not to have made some progress. I do wish you would stop calling your partner 'Potter', Harry will be fine."  
  
"Don't you see? He's not my partner!" Potter was just a student he'd slept with last night. And who he happened to have a strong bond with.  
  
"What is he if not that?"  
  
%  
  
"Potter, I apologize, my demands were uncalled for." This said through gritted teeth.  
  
Harry looked at him in surprise. It may have been a stiff apology, but any apology from Snape was something to be held in awe.  
  
"Could you repeat that? I'm sure I misheard." Harry couldn't help it.  
  
Severus' jaw tightened.  
  
"Sorry, it's just that you looked so uncomfortable." Harry dissolved into laughter.  
  
"Mr. Potter," Severus begun.  
  
"Harry." He corrected. Even in his mind Professor Snape had changed to Severus.  
  
"Harry, I would appreciate it if you would refrain from mocking me."  
  
Harry let the laughter fade to a small smile.  
  
"Whatever you say."  
  
Severus sat next to him for the first time since they had shared the rooms, facing the crackling fire Harry had started earlier to dim the cold of the dungeons.  
  
"How are Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley?"  
  
Harry hesitated a little before answering, after all, what did he want to know?  
  
"They were a little worried, I was missing the whole of yesterday."  
  
"I believe 'a little' would be an understatement, Mr. Weasley's anxiety tends to resemble that of Molly Weasley at times."  
  
"That's exactly what I thought." Harry wondered what Ron would think, if everyone (including his Potions Professor) thought he was as 'mother-hen like' as Mrs. Weasley.  
  
Neither of them said anything for several moments.  
  
"We have four days, Harry." The tired voice of the Potions Master brought Harry's eyes to his.  
  
"I know." He answered slowly. He tensed, afraid of what the man might say next.  
  
The glow of the fire illuminated pale man's face, reflecting in his eyes. Harry scanned them for any sort of emotion. Surely there was some sort of fear.  
  
He was surprised when Severus' lips met his, a deft hand lightly touching the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. He whimpered softly, not realizing it until Severus pulled back.  
  
"Are you okay?" He asked, concern etched on his face.  
  
Harry's face turned red. "I'm fine." He whispered.  
  
Severus was shocked at his own actions. Yet his conscience wasn't haunting him this time. He couldn't deny he found the boy very attractive, it would be no chore to shag him. The decision to kiss Harry had been sudden. Just minutes before he'd been ready to hold a grudge, something the Gryffindor seemed incapable of doing, now he had expressed tenderness for said Gryffindor. He supposed it was a consequence of the bond. He also supposed that didn't matter.  
  
Harry was flushed, his eyes averted.  
  
"Harry," The name slipped from his lips too easily. "You may share my bed if it will prepare you for what is to come." It was an offer he had to make. Whether for preparation or his own selfish desires.  
  
However the response was unexpected. "I have nightmares." Potter's gaze was fixed on the fire, seemingly determined to avoid him.  
  
Snape pondered over what the correct reply was meant to be. "You are worried about... disturbing me?"  
  
"Well, it's a little-"  
  
"I don't mind." He cut Harry off. He had his own nightmares, it did not bother him that Harry Potter had them too. In a way, it made the young man more human and less of a brat. Severus knew nightmares were not childish things.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Severus nodded. It was progress. Progress felt good.  
  
End Chapter 12. 


	13. Chapter 13

So far: Hermione's gotten over her prejudice (with the help of the elusive Draco Malfoy), Ron is acting mature (for once!), Lucius Malfoy has swapped sides, Severus and Harry have until Sunday evening (evening assumed) to go at it. Harry has been excused from class, so he's not been in class for the past week. He will begin back on Monday. Harry and Sev have been in the same bed twice (once drunk, does anyone want to hear what happened then?).  
  
UN-BETA'D as of yet.  
  
Unwanted or Improper - Chapter 13  
  
0-0  
  
Constancy - Steadfastness, as in purpose or affection; faithfulness. Changelessness.  
  
0-0  
  
Harry had never before woken up with someone else in his bed. Even when he and Snape had somehow passed out in this very room, Harry had missed out on the opportunity to open his eyes and feel the weight of another body next to his. He decided he liked it. The lines on Severus' face did not make him look old. Weary and jaded, maybe, but not old. Watching the man sleeping almost made him forget the spy could be so cruel. Almost. Harry knew he was in bed with a man who had murdered in numbers unimaginable to him. Somehow it didn't bother him as much as it would of if he had not been so comfortably pressed against the professor's hips, grateful he could not feel a bulge and slightly disappointed all the same.  
  
Harry heard the slow breathing change and tucked his head into the other's shoulder. He wanted to do it before Severus changed his mind about this whole thing. As he evened his breath he felt the man wake, moving slightly. There was a moment when Harry was sure Severus would push his burden off but there was only silence. Then still. A warm feeling settled over him.  
  
"No nightmares, I trust?" The near inaudible whisper caught him unawares. It didn't sound uncertain, or uncomfortable, very Snape still. But that was okay, Harry was beginning to think he liked Snape being Snape-like. He was still coming to terms with it.  
  
"Slept like a log." He replied, a smile creeping onto his face as he realized it was the truth.  
  
"Then that is settled." Harry did not inquire as to what was settled, he just basked in the rare warmth and wondered if was accepting his fate too docilely.  
  
0-0  
  
"So there's nothing wrong?"  
  
"That's the point. I woke up next to him and NOTHING was wrong. That's not normal for me, Hermione, it's not normal!"  
  
Hermione smiled at him in a smug, infuriating manner. "Well you're bonded to him, right? In a moment where you might have panicked, his closeness suffocated the anxiety."  
  
"He smiled at me before I came to see you!"  
  
"Professor Snape smiled?" Harry thought he might have side-tracked Hermione's argument for a second, she sounded genuinely surprised, but he was mistaken. "That would've been because of you, you're a good influence, Harry!"  
  
Harry stared at her. "I don't think you understand," He began slowly. "This morning was like a dream. No arguments. No nasty comments. No sneer. It wasn't normal!"  
  
"Like you said, since when is anything normal with you? Besides, it's probably just the euphoria due to the bond."  
  
"What?" Harry hadn't a clue what she was talking about and it showed on his face.  
  
"Have you even read a book about bonding, Harry?" Hermione's disbelieving tone made him worry.  
  
"I skimmed one!" Harry defended himself. There was that book. Soulmates- something or another.  
  
She sighed. "This is important, Harry. There must be so much stuff you're not prepared for."  
  
"It's not a test, you know."  
  
"It is Snape." She warned him.  
  
Harry had been surprised to see how easily Hermione was coming to terms with the whole thing. It had been backwards from the beginning, of course, with Ron instantly accepting and Hermione radiating hate. It was unexpected and Harry hated the unexpected.  
  
Harry had yet to have a proper introduction with Malfoy, the Slytherin had apparently been the applying force behind Hermione's shift of thinking. Hermione kept asking and Harry kept refusing. He wasn't ready, he told her. He wasn't sure he wouldn't fight, he said. But Harry wasn't telling the whole truth. In all honesty he was afraid. He was terrified. His life had gone totally haywire just a few days after the beginning of school. He'd been excused from classes for over a week, something Hermione fretted about. The Dursleys were six feet under. He'd been sleeping in the same bed as his most hated professor. He was going to lose his virginity in three days. If Malfoy couldn't stay the same then all constancy was gone.  
  
Harry admitted that was a little silly but couldn't stop the terror all the same.  
  
"So, Draco says he wouldn't mind if you joined us in Hogsmeade..." The hopeful and suggestive tone made Harry cringe.  
  
'Us'? Since when had Ron, Hermione and Draco become an 'us'?  
  
Harry knew he was being absurd. But an 'us'? What was he now?  
  
He was Snape's. The thought made Harry start in surprise. It was what his life was evolving about. No classes, no quidditch practice (Harry had missed three, much to the distaste of Ron, who made Captain), no distractions. Again, he was pulled back into his issue of constancy. It annoyed him.  
  
"Snape... and I... are spending the weekend together." Harry regretted the sentence as soon as it escaped his mouth.  
  
The only good thing that came out of it was the delight on Hermione's face. "Really? That's great!"  
  
It wasn't such a good thing, it turned out, because Harry felt dreadful for lying to her.  
  
"Before... you know... I'm back to school."  
  
The subject of school distracted her, as expected. "Have you finished your essays?"  
  
He nodded, relieved she didn't want to discuss the weekend. He realized what he'd just answered and shook his head in the negative. "Sorry, no, I haven't had time."  
  
For the first time, in light of reporting undone homework, the disapproval in Hermione's eyes was only mild.  
  
0-0  
  
Friday evening found Harry sitting in the comfortable armchair opposite the fire, a position he'd been occupying often as of late. He closed his eyes. Three days. Sunday. Two, really. A panic struck him as he realized he had two nights.  
  
"Mr. Potter," The terse tone made Harry turn quickly. Severus was standing behind him. "There will be no repeats of last night." The words hit Harry like a club to the chest. He stared as the dark eyes of his bond-mate flashed. The man retreated to his private potions lab and shut the door, the sharp echoing of the wood expressing what words could not.  
  
It took a few seconds for the stunned Harry to find his tongue. "Except when you fuck me, you mean?!"  
  
"Language, Potter!"  
  
Harry almost exploded. The man was reproaching him for that, when he was being so unreasonable! "I'm serious! What do you want from me, Snape?!"  
  
Severus re-emerged looking ruffled.  
  
"Potter, understand, I did not ask for any of this!"  
  
Harry shook his head uncomprehendingly. "Do you think I did? If you don't want me, fine, but I'm not going to die because of it!"  
  
That seemed to calm the other man down. The tall Potions Master looked so lost and the foreign expression made him almost unrecognizable.  
  
"Understandable." Snape nodded once. "Do not believe I do not... want... you. You are... attractive... but you are sixteen and my student. It is morally wrong. I certainly do not like you as a person, I will not deny that, but that will come in time if we are in luck."  
  
"We only have the rest of your life." Harry smiled weakly. "Or would it be mine, considering... ?" He asked as an afterthought.  
  
"I would hope it is mine." Harry did too. It was yet another thing bothering him. He'd accepted that his life would be shortened because of the bond, but would he die when he faced Voldemort? Now that someone else's life was handcuffed to him, he really wished Voldemort didn't exist at all, that he and Snape could've got on under different circumstances.  
  
"The Ministry will have kittens over this." Snape remarked quietly.  
  
"It will be all over the Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly!" Harry groaned.  
  
"I will receive howlers."  
  
"By Monday breakfast the entire Wizarding world will know." Harry had always been in awe of how fast news spread Hogwarts, reporters would be fully informed within hours of the announcement Dumbledore had offered to make (It had actually been more Dumbledore politely -informing- them of the announcement).  
  
It would effectively end Snape's spying, thankfully Malfoy would step into that place, Harry wondered if Malfoy Junior had a clue.  
  
"It will allow us to end our exile, dine in the Great Hall." Severus pointed out. They'd been nearly totally confined to Snape's rooms until after they'd finished bonding.  
  
"More like brief appearances, driven away by the stares and whispers."  
  
"Shooed away from our meals by gossips, I think not, Potter. If it comes to that we will give them something to gossip about until their tongues shrivel."  
  
"The look on Malfoy's face." Harry smirked.  
  
"Minerva's would be much more entertaining, I should think."  
  
They both laughed at the thought. Laughing appeared to change the professor immensely. Made him look more relaxed, pleasant and younger. Harry liked the change but knew it wasn't in the man's nature to laugh often. Though he had learned sarcasm could extract such a response.  
  
An sorrowful look broke the previously joyful mood on Snape's face. It wasn't fleeting like the other short moments Harry had seen such an expression from Snape.  
  
"What happened to Severus and Harry?" He asked. "We cannot even bring ourselves to name each other properly and I am to bed you in two days."  
  
"We're not really trying that hard, are we?"  
  
"It confuses our images of one another, creating mixed emotions, which neither of us are dealing very well with." Snape looked uncomfortable admitting it. "If we must mull over every single interaction that would formerly be unusual then we would be mulling for an eternity more."  
  
"Ron reminds me of you lately." Harry suddenly said.  
  
Harry could tell he did not find the idea pleasant. "Maybe Mr. Weasley is finally growing up."  
  
Harry found those few words quite accurate. It was a pretty decent explanation for Ron. "I just want to know why." Harry sighed. "I'm worried."  
  
"No doubt he is also worried for you. Perhaps you should discuss this with him"  
  
Harry nodded. Severus was right. He should bring this up with Ron.  
  
Harry fiddled with the edge of the chair. He yawned. It was getting late. "Can I... well, I mean to say..." Harry stumbled over the question.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Thank you." He replied, relieved. He wasn't even sure why he asked.  
  
0-0  
  
"Kill the spare."  
  
Harry lifted his wand. "Avada Kedavra."  
  
"Murderer," Hissed his mother, his own green eyes sparking at him.  
  
"Filth," James Potter glared at him accusingly.  
  
Cho's wailing pierced his mind. Anguish.  
  
His parents morphed into Ron and Hermione.  
  
"You killed us, Harry." They mournfully gazed at him. "You've killed us all."  
  
"It's your fault, Harry, you didn't save us." The people from his visions closed around him.  
  
"Why did you kill us, Harry?"  
  
"Why, Harry?"  
  
"Harry."  
  
"Harry!"  
  
Harry sat straight up, panting. He looked around wildly and groped for his glasses.  
  
They were placed in his clammy hands.  
  
"It was a nightmare," A soft voice reassured him. "Nothing more."  
  
"I know," Harry murmured. "I know."  
  
Still breathing heavily, he lay back down.  
  
"Do you usually become dangerously cold while having nightmares?" Snape's voice in the dark came from beside him.  
  
"I don't know." He answered, rolling to face the voice.  
  
Harry didn't want to close his eyes.  
  
An arm slipped over his shoulders and pulled him close.  
  
Harry tensed.  
  
Severus didn't say anything.  
  
Harry began to relax.  
  
0-0  
  
End of Chapter 13  
  
Thanks to: SidheLady (I haven't been licked by a reviewer before... :D)  
Infinite13, potts, Andie (oops), reviewer of summaries, Sandalino Silvio Leif, Every Now And Then, sparkin, Jimaine, Dius Corvus, Amanda Saitou, Tazthedevilman, Clara Clog, The-Magnificent-Fuzzy (I'll think about it), peacockgal17 (it'll come, I promise, it'll just take a while), oOWeasleyWizardWheezesOo, Teldra, Potrickterman, Yuuki Miyahara, DaughterofDeath, Elven Warrior1, Alynna Lis Eachann, Blah, ataraxis, NatalieJ, Arch-Nemesis, wintermoon2, The Little Swimmy Dudette, americanpie, Kateri1, Pilas, shiroiryu144, C.M Aeris Queen of Insanity, Beautiful Tenshi, HecateDeMort (sure, I'll start), TheSecretCharacter, Shick, Awen, im-a-daydream-believer, athenakitty, daredcrescent and Lady Lightning. 


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks to: Danu3, Takuto-kun, futagoakuma-tenshi02, thesecretcharacter, Lydia Blue, Awen, ShadoweGoddess, Lady Darkness13, Seraphccuse, Teldra, cerulean-rhapsody, Kateri1, HecateDeMort, Asha Ice (I'm afraid you're going to have to hold out for a while longer on the slashy action), Chantelli (see previous short note), Every Now And Then, aikidobrat, DaughterofDeath, Arch-Nemesis (and they will continue to have many issues), eyes0nme19, chin5cai, brokentoy19, Alynna Lis Eachann, snowlight144, doublestar (I'm continuing after), ataraxis, penny, roz, Lady Lightening, SidheLady, im-a-daydream-believer (I fixed that) and Wildfire2. 

kestral-girl: Wow. Long review. Okay, I'll try to address the issues you brought up. Firstly: Hermione. I actually can't give you an insight on her at the moment unless I do a companion piece (which I think I might, actually). You'll sort of see why. Maybe I could. I'll look into it. Secondly: Sev is moody. I promise to delve more into that. I'm sure there's something I've missed but you can ask in the next review (pointed look). Thanks for your review!

Amanda Saitou: Rush things? I'm well known for dragging it out, I think. In fact, my reviewers might maul me soon. Thank you!

Special thanks go to Gorman99, after all, she's the reason I updated.

Chapter 14

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Backtrack- To return to a previous point or subject, to go back over the course by which one has come.

0-0

When Harry woke, his palms were clammy and his mouth parched. He swallowed several times. His harsh breaths broke the silence. It was then he realized his head wasn't resting on a pillow but the hard chest of one Severus Snape. He stayed as still as possible.

Harry wondered whether to die of embarrassment then or later. Yet he was reluctant to move. Partly because the other man's arm was slung around his waist and partly because he admitted to himself that he rather liked the feeling. And hoped Severus wouldn't go moody like he did the afternoon before. He also knew that hope was futile because Snape seemed to be moody by nature.

Harry then let his mind wander back to the nightmare. It was different than the usual ones he had. It had begun with himself in a dark hallway. There were screams and shouts. Green. Footsteps. Then he was being chased. He had to get away. He was caught. Slammed into the wall. The hand dug into his shoulder. Harry cleared his throat as quietly as possible. He couldn't rid himself of the feeling of dread.

He dressed silently. He took one last glance back at the sleeping man before creeping to breakfast.

0-0

Harry walked with Ron to the Gryffindor Common Room. He needed to talk to his friend about something that had been troubling him.

He wasn't sure how to begin the conversation. "So, Ron... how are you?"

"I'm okay, a bit behind on my assignments though." Ron gave him a sheepish smile.

Harry nodded. "What's been eating you?" He thought it sounded harmless enough.

Ron cast his eyes aside. "Nothing."

"You've been acting strange." Harry insisted, surprised by Ron's neutral tone.

"Everyone has issues, Harry, I'm just trying to figure something out." He sounded more impassioned this time and Harry was relieved, but at the same time the unnerving answer made him feel uneasy.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, mate, why don't we go find Hermione?"

"No, what do you mean? And don't try to change the subject." Harry wanted to address this strange dilemma right then.

Ron looked stressed, he glanced away several times, avoiding Harry's eyes. "Merlin, Harry, I can't explain it."

He opened his mouth and closed it, a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Is there anything I can do?"

There was a poignant pause. Harry thought he should have been able to read his friend but he couldn't. "I don't want to talk about it." Ron finally said, a stony edge to his tone.

"Fine." Harry breathed out angrily. "Fine." He repeated, quieter this time.

0-0

The confrontation with Ron was fruitless and left Harry feeling unsettled. He had been in the library since. He'd even skipped lunch. He was surprised he didn't come across Hermione, that was where he'd assumed she was earlier.

He finally decided to go down to Snape's chambers and maybe talk, he hadn't seen Severus since he'd woken up, now that it was Saturday, Harry was feeling the strangle-hold constrict.

On his way he encountered someone he was entirely ready to see. At first he was going to walk straight on past but something struck him. Something that had been buried behind all the junk going on in his life, ever since their encounter a few days back.

"Malfoy?"

"What, Potter?" Malfoy growled, but Harry didn't think the blond was actually annoyed.

"A few days ago, we ran into each other in the dungeons," Malfoy showed no recognition. "You called Hermione a mudblood." He prompted.

Malfoy nodded. "Get on with it." He said impatiently.

"You called Cedric, Cedric."

There was a silence. "That's his name, what was I meant to call him?"

Harry found himself not wanting to offend his rival. "Well, it's just that you call almost everybody by their last name, even Hermione sometimes, from what Ron says."

"It's none of your business. You killed the Hufflepuff, why do you care?" A shiver ran over Harry at the words.

"I did not kill Cedric." His teeth were gritted painfully. He couldn't stand Malfoy's patronizing smirk. He stormed past the blond.

0-0

Harry dropped into the chair he'd become increasingly attached to. His irritation might've faded if Snape hadn't spoken.

"You are to stay in your own bed tonight. Do not venture out of your room for any reason." Through the caution Harry felt the tiredness he'd been haunted by.

"You're so fucking unpredictable." Harry groaned. The day had been grueling and after coming back here, his nerves were frayed to their edge.

"Watch your language, do not disrespect me." Snape warned.

"Like you respect me," Harry muttered.

Severus glared but didn't comment.

"Fine. Whatever."

Obviously 'whatever' wasn't courteous enough for Snape, as the man waited, expectantly

"Yes, sir."

"Don't call me 'sir'." Came the immediate response. Snape said 'sir' like it was a sour taste. Harry supposed it was. He knew that Snape did not appreciate the idea of having sex with a sixteen year old.

Harry thought maybe he would never quite satisfy Snape. That brought another thing to mind.

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

Snape looked put out by the sudden question. "We are to be bonded." He answered, clearly knowing it wasn't the reply the boy was looking for.

"Yeah, but do you actually _want _to?" Harry's voice was choked as he realized that the question was going to bring a lot more trouble than it was worth.

"Potter-"

"Harry."

"Harry, understand, I am your professor."

"I thought we were over that, Snape-"

Something in Snape seemed to have hardened in a familiar fashion. "Severus." He corrected mockingly.

"Damn you!" Harry leaned back, frustrated. "It's like one step forward and five hundred back!"

Snape just scowled.

Harry clutched the armrest. "I hate you!"

"In kind, Potter."

Harry stood so violently the chair flew backward. Without any further remarks to Snape, he stalked out of the room, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles were white.

The corridors of the dungeons seemed to laugh at him as he walked past the place where he had seen Malfoy moments before.

He shook his head and continued up to the Great Hall for dinner. He wasn't eager on facing Ron after their earlier 'discussion'. He had to get away from Snape. And seeing Hermione might calm him. She appeared to be the only person not mad at him for some reason or another.

He slipped in-between Seamus and Hermione, grateful for the warm smile he received from the brown-haired girl.

"How are you?" She asked, after swallowing.

"Not so great." He admitted. He caught the movement from next to the teacher's table. Snape. He glared.

"Professor Snape?" Hermione asked, following his gaze.

"You could say that."

Snape's obsidian, emotionless eyes met his. Harry shuddered at a sudden wisp in the back of his mind. He felt a sharp sting of vindictiveness. He spread his left hand out on the table.

"Harry?" Hermione sounded concerned.

Harry held the Potion Master's stare. With his free hand he picked up the knife for the chicken.

He heard the shocked gasp from Hermione as he drove it through the center of his palm. In hindsight, Harry knew it wasn't worth it. The pain was incredible. In hindsight, Harry wondered what on earth made him do it. But right at that moment he just hissed.

Out of the corner of his vision, he could see Snape. He looked closer. The man's mouth had thinned to a line.

Hermione was saying something, he knew she was, but he was too focused on his hand to hear it. Everyone around him seemed to have unfrozen and were gathering around him.

"Move aside," Came the stern voice of the Gryffindor Head of House.

"Mr. Potter, what possessed you to do such a thing?" She asked as she cast a spell Harry didn't know.

He exhaled quickly. The knife was on the table. It was bloody. The blood welled on the table.

He felt McGonagall help him up. He let her lead him out of the hall. He could hear the whispers from the students follow him.

_"Someone tried to murder him."_

_"He stabbed himself."_

_"He missed the chicken."_

_"He tried to kill himself,"_ Harry would've scoffed at that one, if he had been composed enough to do so.

0-0

Madame Pomfrey shook her head. "Mr. Potter, how do these things always happen to you?"

The nurse examined his hand and he just wished she'd do something about it. Whatever pain Snape had felt didn't make up for this.

She gave him a foul-tasting potion (though Harry wouldn't expect anything else from her). The pain faded and Harry sighed in relief. He watched as his hand knitted together.

"I expect Professor McGonagall will be wanting a full explanation but that will have to wait, you are staying here overnight."

"It's fine now though!"

"Nevertheless, it was strange..." She muttered. "Besides, if I let you leave now, you will probably be here again tomorrow morning with something other malady."

Harry was going to protest more before he remembered he really had nothing to go back to anyway. He settled into the bed that he was sure had a more comfortable mattress than the others.

0-0

An hour later, Harry was drifting off when he heard shouting. Fear washed over him as he recalled the dream he'd had last night.

"Get all the students... organized... don't let them..."

Harry could only hear bits of the cries.

His head exploded in pain. He knew what it meant.

He stumbled forward through it.

Outside the Hospital Wing were people. Prefects.

"What's happening?" He grabbed one as she ran past him.

"Death Eaters," She breathed, worry and terror displayed on her features.

There was a flash of green to his right. A body crumbled.

Harry's heart skipped a beat.

The prefect next to him grabbed his hand and ran. Harry put up no resistance. "We have to get all the students to the Common Rooms. The professors will hold them off."

"No," Harry pulled out of her grasp. "I have to help."

She called after him but he shot back to the Infirmary.

Dumbledore had said the attack wouldn't be for ages yet! A month at least! There were two spies, in the inner ranks of the Death Eaters, surely either Snape or Malfoy would have some clue.

Snape's words! He'd told Harry to stay in bed, not to move. So he'd known! Harry skidded to a stop. He'd known!

Harry shook his head in wonderment. Snape was a traitor?

Shadows shifted.

"Potter." A black-garbed figure stood in front of him. Harry gulped. He reached for his wand.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." The Death Eater told him.

"The professors will be here any second." His hand inched toward his wand.

"I said: I wouldn't do that if I were you." The man slammed him into the wall. He tried to wriggle out but the Death Eater had a hard grip on his shoulder.

"The Master will be very eager to see you, Potter, very happy."

There was a strong tug on his navel. Harry felt like he was going to be sick.

0-0

Harry fell to his knees when his feet once again touched solid ground. He heaved.

"I see portkeys aren't your favourite method of travel. Never mind, young Potter, I never liked them either."

Harry noticed the voice had changed. He was confused.

"I thought you were a man," He sounded hoarse.

She laughed, a cruel edge to the tone.

"Vocal masking spells. Six years at Hogwarts and you have learned nothing?"

Her wand was still trained on him. He struggled to stand, through the pain in his head, which had been absent momentarily but had now returned with a vengeance.

She muttered a binding spell. He winced as his hands were locked together.

"Can't have you getting away, I'm enjoying your company."

"I'm flattered, really." He said sarcastically. Who was this woman?

She lowered her face to his ear. He flinched away in disgust.

"I want to hear you scream." She whispered.

She stepped away, a sick smile gracing her face.

She lifted her wand.

Harry felt himself trembling and struggled to suppress it.

"_Crucio_."

0-0


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Don't maul me! I hope this chapter is up to par and no one can say I didn't update fast! It's bloody long too! There shouldn't be too long of a wait until the next chapter. Not if I get some nice reviews (hint hint). 

Chapter 15

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Pain - Suffering or distress.

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The pain was excruciating. Through the sharp breaths Harry wondered if 'excruciating' was derived from the curse. Soon he was in no mind to think at all. Harry gritted his teeth, determined not to give in and scream, but after the curse had not let up in what felt like forever he could no longer prevent the sounds from escaping him. A great shame filled him as the woman laughed manically.

"You see, Potter? I can break you!" She crowed. Her words barely registered as she cut the Cruciatus off. He gasped in relief.

"Bella, yet again torturing a guest, don't kill him before the fun starts." A reprimanding and familiar voice warned. Harry choked when he saw the long, blond hair. Lucius Malfoy.

"My son will be very pleased to see you, Potter." The smug voice told him. Malfoy was supposed to be on the light side! Were he and Snape traitors twice over?

The fury overcame him. How could they? "Your son is-"

"Looking forward to tonight." His tone dangerous this time. He gave Harry a pointed look and, through the aftershock of the Cruciatus and the anger at Malfoy, Harry thought he'd better keep his mouth shut about all of that.

"The little bastard won't have the guts." He settled for. Fear was building as he played with the thought that in the case where he couldn't save himself he might not be rescued. He shoved the thought away. It wouldn't do to lose hope.

Harry was on his knees in front of two Death Eaters who appeared quite ready and able to torture him. He noticed that Malfoy's boots were embossed with gold. He thought they were quite flamboyant. Ostentatious, Snape would say. For what looked like a dungeon, the view from down there was impressive.

When Malfoy's steady hand touched his shoulder he realized he was shaking like a leaf. He couldn't control the reaction and he felt humiliated.

"Bella here is quite the expert on the Cruciatus curse, I'm sure you'll come to appreciate the skill under her tender care." Malfoy's thumb dug into his back almost reassuringly and, for all the nasty words and the fact that it was Lucius Malfoy, Harry thought that he might not be so done for after all.

When he saw the expression on 'Bella's face he had to work not to let that optimism fade.

0-0

Severus felt the pain of the Cruciatus without the '_crucio_'. He immediately knew that Harry had been taken. With a pang of conscience, which he ignored stubbornly, he occluded his mind. The effects of the curse disappeared. He had to find Dumbledore.

He worked his way through the masses. The older students were protecting the younger as the masked murderers picked them out one by one. Snape had been discreetly whisking away children to the Hogsmeade portkeys. The prefects were in charge of that, leading them in groups to the village. The professors were posted in different areas of the school, each armed with their wands and knowledge that if they were to fail, hundreds of students would die.

He stumbled across McGonagall. "Minerva!" He called, cursing the Death Eater coming at his side. Nott if he wasn't mistaken.

"Severus, how many of the children are still inside the castle?" The grey-haired woman's mouth was set in a grim line.

"One hundred at least. _Diffindo_" Nott cried out in pain. "Have you seen Potter?"

Her eyes widened. "They haven't... ?"

He rushing away before she could ask more. He heard her yell '_incarcerous_' and had to sidestep a bound Death Eater. Rookwood. He reproached himself for inattention.

After helping several Ravenclaws on the way to the Entrance Hall, he finally saw the Headmaster.

Dumbledore knocked out a Death Eater with what looked to be a particularly nasty curse. Mulciber, he noted with interest.

"Severus, their numbers seem to be decreasing, they are disapparating at an alarming rate. I fear they have found what they are looking for." He looked to Severus for confirmation.

"They have Potter." He affirmed.

"Have you any idea where?"

"I have heard nothing about a gathering point, as we were summoned to the Forbidden Forest that is where I would assume that is where they are apparating to, awaiting further direction."

The wards had collapsed late afternoon, shocking the entire teaching staff and urging Severus and Lucius to attention. The Death Eaters were summoned in full numbers to the Forbidden Forest, preventing evacuation from going as it would have were they forewarned of such attacks. The professors were forced to wait until all the Death Eaters had entered Hogwarts before they could get the students to safety.

Snape felt it particularly unnatural, apparating into Hogwarts, as he had been taught, right from when he had started at the school, that apparating and disapparating were impossible inside of the castle. Now that the wards had fallen, that had changed.

Severus had soon been forced to show his true colours in the face of Death Eaters and he knew he would not be accepted back into the ranks. He and Lucius had discussed this after the summoning.

"Lucius will have reported back to the Dark Lord. He should soon find a way to communicate with us shortly."

"Good, my boy, good." Severus had never seen Dumbledore look more old and more tired than he looked at that moment.

"_Impedimenta_." Snape gave an impatient flick of his wand. Goyle Snr.

"He is in pain." Snape mumbled.

Dumbledore, ever perceptive sent him a worried glance. "You can block the connection, such would be wise."

"I am. I am concerned for his sanity. It feels like Lestrange."

"She will not grant him mercy." Again in that fatigued tone.

"Lucius will fend for him, should it become necessary." His childhood friend had never lost his faith or his love. Apprehension for Lucius would have been paramount to his worry for Harry had his life not depended on the latter. Severus did not like to admit that the gap between the two was rapidly shrinking.

0-0

Draco had been beyond confused since the attack had begun. He hadn't heard anything from his father in months and all of a sudden, this? As estranged as they had been lately, he had not thought Lucius would neglect to tell him of such an important event. His first thought was of Hermione but the prefects had all been urged into action as the Death Eaters invaded their school, Draco took up his duties, evacuating the students as quickly and efficiently as possible. He kept a close eye out for her, he didn't know what he would do if something were to happen. Actually, he did, he'd kill the bastard who would hurt Hermione.

He was about to curse the approaching Death Eater but he called Draco by name. "Draco, you're to come with us, the Dark Lord has invited you especially."

He wanted to shove off the hand that had a grip on his upper arm but held back. He checked that the second years he had just instructed were running like he had told them to. They were. Faster than Potter had ever been on that Firebolt of his.

He followed Avery, though he jerked angrily out of the Death Eater's grasp, opting to use his own manpower to get wherever it was the short man was leading him. Only faith in Hermione's power and will stopped him from turning back to take her away from the battleground.

"Our Lord surprised us with his plans but he has broken past Dumbledore's wards and we have been ordered to collect Potter and kill the Headmaster." Avery told him, his voice low.

Kill the Headmaster? Was that maniac mad? He sent a few Death Eaters to kill the most powerful wizard alive? Draco could've laughed at the ridiculous notion. No doubt the Dark Lord had hidden motives.

"Collect Potter?" He went back to the most important point of the moment.

"His expressed clearly that Potter is to come back alive. We have just received the alert, Potter has been taken in." Draco was sure he was close to fainting. The Boy-Who-Lived. Soon to be the Boy-Who-Lived-No-Longer.

0-0

'Tonight' turned out to be a very long way away.

Bella was just was beautiful as her name suggested. Beautiful like a poisonous snake, Harry thought viciously. Malfoy was right, she did seem to specialize in the Cruciatus.

There were loud calls from somewhere in the dungeons. Harry couldn't make out what they were saying but the smirk on Bella's face said it all.

"Time for you to meet the Dark Lord, little Harry."

"I've met the sick fuck." He growled.

"Now, now, don't talk about our Lord that way, little Harry. I think we've gotten quite intimate," The word made Harry shudder. "You wouldn't want to ruin that by talking so badly of our master, would you?"

"He's not my master."

"_Crucio_." He should've been used to it now, he supposed, but he still writhed in agony. His throat was too shredded to scream and he was ashamed to hear his own whimpers every now and then.

All he felt was a profound sense of relief as she cast a binding spell on him.

"_Mobilicorpus_." He felt his body involuntarily levitate. He tried to relax and save his strength for Voldemort.

He watched the ceiling as it moved past him. Or was it him moving past the ceiling? His thoughts were muddled as he moderated his breathing to accommodate for what felt like broken ribs. He didn't even remember how it had happened. His left ankle was throbbing. Sprained, maybe?

"Almost there, little Harry." She whispered in his ear. He wished she wouldn't call him that.

Something nearly as biting as his injuries was the cold. He didn't know where they were but he felt like his blood had run cold.

Finally they reached a large room. Bella let the levitation go. He dropped, rather ungracefully, to the ground, once again on his knees. Harry's eyes had closed of their own accord and he wasn't quite ready to open them. The murmurs of excitement and anticipation did nothing good for his growing dread.

"Our guest of honor has arrived," A voice lorded above the mutters. Harry recognized it immediately. "Welcome, Harry Potter."

He opened his eyes.

He was kneeling in front of the man who had slaughtered his parents and Cedric Diggory. The hatred he felt was indescribable. He dragged himself to his feet, despite his body protesting violently.

Voldemort stepped up to him and his arm snapped out to hold Harry's wrist tightly. Harry tried to yank his arm away, disgusted by the monster's touch.

He touched Harry's palm lightly.

"Gone, I see." His delighted tone made Harry jump. What was Voldemort talking about?

Harry started back when Voldemort laughed. It didn't sound pleasant like Snape's laugh had, it sounded twisted.

"You didn't think you could do that yourself, did you?" The knife! Harry remembered, it seemed so far away now. "My precious child, my hated enemy, I can see right through you." This said so quietly that Harry doubted even the closest Death Eaters could hear him say it. The words revolted Harry and terrified him at the same time. He mustered up all the legendary Gryffindor courage he could find.

"Fuck you, Tom Riddle." He spat in the man's face.

He hit the ground so quickly he could've blinked and missed the in-between. He scrambled backwards. His jaw ached.

"Dolohov, MacNair, here is your reward for your loyalty to the cause."

The two Death Eaters moved in. Harry stumbled back but hands pushed him forward.

"The Boy-Who-Lived, there's no one to protect you now, is there, Potter?" One of them sneered.

"_Crucio_."

Harry suffered the familiar curse once more. His mind wasn't mush though. He thought it was not as strong in intensity as Bella's had been. Harry thanked God for small favours. Harry collapsed as MacNair cut off the curse. The laughter was loud and vibrant. Harry thought it sounded as if he was in a party. It was a shame he was the entertainment.

"How did you like that, Potter?" Doholov moved toward him and Harry flinched away. Doholov kicked him in the chest. Harry wheezed in his next breath, his cheek resting on the stone-cold floor.

"Did you know that James Potter killed my brother?" His father had killed someone?

The Death Eater pulled him up. "I'm going to kill you for what you did to him."

"I didn't..." Harry tried to breathe. "...do anything..." He coughed. "...to him!"

"Liar!" Doholov shoved him into MacNair's arms.

"_Perfigo_!" He yelled. Harry cried out. His shoulder burned like someone had shoved a hot fire poker right through it. He looked down. He closed his eyes and moaned. There was a hole. In his shoulder.

Doholov laughed and all the sheep laughed alongside him.

"Enough!" They were silenced by Voldemort. MacNair dropped Harry and backed away. "Who shall be next?" Just as Harry was bracing himself there was movement in the crowd.

"Leave him!" A firm command from a man on Harry's left. He knew the voice.

The owner of the voice stood beside him, his wand drawn. Harry wondered if he and Draco might be friends after this disaster was over. Part of Harry reminded himself that after the 'disaster' was over, he might very well be dead.

"Young Mr. Malfoy..." Voldemort gestured to his minions to put down their wands. "I wonder what your father would say about this. Lucius."

Lucius Malfoy stepped up. He stalked towards the two boys. "His father would say,"

He paused as he reached them. He looked like he would strike his son.

The tall man pulled Harry to his feet.

He put a hand on Draco's shoulder.

"He was very proud."

There was a tug on Harry's navel and he was gone.

0-0

Distinct words breached Harry's consciousness. _"How long... Bellatrix Lestrange... spies... proud of you both... impulse control..."_

"What-" Harry cut himself off with a groan. His head was pounding.

"Good, you're awake." Lucius Malfoy was leaning over him. "Do you have a headache?"

"Excruciating... cruciating..." Harry murmured.

"Here is a potion, can you swallow?"

Harry tried. His throat felt like he'd been swallowing knives. Knives. He flexed his hand.

"Voldemort, in my head." He remembered what his enemy had told him.

"Drink the potion, Harry."

"Are you going to poison me?" He asked, tiredly.

"No, this is for your headache."

Harry searched his memory. "Why do I have a headache?"

Lucius shook his head. "Trauma. After-effects of the Cruciatus."

"And you hit your head on the way in. Stubborn idiot won't admit his portkey was badly placed." Draco. Harry knew his voice. A memory drifted past. _"Leave him!"_

"Misjudged." Silky voice.

"I'm kind of fuzzy." Harry searched for the grey eyes.

"Fuzzy?" The silky voice asked.

"Silky."

"I think we'd better get him to Hogwarts right now." Worried. Draco.

0-0

Draco felt his center of balance move. He put all his effort into standing. He heard the thud and winced.

"What the hell possessed you to put the arrival here?" He looked around his father's study before staring disdainfully at the huge desk which Potter had successfully brained himself with.

Lucius scowled at his son. "It was an appropriate place."

Draco laughed. It was mostly nervous energy, Lucius noticed.

"Father, Potter's in a bad shape." He tried to lift the black-haired boy and was surprised by how little he weighed.

"Do you think I don't know that?" Lucius snapped.

Together they managed to get him to the nearest bedroom. The furnishings were aristocratic and expensive, not the type of things you would spill blood on but neither of the blonds appeared to care just then.

Draco examined his school rival. Potter did not seem to be aware of it but he was shaking violently. "How long did Bellatrix Lestrange have him?"

"Far, far too long." Lucius cast a spell, slowing down the blood flow from Potter's shoulder. The boy was deadly pale against the black of the bed-coverings.

"So you're a traitor?" Draco asked casually.

Lucius stiffened. "A spy, yes. A recent development, believe me, I have not had the time to inform you of such."

"You mean you didn't know how." Draco observed characteristically.

"That also." Lucius nodded. "It's not as if it matters anymore. I'm no longer useful as a spy. We have no spies left in his inner circle."

"I really don't think that matters at the moment." Draco searched the draws for the potion. It kept so they always had one or two in every room. His hand connected with glass.

"Found it."

"I am proud of you." His father said.

Draco held the potion up. Still the right consistency. "I would be proud of him." He looked at the figure on the bed.

"I'm proud of you both. You do need to practice some impulse control though, Draco." He reproached. "That performance could've gotten you both killed."

"No one was doing anything, much less you father. Would you rather Potter died before you act?" Draco let his anger seep into his tone.

"I would've done what I could." Lucius said sharply.

"Here's the potion, I'm going to check the wards."

Lucius watched his son go, concerned. Was he ruining his family?

There was a shift on the bed that caught his attention.

Lucius observed James Potter's son. He was a small boy, Lucius wondered whose genes those were, both Lily and James Potter had been tall, unusually so.

"What-" The boy woke and thought twice about speaking.

0-0

"Do we know Hogwarts is safe?"

Draco shrugged and took his father's place by Potter's side. "I don't know but he needs help now."

Lucius sent one last glance down at the squinting Potter before grabbing the floo powder. "Albus Dumbledore's office."

He stuck his head into the fire. "Albus, is the school cleared?"

"We have the castle secured. We have contacted the ministry, the aurors have arrived."

"We have Potter, we will be arriving shortly. He is in need of medical attention."

"Be careful."

Lucius ducked out.

"We will have to apparate him there." He told his son. "I will take him. You go now. Arrival point outside the gates."

Draco disapparated.

Lucius gathered Potter into his arms. Lucius was thankful, Potter was confused but silent. "I am so very sorry." He whispered in Harry's ear. He disapparated with the boy safely clinging to his chest.

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	16. Chapter 16

Everyone was suspicious of the last line, but I just put it in there so I could smile dreamily over Lucius being human. 

Should I have a mailing list for this or start a Yahoo group or something? That way I could contact you all when I update this.

Thanks to: Alynna Lis Eachann, debz (I wouldn't do that), Yulara, selena123, Blood-Red Pearl, sesshyluver03, BlackRaven13, Katie Lupin Black (the comment on Harry's size is just my hate of the Dursleys showing through - malnutrition and all that, about the sex - look below), juliedecarson, Klondike Bar, Nichalia, thesecretcharacter, Sh'arra Rie, The Minstrel, Astrea Von Hurston, penny, Awen, Beautiful Tenshi, Snaketalker, Lydia Blue, Jimaine, Amanda Saitou, Lady Darkness13, xikum, SidheLady, SabrinaD, brokentoy19, Lady Lightning (yes! You noticed!), purple paper, rosiegirl, Hyouden, Kateri1, Arch-Nemesis, HecateDeMort, CannonFodder, Danu3, im-a-daydream-believer and kestral-girl.

Harry and Sev's sex-by-next-week thing: Remember, the attack appears to have happened early... the reason they were to have sex was to boost Harry's chances of winning in a confrontation on homeground. The question is - is there no longer a point?

Boost me up to 400 reviews and I'll love you all forever!

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CHAPTER 16

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Tenderness - a tendency to express warm and affectionate feeling

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Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolutions.  
Kahlil Gibran

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Severus hurried to the Hospital Wing. They had received the firecall from Lucius just moments before. Albus would meet them at the gate and direct the two Malfoys and Potter straight to Poppy. Severus himself needed a potion from the Infirmary to abate the pain from his broken wrist. It was closer than his stores and he needed to see Harry. He scorned his own inability to block the bone breaking spell, delivered by Nott to his right arm. Clever man.

He arrived at his destination at the same time as the rabid Black. Severus would usually have used some choice insult and pushed past the man, but the hysterical tinge in Black's eyes put him off right away and he said nothing. He commended himself for letting the other go first.

Seeing Harry on the bed was almost more than he could handle. He let down the shield he had up for a moment and cringed. The boy had just regained consciousness, it seemed, and was gasping for breath through the pain. Black was looking horrified at his godson's condition, shouting at Lucius for his incompetence. Severus could say he quite agreed, though he would deny it later, Harry was looking like he'd been dragged through hell and back several times. Almost as pale as himself, his partner was shaking like a leaf, blood was gushing from his shoulder and his face was bruised.

"... broken ribs." He heard Poppy finish off her list of Potter's ailments.

He watched in silence as Poppy clotted the blood in his shoulder and began it knitting itself up. The wound looked disgusting and Severus wondered who had cast what looked to be a piercing spell. The result was a small Muggle bullet-sized hole that punctured straight through.

"The prolonged exposure to the Cruciatus curse is my largest worry." Poppy said with a frown. Long ago Potter had passed out again, he wasn't there to hear the anxiety clear in Poppy's voice. Severus felt a shiver run down his spine as he thought of Harry being like the Longbottoms.

Albus had stood quietly in the corner up until that moment.

"I think everyone should settle in my office for the moment, Harry will be fine with Madame Pomfrey." Severus could see Black ready to disagree but Albus stopped him with a raised hand. "Sirius, Harry will not be conscious for a few hours yet, I would imagine." He looked to Poppy for confirmation.

Madame Pomfrey nodded. "I am going to wake him in three hours to check on his mental state, then I will see where we go from there." Black blanched at the words 'mental state' but managed not to start screaming again. Severus was particularly concerned over the statement also, though he hid it much better.

He, Black and both the Malfoys, followed Albus to his office, all subdued.

0-0

Draco really didn't know what to think. Everything was hugely confusing and unbelievable. Of course, he was incredibly grateful that he did not have to make the decision between his father and Hermione. Still, it didn't make any sense and he was slightly suspicious of Lucius. He knew first hand how insanely manipulative his father was.

"How long was Harry with Bellatrix Lestrange?" Was Dumbledore's first question after offering them all lemon drops, which were refused with thinly veiled disdain from both Malfoys and impatience from Snape and Black.

"Approximately five hours." Draco looked to his father as he answered and was surprised to see something masked in his face. He wasn't saying something. What was it?

Immediately Snape's hands reached to cover his face and Draco sympathized. If it were Hermione he'd be completely out of it. He remembered how he'd felt when his girlfriend had first told him about the two. He'd first wondered if he and Hermione could have the same thing and then wondered if they'd want it, considering the strings attached. When it sunk in, though, he'd been practically frozen in disbelief at the thought of Potter and Snape. Professor Snape, who Draco was allowed to refer to as Severus but not during school, was one of the hardest and most bitter men Draco knew. He did tend to favour Draco in his own way but Lucius had told his son how difficult the dark-haired man found relationships. He could not imagine one between the Boy-Who-Lived and the Hogwarts Potion Master.

Black's reaction was more verbal and the chair hit the wall with a surprisingly loud 'crack'. Dumbledore moved to calm him quickly, silencing him and immobilizing him in a new chair, removing the remains of the original. Draco found himself admiring the old man's cool control over the situation.

"Did Voldemort mention anything about Legilimency?" Was the next question and Draco wondered why he was even there.

Lucius looked pensive but shook his head. Something came to the front of Draco's mind and he waited to see if his father would say anything before speaking up.

"He said something strange after Potter came in." Everyone focused on him. "He touched Potter's hand where Potter stabbed himself yesterday, and asked him if he thought he could do that himself. Potter looked surprised and the Dark Lord said he could see right through him." He trailed off, remembering how weird he'd found that at the time.

It clicked. "He was talking about mind-magic, wasn't he?" The Headmaster, his father and Snape all looked vaguely uncomfortable and Black looked furiously at Dumbledore as if understanding something.

"Merlin, Potter's going to be possessed and kill us all." He muttered under his breath, feeling the disapproving gazes of the occupants of the room.

No one actually responded to his words though, and that set him on edge. For once, he really wished he wasn't right.

Dumbledore continued asking questions, some obscure, and Draco could hardly see how they were relevant. All he really wanted to know was if Potter was going to be okay and what his father was hiding. He wished fervently for Dumbledore to finish. He could tell Black was hoping for the same.

"Severus, Sirius, you may keep vigil by Harry if you wish, but you are to sleep or you will do the young man no good when he wakes. Lucius, I imagine you would like some time alone with your son, you may use my office for this."

Draco was left alone with Lucius. He waited for the man to begin.

"I apologize for not informing you of this earlier." Draco nodded, knowing this was the best he would receive from his father.

"Where's Mother?" He thought to ask.

"She is in the castle at the moment, I will bring you to see her later."

"You've been here the whole time?" Draco asked, stunned.

There was a pause and Draco reminded himself not to push it. "Father, I'm dating someone." He interrupted whatever Lucius was about to say. "Someone I think you should meet." He finished hurriedly.

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "Someone you think I should meet." He repeated slowly. "She is pureblood?"

Draco swallowed. "Not exactly."

He could see anger flash upon his father's face and for a second he thought he would be disowned or something equally horrific. But then, he was his father's only heir, the man wouldn't dare, he thought smugly.

"I see." Lucius' expression was clear. "I shall meet her. I hope she is a her." The dangerous tone made Draco silently thanked any deities listening for his sexual orientation.

"Very much a her." He promised.

It wasn't until he left that he realized he'd never asked his father about Potter. He swore he would remember to later. Possibly after Lucius had met Hermione. Or possibly not. He took a deep breath.

0-0

"Lucius." Snape couldn't lift his head. He couldn't take his eyes off the delicate-looking boy on the bed. He felt an insatiable urge to touch him but refrained as Black was only a few feet away.

"My friend, you are looking particularly pale." Lucius observed from the entrance.

Potter seemed to rouse protective urges. Severus held a small comfort in the fact that it was not only himself, almost everyone who met the boy felt like they needed to protect him. All the while, putting him in danger constantly. Especially Albus, Severus pondered darkly, he must talk to that man.

"Perhaps we should converse elsewhere." An obvious glance at the mutt.

Severus didn't want to leave Harry's bedside but agreed anyway, knowing Lucius would not keep him long, the blond knew him too well. He'd know, without Severus saying, how much he needed to be there.

He stepped into the hall with Lucius. Hogwarts was still empty, the students had been sent home until further notice.

"Severus, I have a confession to make." He said quietly. That was enough to spark Snape's curiosity.

"A confession?" He repeated.

"About Potter." There was a long moment in which Lucius did not say anything. Snape did not say anything either, he was too busy trying to figure out what Lucius could have done. He waited for the man to continue.

"I could have spared him much of the time with Bellatrix." There was a short flare of disbelief. Severus knew what Cruciatus felt like, he knew the feeling well, but five hours? Of course, knowing Bellatrix, some of the time would be spent taunting the victim. Again, the Longbottoms came to mind and Severus shook it off because the idea of his partner being practically comatose made him feel ill.

"Elaborate." He carefully measured his tone. Stoicism was his forte.

_Lucius felt the familiar excitement that went with being summoned. The excitement, the anticipation and the recently acquired fear. His occlumency was very elementary, Severus was trying to drum it into him, but he was a very poor student. The idea was outlandish. Lucius couldn't understand how anyone could be expected to 'master the mind'. Severus seemed to be very adept at it, but the man was incredibly impassive by nature, or he was conditioned that way anyway. Lucius thought the skill might have been a birth-power for the man._

_"Lucius, Bellatrix has Potter!" The gleeful voice of Gerod broke Lucius away from his thoughts. He smirked and Gerod was satisfied with his response. He fingered the small ball-bearing in his pocket._

_"I don't suppose there's any room for revenge?"_

_"You want to see him?" Gerod didn't appear to find the request strange, in fact, he sounded enthusiastic._

_"Of course."_

_The Death-Eater just grinned and told him where Bellatrix was. Lucius wasn't surprised he knew, rumor had it Bellatrix was sleeping with the man, Rudolphus was probably aware, but who challenged that woman about anything? Besides, Lucius' face darkened, the Dark Lord had 'borrowed' her enough times for Rodolphus to be accustomed._

_The large mansion, one the Dark Lord was fond of using, contained a dungeon almost as complex as that of Hogwarts. Lucius was familiar with the place and navigated the halls easily. He had never been sure of who the house had belonged to before the Dark Lord claimed it. It was a tangent he did not care to follow._

_The moment he saw the boy, on his knees in front of Bellatrix, the only thought that crossed his mind was one of admiration. He personally knew the strength it took to drag himself up after a few bouts of Cruciatus. Of course, it wasn't the most dignified position, but lying on the floor was much worse._

_Moments later Potter was writhing in pain. Neither the torturer or the tortured had noticed him yet. He observed Potter's attitude and had a strange sense of pride when he saw the boy didn't make a sound. As if he had jinxed it, a piercing scream sounded and Lucius winced in sympathy._

_"You see, Potter? I can break you!" The pride and victory in Bellatrix's voice made Lucius step forward._

_"Bella, yet again torturing a guest, don't kill him before the fun starts." To think, just months ago, this situation would be highly amusing. He studiously ignored Potter's gasp of shock._

_"My son will be very pleased to see you, Potter." He tried to get across an encouraging message before he touched the boy. In hindsight, to Potter it probably wasn't the best image, Lucius recalled how his son and Potter were rivals._

_"Your son is-" For a split-second Lucius wanted to hear exactly what his son was, but he quelled the urge and interrupted._

_"Looking forward to tonight." The sentence made an alarm go off in his mind, still, it was what Bellatrix wanted to hear._

_"The little bastard won't have the guts." Lucius agreed. He prayed his son didn't._

_He could see the obvious side-effects of the Cruciatus curse. Potter was shaking so hard his teeth were clicking. Lucius knew it was time._

_He rested one hand on the boy's shoulder and the other subtly in his pocket._

_"Bella here is quite the expert on the Cruciatus curse, I'm sure you'll come to appreciate the skill under her tender care." He gripped tighter._

_Suddenly his ring burned. His son was near. He kept his composure as he thought about what that meant. Lucius' earlier statements about Draco came back to haunt him. He did not want his heir in the middle of this. He did not want Draco around when the Dark Lord found out Lucius had taken Potter from his grasp. He swallowed the guilt lingering in his mind and he lifted his hand from the boy's shoulder. He wondered if Potter would forgive him._

Severus felt somewhat relieved. In truth, he had expected worse. He could understand loyalty. Perhaps not blood loyalty, his family had not been loving and the notion of familial bonds had been lost on them.

"Fair enough." He watched Lucius' face relax. His friend had been tense throughout the telling and Severus hid his shock at seeing his friend so open with his emotions. He didn't know whether to thank Narcissa or the Dark Lord.

"I love my son, Severus." Lucius stated quietly. Severus looked him in the eye.

"Fair enough." He repeated, firmer this time. There was a short silence, in which Severus cast several nervous glances towards the Hospital Wing, masked as they were, Lucius spotted them easily.

"I will not keep you from him." Severus nodded shortly and turned away. A hand stopped him, however, and he spun back to the blond.

"Do you love the boy?" Severus flinched at the word 'love'.

"I..." He found himself speechless and he just stared blankly.

Lucius sighed and let go. "I think you had better find it in you to try." Severus was about to retort when Lucius held up his hands in defense. "I am only looking out for you, my friend."

He would have bit out a cutting comment about Lucius' own relationships but he didn't. He was too weary. Too confused.

Without any further words, Snape turned away from Lucius and made for the door of the Infirmary. He heard Lucius mutter something but didn't stay to listen.

0-0

Ron felt sick whenever he looked at Harry. His friend was gaunt and as pale as Draco. Hermione was sitting at his side, her hand in his, her eyes tearful. Ron had been worried Draco would be jealous, the Slytherin was way possessive, but he had seemed to realize it was assurance between the closest of friends.

When Snape walked in, Ron's eyes were immediately focused on the Potions Professor. Ever since Harry had told them about his predicament, Ron had been watching the older man, he didn't want to admit it to Harry, but he was terrified Snape would hurt his friend. It was just the sort of thing Snape would've done less than a month ago. His thoughts had only danced around the idea of rape, but he was still painfully aware of the notion.

"Snape's here, Harry." He said to his friend's still body. It wouldn't be the first time he'd visited an unconscious Harry in the Hospital Wing. In fact, it was an increasingly large part of their friendship.

He could feel Snape's sneer on his back but stubbornly ignored it. He wasn't going to be forced out of the room by the Potions Professor. Though Ron had to admit, he was really hoping Hermione would be back soon.

"Has the boy woken?" He was startled to hear Snape ask in a somewhat civil manner.

"No, sir." He mumbled. Madame Pomfrey was a bit worried about how long Harry had been out, she was planning to wake him after lunch if he hadn't already roused.

As if she'd been summoned by his thoughts, she bustled into the room with several vials in her arms.

"Severus," She started when she saw him. "Good, you're back."

Snape nodded in acknowledgement. Ron was surprised he wasn't scowling.

"I want you to touch him with your shields down."

Ron was confused but Snape seemed to understand. He was frowning now, which made him more familiar to Ron.

There was a second of apparent indecision as Snape leaned over his dark-haired friend. Finally a bony hand touched the side of Harry's face.

The moment lasted forever. Ron's heart almost stopped beating at the tenderness he could have sworn he was seeing. Just a fleeting feeling of care. And he realized that perhaps he didn't need to worry about his friend at all.

"He is fine." Snape's hand left Harry's face but traveled to rest on his arm, as if to keep the contact.

Yes, Ron thought with a small smile, Harry would be safe with Snape.

0-0


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Procrastinate: To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness. To postpone or delay needlessly.

That is an excellent word to describe what I have been doing. I didn't want to make yet another one year anniversary of not updating this fic, so I got off my ass and actually did some work on it. Here is my belated Christmas gift to myself and to you all.

Synopsis from the beginning (since I'm sure most of you have forgotten): Harry and Snape are addressed by Dumbledore over bond. Both v. angry. Meanwhile Hermione is dating Draco. Dumbledore gets sick of Harry & Snape not doing anything, locks them in a room and tells them they have to bond within a deadline. Lucius defects. Harry and Snape spend a few chapters half-flirting. Dursleys die. Harry stabs himself, has a bad dream and promptly gets kidnapped and tortured. Lucius saves Harry and his son and has a little guilt trip about leaving Harry too long with Bellatrix Lestrange. People v. worried about Harry mentally.

And that brings people up to date. I don't think I need to tell you how pathetic it is that I can summarise this fic in less than 100 words. I also want to apologise that there's been no action (you know what type of action I'm talking about), but it will happen in time (hopefully soon). Thanks to everyone who has reviewed.

On with the show!

Chapter 17

Search - An investigation seeking answers

Severus Snape would never have admitted it, but he was scared. Terrified even. Harry Potter hadn't awoken in ten days and Severus felt as if hadn't slept in the same amount of time. Every time he closed his eyes he saw what could happen. What might have happened. Not long ago, the thought of a brain-dead Potter wouldn't have bothered him one bit, it might have even pleased him, in a manner that could only be the result of years of bitter hatred. Now, it was a sickly dread that haunted him at the thought of the damage that had been done to Harry's body and his mind.

Pomfrey had wanted to rouse Harry to run him through a series of tests, but it seemed like a lifetime ago that they all had gathered outside the Infirmary, Severus by the young man's side. It had been five minutes before Pomfrey looked up, her eyes conveying what she did not say and Severus swore to himself angrily.

The door to the hushed room cracked open. A familiar head appeared, twinkling eyes scoping out the occupants. Severus sneered at Albus, not in the mood for his cheerful theatrics. Not today.

"Not to worry, Severus, young Harry will wake in his own time." He reassured. Severus inwardly winced at the 'young Harry'. Every time he heard such a statement it made his skin crawl. He supposed it was irrelevant cringing at the phrase now, not when he undoubtedly wouldn't be touching the boy in an illicit manner for some time, possibly never.

"Has it occurred to you that Harry may never wake?" Snape growled. "That he may very well die?" He was sick of people dancing around the subject. Death was familiar to him, as familiar as the corridors of the Hogwarts dungeons and the properties of his potions. It confused him that anyone should consider it impossible or improbable. In the world he lived in, people died just as quickly as more were born, at times faster. It was the Snape curse, he supposed.

"All we can do is hope for the best." The painfully truthful and ridiculously optimistic sentence raised a burning ire in Severus.

"That may be all you can do, sit here and _hope_," he spat the word out with no end of distaste. "But I am going to find a solution." With that he brushed past the Headmaster, leaving the room for the first time in days.

(-)

"Have you heard?" A head rested on his shoulder from behind, taking him by surprise.

"Heard what?" Draco asked, turning to face his girlfriend.

"Professor Snape left Harry's room."

He stared at her for a moment before reacting. "Where did he go?"

"Spain." Draco laughed.

"No, really, where?"

"Madrid, Spain. It has the best wizarding Library in the world." She said it with such an inexplicable amount of wonder and awe in her voice that Draco would have laughed if the news wasn't still sinking in.

"He actually left his soul mate to go on some crazy trip to Spain to see a library?" He was stunned by the idea. Was she really talking about Professor Snape, the same professor who had been at Potter's bedside since the incident, hardly eating and snapping at anyone who dared to get close? Well, besides Sirius Black, that was. The two once-enemies appeared to have found common ground in their manic worry about Potter. Black's werewolf had dragged him away from the room several times but no one dared remove Severus.

"It's not just a library." Hermione huffed indignantly. "But don't you see? He's trying to find a way to wake Harry up."

"Father told me Pomfrey said that whatever reason there was for Potter not waking up had to run its course."

She kissed him lightly. "Do you always listen to what your father tells you?"

Draco pressed his lips against her neck gently. "If I did, do you think I'd be going out with you?"

"Professor Snape thinks Madame Pomfrey was wrong, obviously. Personally, I think he's researching the soul mate bond. It's the only possible solution. They really should have bonded fully earlier, when they had the chance. From what I've read, that would make this much easier." She broke away to grab a book out of her bag.

"You read too much. Besides, if they'd bonded earlier, things probably wouldn't have gone this far."

"Anything could have happened." She sighed, suddenly looking much older. Draco grabbed her hand.

"How about we go visit Potter?" It was the only thing that could wipe that look off her face. Hermione would sit with him for hours reading him books or just talking to him. She said that muggles thought patients like Potter could hear people talking. Draco hoped not, because he had stumbled across quite a few unscheduled breakdowns at Potter's bedside. Teary confessions and angry ramblings both. Words that would horrify and humiliate, words spoken in a rush of sickness, anger and worry, words wrought by circumstance.

(-)

Madrid was cold this time of year. Snape pulled his cloak close around him, checking once more over the weakened bond that Harry was still alive. The reassurance was a poor second-best to seeing him with his own two eyes, but, for the moment, it was enough. He turned the corner and a colossal stone building confronted him. Towers saluted the sky about every 30 feet, the building reaching high like a god, lording over the inhabitants of the capital.

Snape shook his head at himself. Feeling intimidated by a building, he scoffed. He had far more important things to worry about than lording libraries. He entered the library, welcomed by tall bookshelves stocked with ancient tomes, edges worn with age, and even taller ceilings, painted like the Sistine Chapel, something Severus had only had the privilege of seeing once. Magic bled from every nook and cranny in the place, buzzing as if it was alive.

A short, rotund man hurried up to him, a busy looking fellow with piles of books balancing in both hands and several more floating behind him. He spoke rapid Spanish in welcome to Severus, leaving the Norfolk-raised Snape cursing his inadequate hold on the Spanish language.

"¿Habla usted inglés?" He asked, finally giving up.

"I had you pegged as an Englishman, I did." The man chuckled in his only slightly accented English. Snape sneered, why didn't the idiot start out in English then? "How can I help you?"

"Your sections on mind-magics and magical bonds, where are they?"

The man gave him a curious look that a glare from Severus quickly snuffed. "Follow that wall down to the third stairwell, take that to the third floor, cross the room in a straight line and turn left. There should be another stairwell, follow that up to the fourth floor and go through the third door on your left. Turn right and go straight forward until you see a door on your right with a yellow sign. Go through the door and walk down the corridor." The man finally stopped to breathe and Snape wondered how big this library was for the section to be that far.

He spoke too soon. "Enter the second door you pass and turn right, the mind-magics should be right in front of you."

"Right," Snape muttered.

"Would you like directions to the bonds section also?"

"Dare I say I can find it on my own?" He murmured.

"Oh, I doubt it, Sir." The man seemed to find this exceptionally funny and Severus cursed the fact that wizards always had to do things the hard way.

"Fine," Severus gave in and carefully listened to the second set of instructions.

It was two hours before he was finally able to settle in with a large selection of books. With the help of a translation spell every now and then, he slowly began to research the subject of entering a mindscape while the body was in a comatose state.

(-)

Narcissa Malfoy was sick of her husband's moping. Lucius sat in front of the fire all day and most of the night, a forlorn expression on his face. The idea of Lucius Malfoy sulking was almost ridiculous to anyone outside the family but Narcissa knew well the deep, gloomy periods of depression her husband went through. She'd been pleased to see her son hadn't taken after him in that aspect of things.

After two weeks of the disturbing behaviour Narcissa shook her head, fed up, and stalked over to the armchair in which Lucius slouched. The blond-haired man hardly acknowledged her dramatic entrance.

"Get up." She ordered.

"Pardon?" Lucius stared up at her, nonplussed.

"You heard me, up you get, I won't have you wallowing in your self pity any longer. Draco is beginning to worry."

"You don't understand, Cissa, things have spun so out of control. The Dark Lord… took… you, Potter was severely injured through fault of mine, Draco is having affairs with a muggleborn, and now Severus has gone gallivanting off on a wild goose chase in Spain, of all places!" He confessed, angry and confused.

Narcissa took his hands in hers. "Lucius, dearest, firstly, the Dark Lord may have "taken me" but I can hold my own and you rode in your shining armour soon enough. Secondly, Harry Potter will recover with time, and no one holds you responsible for thinking of the safety of your only son and heir. Thirdly, Hermione is quite a nice girl and you would know that if you had moved from this chair just once to meet her. Draco is quite disappointed you know. Lastly, I'm sure that there is rhyme and reason behind Severus' actions, as there always is, and he will return with a solution, trust me." She finished her speech with a deep breath.

"You've met Draco's girlfriend?" Was all he managed to spit out.

Narcissa sighed. Men. "Miss Hermione Granger. A talented, intelligent witch in Draco's year. Potter's friend. You really should have met her." She admonished.

Lucius nodded slowly. "Yes. I should have."

"Now that has been sorted-"

"I think I'll go meet her now."

Narcissa paused. "Now?"

"Yes. Where is my cane?" He stood up out of the chair, his back cracking as he did so, making Narcissa grimace at the sound.

"Dear, I'm sure Miss Granger is occupied with other commitments at this moment but perhaps-"

Lucius cut her off once more. "I'm sure she can spare a moment to meet her future father-in-law." He found the cane by the door.

Narcissa gaped at him in a most unladylike manner for a moment. "They never said they were going to get married." She finally protested, flustered.

"If Draco wants us to meet her, he wants to marry her." Lucius said with a finality that was beyond Narcissa.

"What makes you think that? You haven't even talked to the girl!" She insisted, quite put out by her husbands notions. Draco had most certainly not mentioned marriage, nor had Hermione. She was fairly convinced they were still in the beginning stages of their relationship.

"Believe me," Lucius assured her, one foot out the door. "He's a young man, I know how they think."

Narcissa dumbly watched the door close. My goodness, she thought, what a whirlwind! Had Lucius introduced any girls to his parents before her? She hadn't heard of any. She hadn't met any of Draco's previous girlfriends, she supposed. In fact, Draco had hardly spoken of them. Could Lucius be correct? Could a wedding be on their horizons? The thought made her toes tingle. She already had a venue in mind and a menu planned.

(-)

"Do you suppose he'll wake up today?" Ron said absently, fiddling with his school tie.

"I don't know, maybe." Hermione answered, her head resting on Draco's chest.

"Severus won't be here though."

"I hardly think that's relevant." She murmured, listening to his heart beat. It was reassuring, she thought, to really know someone was alive. The most disconcerting thing about Harry was his unnatural stillness. She somehow wanted assurance that it wasn't just his corpse, a pulse, breath, heartbeat. She often waited until Professor Snape fell asleep to check, just in case. She felt awfully silly while doing it, but she felt better once she knew.

"I hope he'll wake up soon, he's missing a lot." Seamus said from her left, moving his king out of check.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, everyone worrying madly about him, that's all he's missing."

"He's missing Professor Snape's spiral of doom, that's what he's really missing." Ron snorted humourlessly. "He's going mad."

"I would be, if I had a soul mate sick like Harry." Hermione smiled at Draco warmly, he tangled his fingers in her hair in response. She thought he was being sensitive and considerate to Severus but really he could just imagine how it would feel to have someone as unimaginably close as a soul mate in that condition.

"My aunt was in a coma once." Seamus said. "They made the decision to stop supporting her, prepared a date and everything. She woke up a couple of hours later. Uncle Liam was awfully pleased they hadn't chosen to stop earlier. Tricky business, that."

The low chatter was interrupted by a hush that spread over the Common Room. The esteemed Lucius Malfoy had made his grand entrance. Draco scrambled out of the couch, knocking Hermione over in the process and both of them ended up tangled on the floor. Malfoy senior looked puzzled.

"No need to trouble yourselves so." He remarked on their predicament.

Draco righted Hermione, apologising, and rushed to his father, taking his arm. "You're up and about!" He exclaimed, pleased.

Lucius chuckled. "You make it sound as if I am an invalid, Draco."

"No, Father, just someone who has been sitting in the same place for weeks on end. You must have bed sores by now!" Draco led him to a chair. Quiet conversations began around them once more.

"Father, this is Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas." He introduced the boys in turn. Lucius nodded in greeting. "And this is my girlfriend, Hermione Granger." He gazed anxiously up at his father but he needn't have worried, Lucius shook her hand firmly and kissed her on the cheek.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all, especially you Miss Granger." Hermione blushed.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you, Sir, Draco speaks of you all the time."

"Call me Lucius, if you please." Draco had a wide smile on his face that he couldn't seem to wipe off. He'd been so worried about his father's reaction to Hermione that the relief was overwhelming.

"It must be nice for you and your wife to see Draco during the school year, excusing the circumstances. My parents miss me quite a bit when I'm gone nine months out of the year."

"Indeed, Narcissa and I find it quite interesting to see how he behaves in Hogwarts." Lucius raised an eyebrow at Draco.

Draco had no doubt his father had noticed how accepted he was into the Gryffindor tower, he was just thankful the man hadn't mentioned it. Ever since Harry had been occupied with Severus and begun to live with him, Draco had been slowly welcomed into the house. The acceptance from two thirds of the trio certainly contributed to that. Well, that in addition to the fact that Draco could be incredibly polite and charismatic when he wasn't being a spoiled brat. A strict, traditionalist pureblood upbringing took care of that.

"My mam worries after me, she says I can't be left on my lonesome for two seconds without getting into trouble."

Lucius fixed his stare on Seamus, tapping his cane as if thinking. "Seamus Finnegan. Your mother's maiden name was Uí Mháille, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"A strong Irish bloodline, you have some proud heritage there, Mr Finnegan."

Seamus laughed. "My mother says so often!"

"Anyhow, I have matters to take care of and business to attend to. Son, I will expect yourself and Miss Granger to visit your mother and I, perhaps attend a dinner this week."

"Good evening, Father. Let me walk you to the door." Draco stood and escorted Lucius to the exit.

In his wake the group breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Wow, he's intense." Dean whispered.

"Are they always so formal?" Seamus asked Hermione.

"Not always," She answered thoughtfully. "Or at least Draco isn't. It's just the way his family is in general, I think. Not cold, just elegant. Old money and all that."

"Shhh, he's coming back." Ron hissed.

Draco arrived back at the group, either not noticing that they were talking about him or not caring. Hermione thought the latter. Draco truly didn't seem to be bothered when people talked about him, revelled in it even. He thought it was terribly amusing, especially when they came to the wrong conclusions. Hermione found that attractive, his amazing lack of self-consciousness.

"I'm terribly sorry about the heritage remark," Draco apologised to Seamus. "He means well really, he just respects old families. Sorry, Dean." He nodded at the muggle-born, who took it with ease.

"It's all right, me mam is right proud of her family, she is."

"What did he think of me?" Hermione asked Draco, giving him a quick peck as he sat down next to her.

"I think he liked you," Draco grinned from ear to ear, an infectious smile that made Hermione's lips curl upwards also.

"Good."

Later, when Draco asked his mother what made Lucius come to the Gryffindor Common Room, of all places, just to meet his girlfriend, Narcissa laughed.

"I rather think he was horrified that I had beaten him to something and had to right it immediately." She replied, smiling at Lucius' fervour.

(-)

The librarian in the specialised magics section of the Madrid Wizarding Library had become accustomed to the British Master of Potions, Mr. Severus Snape, haunting his area of the renown biblioteca. The man came in as soon as the place opened, spent hours and hours poring over magical texts, and made countless notes. He did not break for lunch or dinner unless a member of the staff pushed it upon him, almost feeling obligated to look after this sickly man who would not look after himself. He stayed until an obscenely late hour, something the librarian bent the rules to allow, and left with piles of books that the Spaniard knew he spent all night reading. Alejandro Mendez did not ask the man what he was looking for, he suspected that, if the search became desperate enough, the man would ask. It would have to be an important search, Mendez thought, for the Englishman to have to examine text after text, frantically searching for something but Mendez did not know what.

Finally, after over a week of the same, Alejandro approached the Brit. The man actually flinched when he touched the other's shoulder, a true testament to his weariness. Alejandro put up both hands in surrender. "Lo siento, señor." He apologised. "I did not mean to scare you."

"You didn't scare me," The man growled. "I was merely startled."

Alejandro reached over and examined the title of the book Mr. Snape was reading. He glanced down at the man's notes, written in almost illegible script.

"It is a good book if you are looking for, er¿cómo se lo dice en Inglés? …spells, rituals… involving mind control, but otherwise the information is most certainly useless. I thought perhaps I could aid you." He gestured to a seat near Mr. Snape and the other man nodded tiredly, seemingly resigned to needing help. "What are you looking for exactly?"

The man was exact all right. Alejandro had a little trouble following Mr. Snape's English, but thanks to his steady grasp on the language he understood the majority of it. He scratched his head, deep in thought for a few minutes before resolutely borrowing Mr. Snape's quill and parchment.

"This is a list of books that would be useful to address on this matter. Some of them are Spanish, some English, and several are French. Do you speak the language?" The Englishman nodded. "That is good, translation spells do not cultivate understanding as clearly as true knowledge of a language. This one," He pointed out a book on the list. "Is Norweigan. There is a man on the second floor who can aid you with this. If you need assistance with the Spanish, I will be glad to be of help."

The man looked at him with a strange expression on his face. In an almost reverent voice, the man thanked him. Alejandro was glad to be of help to this Mr. Snape, he certainly looked as if he needed it.

(-)

Harry sat on his bed in Dudley's second bedroom. His potions text in his lap, his quill scribbled furiously on the parchment. _Properties of wormwood in memory potions_, Harry hurriedly wrote the essay, _this plant is used with- _

Hedwig fluttered her wings, hooting, perched on the rusty metal bed head. Harry turned to her. "Hedwig, you can't make that kind noise, Uncle Vernon will hear. He'll wring your neck, you know." He warned her, glancing at the door worriedly.

"The Dursleys are dead Harry." Hedwig told him.

"No, they're not," Harry protested. "They're downstairs watching Wheel of Fortune. You can hear it!"

"They're dead. You're dreaming, Harry."

"No, I'm right here, doing my Potions essay, it has to be done or Hermione will have my head, not to mention Snape!"

Hedwig's big round black eyes stared him down. "If you're not dreaming, why am I talking to you?"

Harry stared at her, doe-eyed. He looked up and saw the ceiling flying away, the night sky had no stars, instead it was a splash of colours. He panicked and backed into the wall, crouching.

"Oh shit. I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming," He repeated to himself. "This isn't real."

The wall behind him fell away and he leapt up, arms wind milling as he struggled to keep his balance. "This isn't happening. Why can't I wake up?" Harry knelt in the middle of the room, hands covering his eyes. His heart raced so fast he couldn't breathe. He could feel the bile rising in his throat.

"Why can't I wake up?"


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I'd really appreciate some reviews to let me know what you think, if you're still reading etc. It's just great encouragement. Thanks for being patient.

**Chapter 18**

Control - To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct

"So it is with minds. Unless you keep them busy with some definite subject that will bridle and control them, they throw themselves in disorder hither and yon in the vague field of imagination... And there is no mad or idle fancy that they do not bring forth in the agitation."

Michel de Montaigne

It was another eight days before Severus finally found the solution. He was surrounded by five texts that he had narrowed the search down to. He'd read four of the five and had made extensive notes, but it was about halfway through the fifth that he came across the final piece to the puzzle. A startled cry escaped his lips.

"I've got it," He said to himself. "That's it." Severus noted down the paragraph, paraphrasing for speed. The word underlined at the bottom of the page confirmed what he already knew. Legilimency. He thanked his lucky stars it was something he was skilled at. At first he was unsure whether it would have been any use on an unconscious person in what he was now sure was a magical coma. The combination of their half-fledged bond and his skills as Legilimency and Occlumency would be the key. All Severus had to do was make sure he didn't kill both of them. The thought made him shudder. His mind trapped in Harry's for all of eternity while his body rotted away, soul absent.

He gathered his notes, making sure to get every single one. He could no longer take risks, forget a single detail, lest this all go terribly wrong. Severus first rushed to Mendez's desk. The Spaniard had been the deciding factor to this success and Severus felt compelled to thank him. How Harry was turning him soft, he bemoaned, decades of thanking nobody, ungrateful, hateful years, destroyed by a sixteen year old boy.

Before he could say anything Mendez looked up at him through halfmoon glasses, for a moment resembling Albus Dumbledore, despite being less than half the man's age. "Let me guess, muchas gracias? You are very welcome, I hope your search was fruitful. Adiós, Sr. Snape."

Severus stared the man down, masking his surprise skilfully. "Muchas Gracias, Sr. Mendez." He settled on, thinking the man was unnervingly like Albus in a number of ways.

(-)

It was three o'clock in the morning in Britain that Poppy Pomfrey was woken up by a bang and a crash in the infirmary. She hurried out of her bed in the adjoining room to the medical wing. Knowing there was no one in the beds, and the only other inhabitant was Harry in his special room, she was armed with her wand. So, it was with great trepidation and determination that Poppy Pomfrey crept into the infirmary in her pink nightgown. The room was unlit, the moon hiding behind the cloud cover outside. She heard a string of curse words and suddenly recognised the voice.

"Severus?" She asked cautiously. "Is that you?"

"Quite," Poppy was certain now, hearing the familiar impatient tones of the Potions Master. "_Lumos_."

The room was flooded with light, bright enough that Poppy had to squint and wait for her eyes to adjust. It was then she saw Severus, looking truly haggard and dishevelled. There was a spark in his eye though, one of fierce passion and zeal. She could see the table that Severus had toppled in his poorly lit venture through the Hospital Wing. He must have been in quite a hurry, in fact-

"You've found it haven't you? A cure?" She gasped, realising the implications of his return.

"I've found it," He confirmed, his gaze quickly finding Harry's door. "Get Albus immediately. And Lucius, if he is still here."

"Now?" She asked, checking the time on the large clock on the wall. "Are you sure?"

"Immediately. I have to do this immediately. Is Harry…" He nodded towards the door.

"He's there." She told him, hoping desperately that Severus had truly found the solution.

"Go." He ordered, and she left as fast as she could, navigating the hallways up to Albus' office, her nightgown fluttering behind her.

(-)

Severus opened the door gingerly, almost as if he would wake Harry were he too loud. The thought made his breath catch and the sight of Harry's still body was almost too much. The weeks he had been away had been agonising, the return almost as painful. He'd been to a portkey point to return, as cross-country apparition, even from an apparition point, would have drained his magic. He needed as much strength as possible for this.

Severus cast a cushioning charm on the ground next to Harry's bed, hoping it would hold. The sensible thing to do was wait for help, but he couldn't wait for Albus, the burning need to hear Harry say something, anything, overwhelmed all reason. He leaned over Harry, carefully resting one hand on Harry's arm and the other on his cheek. This had to work, he told himself, it had to work or else…

He closed his eyes. At first he felt nothing, just the quiet sounds outside the room. Slowly, his mind cleared, tuning out distracting noises. He felt a familiar presence. Victoriously, he nudged.

The intense mix of colours confused him at first, throwing him off balance, but he soldiered on, memories suddenly bursting into life in front of him. Harry's life whizzed past his eyes, rapidly and almost uncontrollably. Severus tried to reach out and make them tangible but they slipped from his grasp. From his research he had gathered that Harry's mind would be out of his control but this was nothing like he had ever experienced. Normally during Legilimancy even the most flustered of people had orderly minds but this, this was unimaginably disordered. Harry's unconscious mind was rife with confusion and fear.

He spotted his opportunity when an image fluttered by for the fifth time. Severus prepared himself and then managed to pull himself into it.

(-)

Albus Dumbledore was woken by a flustered Madam Pomfrey. Five minutes later he had finally managed to elicit a comprehensible explanation from her. Albus fire called Lucius Malfoy, giving him a curt order to met them in the infirmary as soon as possible. They then dashed down to the Hospital Wing.

They intercepted Lucius on the fourth floor corridor, along with Narcissa, and ventured into the infirmary together. The group paused for a second, all eyes on the door to Harry's room. Albus broke the moment by cracking open the door, seeing Severus lying still in a heap on the floor he rushed forward. Checking the man's vitals and confirming their stability, Poppy asked the men to lift him onto a bed, moving one as close to Harry's as possible. If Severus had indeed used Legilimency to enter Harry's mind Albus knew it would be best to keep the two in physical proximity.

Paper brushed his leg and he glanced down in surprise. Parchments, piles of them, covered the floor where Severus had been. It was strange he had not noticed them before, he mused, gathering them into his hands. His knees creaked painfully on the way up and Albus winced slightly. His years were catching up with him. As he shuffled through the parchments a small smile blossomed on his face. His eyes twinkled madly as he translated the scrawl that was Severus' handwriting. What a thing not to notice, indeed. Absolutely marvellous.

Eyes drawn to the two beds, side by side, Albus only wished the other man had addressed him before leaping into such a perilous situation with no one to aid him. Albus sighed, eyeing Harry and Severus. Two young men he had let down far too often.

(-)

The house was well-kept. Severus examined the flowerbeds with an air of indifference. He had never cared much for gardens unless they made useful potions ingredients. These were particularly average, muggle gardenias, hydrangeas, marigolds, petunias… His eyes snapped back up to the house. The Dursleys. That explained the house, he sneered at the perfectly manicured hedges and picturesque homes in the neighbourhood. Severus himself had certainly not been raised in such an area. He had no doubt such a place alienated Potter quite seriously. That might have explained a number of things, Severus thought dryly.

He looked up at the dizzying swirl of colours that replaced the sky and his stomach lurched. There was definitely something wrong with this seemingly picture perfect place. His eyes fixed firmly back on the ground which was, thankfully, normal. The sick feeling settled in his stomach, his mouth parched.

He made his way to the door of the house, having decided that nothing of import was happening outside. The door flew open the second he knocked, the hinges protesting loudly. The… thing… that met Severus could hardly be called human. A giant, purple faced demon, more like. The monster was over seven feet tall, unreasonably wide and his skin was scaled and a sickly shade of violet. A caricature of Harry's uncle? The thing was obviously blown wildly out of proportion by Harry's imagination. Severus wondered what the real Vernon Dursley had been like.

Startled out of his open mouthed surprise, he ducked a flying arm. The man had the nerve to take a swing at him, Severus thought angrily. He reached for his wand before wondering if it had any affect in this strange place. He quickly reasoned that if Harry believed in magic, it would be real in some manner or form in his mindscape.

"_Stupefy!_" Severus yelled most ungracefully whilst trying unsuccessfully to avoid another blow. It grazed his jaw and the force knocked him to the ground. He was winded as he struck the concrete and immediately rolled to avoid the falling Vernon Dursley. The thud as he hit the ground made Severus wince. The bigger they were…

Brushing himself off, wondering why, if the pain wasn't real, he was feeling so sore. Psychologically, he supposed, he thought it was genuine. Severus cracked his jaw, rubbing the edge. After he escaped with Harry, he decided, he was never dipping into someone else's mind again. The human psyche was a decidedly sick place.

Stepping over the fallen man, Severus made his way into the house. He cautiously checked the living room, dining room and kitchen for other members of the household. He had no intentions of having a run in with another ridiculously strong and illogically large Dursley.

"Harry?" He called up the stairs. He wouldn't call it fear, but there was a certain amount of trepidation as he climbed the stairs. The uneasy feeling didn't fade as he stood on the landing. He checked the room on his right first. It was large and messy. Posters covered the walls haphazardly and it smelt of smoke. Severus noted that he had immediately ruled it out as Harry's room.

It was the door across the landing that had caught his attention. The door knob was hot to touch. Alarms went off in his head. Firmly ignoring the warning he pushed the door open.

"Merlin!" A curse escaped his mouth and the door slammed closed again. He gasped for a moment before composing himself. He had been through much worse and come out the other side unscathed. Reminding himself it was not real, he opened the door again. The swirling that was the sky had taken over the whole room. The walls had somehow disappeared and the floor was falling away. It was like he had opened the door to another world completely, he was no longer inside the Dursley's house. His stomach churned steadily as he focussed on the huddled Harry.

The young man had his head buried in his knees, hands over his ears. Severus still didn't dare step out, even though Harry was proof that it could be solid. While, in his mind, he knew none of it was real, if he so much as had one doubt he feared he would plunge into that disconcerting mix of colours. The thought made him shudder violently.

"Harry?" He called uncertainly. "Can you hear me?"

Harry didn't respond. Severus took a deep breath, steeling his nerves. He took a careful step towards Harry. He then realised that the boy was muttering something to himself. He took another step and leaned closer.

"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." The mantra was spoken rapidly and so low Severus could hardly hear it. Severus could hear the quick gasping breaths Harry was taking and worried he would hyperventilate.

"You're right, Harry, it's not real. This is just a mindscape. It's just something you imagined, something you have control over." He told the boy in a voice as calming and gentle as he could make it, one he would use to calm an animal. If he scared Harry further things could go very badly.

Harry's head flew out of the cocoon he had created. "Professor?" He questioned, voice weak and confused. "Severus?"

"It's okay, Harry." He reached out. "Take my hand."

"I can't." He shook his head, panicked at the words. "I'll fall."

"Look," Severus said soothingly. He thought he was doing a fine job at being gentle, considering it was his first time at it. "I'm not falling. Just take my hand, you'll be okay. Nothing will happen to you." He kept speaking until the words became meaningless, just reassurances and placating phrases like 'everything will be fine.' While the idea of such words coming out of his mouth would usually disgust him, the Harry he was facing certainly looked as though he needed it. And, he reminded himself, it was Harry's fear that was creating the mess that was this abyss. Dissipating that fear was his sole focus right then.

When a clammy hand gripped his, he heaved a great sigh of relief. "Good, Harry, very good. None of this is real."

"Promise?" He asked.

"Yes, I promise, I swear." He vowed, squeezing Harry's hand. He twisted an arm around Harry's waist and, mostly supporting the other's weight, began the meticulous task of backing up into the house. The edgy feeling the abyss gave him led him not to turn his back on it for fear it would take both of them.

The second in which they shut the door and stepped back onto solid wood was perhaps the most beautiful of his life. He let out a choking laugh. The giddy relief did not last long though, as he realised that the boy he was holding to his side was shaking like a leaf.

"Harry, everything is over now. We can leave here." He tried to adopt that voice again but it just came out strangled and stiff. A side of him that could only ever come out in an emergency, Snape thought derisively. "It's over." He told Harry when his previous reassurances had no affect. It occurred to him how ill that void had made him feel for the short time he was in there. "How long have you been in there?" Severus asked, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"Forever." Harry whispered, head buried in Severus' neck. Harry's breath was warm and wet on his neck and made his pulse quicken.

He instinctively held Harry tighter. "I think it's time we left then." He sent up a desperate prayer that his hastily contrived plan would work.

Placing both hands on either side of Harry's face, tilting it to look him in the eyes. The green orbs sparkled with fear and something else… trust? Severus kept his gaze fixed on Harry's eyes, concentrating his magic until he could feel it crawling under his skin. "_Effugio mens_."

Severus braced himself for what would come next, for it would be difficult, he knew. His ears rushed with sound as the world dropped away.


	19. Chapter 19

**Synopsis**: Harry and Severus are soul mates. Bellatrix and the Death Eaters had Harry captive. He was saved by Lucius Malfoy and fell into a coma from the Cruciatus Curse. Severus finds a way to save him by entering his mind, helps him and then magics them both out of there.

(-)

**Chapter 19**

Starve: v. to be in the process of perishing or suffering severely from hunger; to feel a strong need or desire.

Harry felt as if his stomach had fallen through the ground and if he could just put it back in its rightful place again he'd feel a lot better. Only the strong arm around his waist kept him upright, though his knees protested violently, buckling beneath him. Turning his head to say thanks, he did a double take.

He gaped, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, before the scowl on the other man's face made him splutter out an apology. "S-sorry." Harry attempted to stand by himself before taking another long look around.

"Where are we?" He finally asked, mystified by the small town.

"I have some idea," Severus responded, something in his voice warning Harry that things hadn't gone quite as planned. "It is rather… unexpected…" Was that embarrassment? Shame? Harry stole incredulous glances at the other out of the corner of his eye. Severus' face was fixed in a decidedly displeased expression, mouth curling in a half-sneer and eyes blacker than ever.

Harry took a deep breath to calm his still pounding heart. Wherever they were, at least they were a long way from that _room_. The recollection sent shivers up his spine. This place was entirely different, yet just as unnerving. The town was so quiet that Harry expected tumbleweed to blow across the street. But the air was still and stagnant, it almost smelt musty.

"How do we get back to Hogwarts?" He asked tentatively. There was something inherently wrong about this town. It looked nice enough, Harry thought it looked a bit like an abandoned Hogsmeade, but the emptiness left a chill that couldn't be ignored.

"I thought you would have realised by now," This time Severus looked amused, the embarrassment seemingly gone. "We are in Hogwarts. Physically. Mentally, that appears to be another matter entirely."

"Oh," Harry clicked. "So if that was me before, this is…"

"Indeed."

"Do you know how we leave?"

A scathing glance gave Harry his answer and he flushed. "I was just asking." He muttered.

Harry looked down the street, shrugged, and set off. The sidewalks were paved, grey stones with the occasional red one placed on the path. Harry could hear his shoes thud with every step.

"Where do you think you're going?" Severus' voice drifted after him. Harry looked over his shoulder at Severus' questioning face, eyebrow raised.

"If we're not going anywhere any time soon, we might as well get a look around. Coming?" The expression on the other man's face could be described as indignant but Harry thought he'd better not put a word to it for his own good. Despite that, another set of thuds accompanied him down the pavement. Harry smiled to himself. He felt better already.

The buildings were all empty, Harry looked in every single window and even stepped inside a couple. The shelves were all stocked in the shops and every home looked well-groomed if a bit shabby at 

times. The streets were dusty, as if it hadn't rained in days. Harry's shoes scuffed against the dirt, little clouds forming.

Severus had begun to lead their direction now, not hesitating or even looking around. Harry suspected the older man knew exactly where they were. He hoped that also meant he knew the way out, despite evidence to the contrary. The ground didn't get much greener as they headed towards the outskirts of the tiny town. It was like the everything about the place was dead, a barren ghost town. The paths narrowed and Harry's feet once again fell on the dusty, unpaved ground. He was so fixed on how eerily real the place was he failed to notice the large house they were approaching. Taking a cautionary glance up at Severus, Harry was surprised to see the pained expression on his face. The half-grimace that was just barely visible and the tightening of the brow which suggested an impending headache. He didn't dare ask what was going on again, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know. In truth, no matter where they were, it had to be better than that godawful place he was stuck in before. Number four Privet Drive had never seemed quite so horrible.

"As you may or may not have gleaned, this was my home." The disclosure startled Harry, who had been sure he was to spend his time in his new surroundings completely clueless.

"This doesn't look like Surrey." He braved, stepping up onto the porch.

"Shortly after my birth my parents were forced to vacate their home in Surrey." Severus' voice was soft, almost gentle, with a tinge of reluctance. Harry waited for him to elaborate but it seemed the other had said what he meant to say. He wished he felt confident enough to push Severus for more information but he was tired, still a bit frightened and frankly he just wanted to be back at Hogwarts.

The door creaked open loudly, a sound that seemed to unsettle both of them. The house was covered in dust. That was the first thing Harry noticed. Some, but not all, of the furniture was draped in white sheets. Cobwebs hung from corner to corner.

Severus sneered at the room. "Just as I remember it. Of course." He let out a barking laugh that was so filled with bitterness it made Harry's heart wrench in sympathy. Both of them had so many unhappy memories associated with their homes, it made him sad just to think of it. His partner's eyes were far away, no doubt in a time long past.

Harry explored the adjoining rooms quietly. Each one was just as dead looking as the last, like no one had been there in decades, unclean, unvisited, unlived in. The cupboards were empty in the kitchen, the benches layered in grime that was probably older than Snape. As he walked past the still man once again a creeping feeling in his stomach told him that the other man had screwed up. Maybe seriously. This wasn't meant to happen. He bit his lip and reminded himself that Severus was an intelligent man, a Potions Master. He would find a way out of here. And, Harry noted, if this was his psyche, the man wasn't nearly as messed up as himself.

A movement out of the corner of his eye made him jump a little. His heart stopped pounding when he realised it was just a cockroach. A big cockroach. He grimaced a little, scanning the floor for its cousins. Scratch that, Severus was a little screwed up. He hoped no other large-scale bugs appeared, because while he had experience with giant spiders, massive cockroaches didn't sound like fun.

"Can't you just do what you did at Privet Drive?" He asked hesitantly, standing in the doorway to the entrance hall where Severus still stood.

The other man jumped, only fractionally but enough for Harry to spot it. He winced, he hadn't meant to startle Severus. The fact that the man was nervy set Harry on edge, he didn't need to add angry to that.

The scowl directed in his direction was only at half-strength, however, and his heart certainly didn't seem in it. "What I 'did' in that place took months of research, hardly a simple action to be taken lightly."

"Months?" Harry whispered. "It's been months?"

"It has been long enough." The other man acceded, seemingly reluctant to divulge more.

"But months? I don't understand."

"Neither did Poppy. Or Albus for that matter." The Headmaster not knowing something? That surprised Harry, though he was aware the Headmaster wasn't omniscient, there was a mystery surrounding the extent of the old man's knowledge. What the man knew was irrelevant right then, Harry just wanted to know what Severus knew, he was sick of the silence.

"Why did it take so long?"

"You were in a magical coma. It's a not a regularity, hence Poppy has not the experience to deal with it." Oh, that helped, Harry rolled his eyes inwardly. It helped if he knew what a magical coma was.

"I've been in a coma for months?"

"That is what I inferred, yes." The man answered, still preoccupied by the house.

"And we're stuck here?"

"I would say that is a fair assessment." Severus sounded disgusted with the whole idea and Harry didn't blame him. This was a very unpleasant place with obviously unpleasant associations for him. At least, Harry noted with relief, the sky seemed quite normal.

"Well we might as well make the best of it then. Think of it as a holiday." He suggested with a forced cheerfulness.

"If you haven't noticed, Potter, you're seriously ill and I appear to have trapped the both of us in my mind."

Harry thought this was a rather astute observation and he had in fact noticed. However, he was away from that horrible place and anywhere was better than there. Anyway, this was a bit of a golden opportunity. Severus was so clammed up about his past and how he felt, his psyche was the perfect way to get a better idea of who the man really was.

"How did this happen? And what's a magical coma?" This place was astoundingly real. Unlike the Dursley's there was nothing seriously wrong to suggest it was all a dream. The air was stale as he drew it into his lungs, it tasted old, musty. He could feel that he was cold. The grit on the bench tops felt sticky and grainy and his foots left prints in the dust as he disturbed the seemingly abandoned home. If Severus hadn't told him that it was an illusion, he would have accepted it as reality without 

a doubt. Well, besides the oddities that popped up every now and again. He shuddered at the memory of the cockroach. Spiders he could deal with, mutant cockroaches, not so much.

"A magical coma is a self-induced reaction -"

"I did this to myself?"

"Not precisely," Severus' voice was tight, obviously disgruntled by the interruption. "It is the reaction of the magical core of a witch or wizard to a perceived threat. It was most likely brought on by your prolonged exposure to the cruciatus curse. It protects the mind from further stress by putting it into hibernation. Your body lives on in the absence of your mind. It is a preventative measure against the rather negative outcomes of the curse in the long-term."

"The Longbottoms." Harry murmured.

"Precisely."

"What about Privet Drive? It doesn't look like that, you know, in real life." He awkwardly assured the man.

"A mindscape. An intricate world your mind creates. It takes unconscious perceptions of places and things and fashions a virtual world. Your particular world was wrought with bad impressions of your relatives' home, thus the exaggerated features of the place."

Harry flushed at what Snape must have thought of the Dursleys now. The place had reeked of his own terror and loathing of the house, not to mention the people in it. There were some things he would rather keep to himself and Privet Drive was one of them. Despite Dumbledore's attempts to make the two of them communicate, Harry knew that there were parts of himself that were his and his alone. No matter the 'bond' between them, some things were just private.

Ron held vigil in the Hospital Wing alone. Usually either Hermione, Draco, or both were there to keep him company. A few adults were also regular visitors, Draco's parents, Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Remus and Sirius, the list went on. But Hermione was having dinner with the Malfoys and everyone else seemed busy with a new theory on waking the pair. A new theory that would probably be about as successful as all the other ones. It was getting dark outside, the crescent moon not lending much light to the room. Ron stifled a yawn, stretching.

He had spent much of his time alone in the past few weeks. Indeed, the past few months. Hermione and Draco had been busy together, while they tried to include him, it was a new relationship and Ron acknowledged that reluctantly. Harry had been occupied with Snape and You-Know-Who causing trouble even before the incident.

So Ron watched over his best friend and Snape every evening. He slouched deep into the chair, remembering how he had snapped at Harry before he'd been kidnapped by Lestrange. He'd been so confused and angry and frustrated. He hadn't stopped to think that maybe Harry would understand. March had come and gone. He'd barely blinked and he was seventeen. The year had gone so fast and exams were on the near horizon. Ron couldn't bring himself to worry about them. All his sitting around (feeling completely useless) and worrying about Harry had left him plenty of time to study. It was the most prepared for exams he'd felt in a long time.

(-)

"I think I'd like to come here, you know.. after." Harry felt brave enough to say. "Just to see it for real."

"Impossible."

He frowned. "Just for-"

"It no longer exists. I burnt it down when I turned nineteen." The haunted look in Severus' eyes made him not want to ask more. He couldn't imagine Snape as a teenage arsonist.

"Don't you get in trouble for that sort of thing?" He asked, wondering if this was yet another part of his so-called 'dark past'.

A raised eyebrow made him feel silly. "Besides, I wouldn't take you here even if it were still standing."

Harry felt a bit hurt at that and slouched against the door frame. "I didn't-"

"This place is cursed, Potter, I would go as far as to say it is quite unsafe."

"I didn't think it was that bad, I mean it's just dirt."

The eyebrow graduated to a glower that made Harry feel even more silly. "Not cursed, _cursed._" Reluctant though it was, Severus' stance seemed to relax, like he'd had all the air sucked out of him and was now collapsing in on himself._ "_After my mother's death, my father was mad with grief. He cursed the entire town so that nothing would grow or prosper. The ground shriveled up, the river that runs behind this house ran dry, the farmland became unusable. He singlehandedly drove the muggle town to the ground. Everyone moved on. They couldn't understand what had happened, how could they? My father didn't care that he had destroyed the homes of so many muggles, he hated them anyway, thought of them as animals and barbarians. The only reason we lived among them was because my mother was ill and the Healer had advised she be in a quiet environment. I always found it ironic that it was most quiet after she died. I lived here several years following that and then ran away. My father got his wish a year later when I had foolishly joined the ranks of Voldemort but it was much too late for him to see it fulfilled. Far too late. "

Harry put a hand on his forearm and the man looked at him, startled. This place made him so edgy, Harry regretted ever thinking it was better than Privet Drive. It was worse in a much more subtle way. It was Severus' undoing.

It was a split second decision but with his arms around Severus, head tucked into the crook of the other mans neck, he felt relaxed. To his surprise Severus held him, arms lightly but surely resting on his back. He shivered as he felt a shuddering breath on his shoulder.

"We have to get out of here, but I think you should sit down for a while." Harry said, his voice muffled by material. Letting go was difficult because even though he'd slept with the other man before, this felt so terribly intimate and being in this world made him feel like he was seeing a very vulnerable part of the man. He quickly quashed the increasing worry he had about getting back. 

With Severus so perturbed, Harry wondered if he would be able to figure out a solution or whether they'd be stuck here. Harry really didn't want to wait around to find out there were worse things than gigantic insects.

(-)

It didn't take long to discover there were. For one, the taps were dry. The cupboards contained only a few non-perishable items. Snape professed that he wasn't sure how well his magic would work here and even if it did, he professed, the curse would most certainly send it haywire. Harry had been confused as to why, if this was just a figment of Severus' imagination, he couldn't just.. un-imagine… it. Severus had scoffed at the suggestion and promptly explained that one could rarely control what one imagined and that a mindscape was far more complicated than that anyhow. Harry had just screwed up his nose at the man and stepped on a cockroach firmly.

Adventuring out in the town proved to just lower Harry's spirits. Severus had been right, the entire town just failed to grow anything. Bereft of grass or even dampness, the ground felt hard beneath his feet as he walked the same route for the ninth time. They had just undergone two days without water and little food. Harry had always thought he understood 'thirsty' and 'hungry', after all, the Dursleys had taught him well about unfulfilled appetite. But after a couple of days the words took on whole different dimensions. Thirsty became not only parched but also frustrated, tired, and sore.

Severus had snapped out of his nostalgia but he was just as hungry as Harry. Plus everything about the house seemed to irritate him. He scowled at the front door, he frowned at the kitchen, he positively glowered at the back room. Harry had tried to get him to explore elsewhere in the town but that hadn't worked either. T he fact of the matter was, Snape hated this town with a passion.

It began to feel like they had been trapped there forever. In a limbo of not alive, not dead. Two days without food or water grew to an incalculable time, the mindscape willing to let them suffer but not die, it seemed. He really needed to ask Severus how the magical mindscape worked but when his stomach started to ache Harry changed his mind. Less complicated things became the focus of his mind. And Snape had suddenly become a whole lot less complicated to Harry.

Surprisingly, the man seemed more willing than ever to just sit and hold him. Harry would sprawl out over Severus on the couch as the other muttered to himself about spell dissonance. He could feel Severus' arm heavy on his shoulders when he was next to him. Harry wondered if maybe it was a fear that he would somehow disappear. He couldn't decide whether it was because Severus was afraid for Harry or just afraid Harry would leave him there alone. He felt perversely pleased because he really felt like Severus really _needed_ him.

His stomach rumbled for the fourth time that hour. He felt Snape shift uncomfortably. A glare in his direction made him roll his eyes. Severus had become increasingly irritable and Harry got the idea that the man was sure it had something to do with 'spell dissonance' but couldn't factor it into a solution.

Harry decided he was sick of all the muttering and the glaring. Whatever Severus was confused about, he had obviously hit a wall and Harry had no intention of letting that wall stop them. There was something that he'd been thinking about for a while now and it seemed like the perfect time to 

bring it up. He leant back onto Severus' chest, head tilted. "I want to have sex," he murmured. "Right now."

Severus' whole body jolted, the minor tremble making Harry smile. They'd fooled around there before, Harry had always instigated it, Severus was far too tense to start anything. "I had wanted your first-"

"We're stuck in some wacky world in your imagination, trust me, it doesn't count."

Severus' thumb traced a circle on Harry's hip. "It would count to me." He said in Harry's ear, his breath warm on Harry's skin. Harry smiled, tired and hungry but his body waking up to the stimuli.

"Exactly." Harry ground his hips back against Severus' and the choked moan made him laugh.

"When precisely, did you become so forward, Mr. Potter?" Severus' hands taking charge made his whole body sag with relief. Harry had been waiting for this so long. Worrying about it since the beginning. Now it was finally happening, it felt natural and unforced.

He groaned. "Don't call me Mr. Potter, remember?" There was no response as Severus mapped his stomach, which rippled under the man's touch, his hip caressed as he kissed Severus softly. Open mouthed, slow kisses which made Harry's heart pound a mile a minute. Just as he thought it might thud out of his chest, Severus explored the waistband of Harry's pants, just barely slipping beneath.

Harry rested one hand on the nape of Severus' neck, fingers tangled slightly in his hair. The other gripped his upper arm hard. Severus' fingers finally reached the place Harry had been waiting for. He arched his back with a gasp as the other man showed him exactly what life was lived for.

Soon Harry was drowning in pleasure and a little bit of pain as Severus entered him. Somehow, Harry thought, no matter that it was imaginary, this definitely counted.

(-)

The next day was a slow one. The non-perishable food had run out several days before and Harry was beginning to wish this place would just let them die. It was like they were both starving to death excruciatingly slow. Severus had explained to him that while the mindscape would react to the unconscious of its magical base to the extent that they would believe they were starving, it's primary purpose was to protect them and thus it could not kill them. Harry silently questioned how much of Severus' childhood was spent starving.

"May I kiss you?" Harry asked as he was languidly spread out on the couch.

Severus' black eyes met his, strangely tender. It seemed that the longer they were here, the more Severus had let go of obsessing over the solution. Harry began to wonder if he wanted one. "You hardly need to ask." He replied, cupping Harry's cheek and kissing him deeply.

There was a deafening pop that was accompanied by a feeling like someone had ripped a hole in existence. They both turned to face brightly twinkling eyes.

"I rather think I've interrupted something." Albus Dumbledore said, looking absurdly pleased with himself.

(-)

End of Chapter 19

A/N: Sorry for the horribly long wait, my life got really hard all of a sudden. And if this chapter seems odd, I thought so too. I was particularly startled with the sex scene turning up (I know I scuppered that, sorry) in this chapter. I had always imagined it in this chapter in the back of my mind but never actually intended to put it there. But seeing as no one can know what will happen in the future, I thought I'd better give it to any people still loyally reading just so it's there. I hope you don't find the chapter too alienating, and that you enjoy it. Please review as it will help me soldier on with this.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** I'm not fully satisfied with this chapter but it is going in the right direction plot-wise so... please forgive it if you aren't happy. Also: beginning sentence fragments with a conjunction is not a grammatical error in this case, I do it for effect (yes, readers have called me up on this before – and if you don't like the effect I don't care). PLEASE enjoy this, if I get positive feedback I will continue to write along these lines, hopefully pumping out longer chapters if I can unclog my blocked writing neurons. PS. I do believe Harry's behaviour has precedent in the books (just in case).

Brief Synopsis: Harry and Snape reluctantly get closer until Harry kidnapped and brought to Voldemort by Bellatrix. Tortured/saved and in magical exhaustion (eg. plot device) ends up in a coma from which he can only be saved by gallavanting around in a magical mind world with Snape where life sucks but their relationship is strangely improved. Now they've been whisked away from this magical world, what will happen to their relationship?

* * *

Stubborn: Firmly resolved or determined; resolute.

**9 days after April 15****th**** (April 24****th**** 1997)**

When Harry woke he was alone. The sun shone brightly into the room, enough to make him turn away and shade his eyes. He hadn't expected the bed to be so cold on the other side. It was as if he had slept alone the whole night. It wasn't until a moment later that he realised where and when he was. This wasn't his fantasy world any more, a safe place for both him and Severus, despite the hidden horrors that world harboured. This was reality and it was cold and apparently lonely. It was Hogwarts, the sun from the dungeon window was manufactured, and he was in Severus' quarters, in Severus' bed. And if Severus wasn't sleeping there, it meant he was avoiding Harry... again...

The week since he had woken had been hard. Every day in the Hospital Wing had been a battle, trying to convince Madam Pomfrey he was fine, after all, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him physically. But Severus didn't visit, he saw Harry a total of two times in the nine days since he'd opened his eyes and groggily taken in the whitewashed surroundings to see Dumbledore. Dumbledore grinning like he'd just consumed twenty lemon sherbets and was suffering from a record sugar high. If only he knew what he'd interrupted, spoiled, ruined, broken – Harry could find a million perfect verbs that could accurately describe what the Headmaster had done.

That mind world, or whatever Severus had called it, was a world where everything was sorted. Severus could be his Hero, waltzing into the Dursley's and freeing him from that hellhole, to take him somewhere where they could be close, where this could be real. Instead, Harry was rudely 'saved' by Dumbledore and brought back to a reality where Severus was Snape again, only rather than call him a hopeless dunderhead, he avoided Harry like the plague. Ron and Hermione told him that he was wrong, that the man had fought desperately to bring him back from the coma. None of that mattered if he couldn't be bothered being civil to Harry once he was lucid.

It was made ten times worse by what they had shared. It was one thing to never have had the intimacy, it was quite another to have it snatched away just when Harry hoped he might be happy. And it was all haunted by Bellatrix Lestrange. Now Harry had to actually sleep, attend classes (finally) and follow a routine that didn't exist in that other world, he also had to face all that had happened. He had nightmares, constant and unceasing dreams about pain and terror. He was ashamed of how he had whimpered and even begged at times to Lestrange. How she had tucked a finger down his pants and crooned "Oh how little Harry Potter has grown up" into his ear, her breath hot against his neck. She'd whispered a burning spell he didn't recognise. The scars still remained, un-healable by magic. They danced across his right side, dipping to his hip and upper thigh. They were red and inflamed even now.

He was released from the Hospital Wing three days after waking up, Pomfrey concluding that there was nothing wrong with him and that he had done his physical healing while sleeping. Harry had lived down in Snape's quarters the following six days. The dungeons seemed twice as scary without the older man. He spared a moment to wonder where Snape was sleeping, if not here, but couldn't bring himself to care about the man's sleeping arrangements. Why should he?

Worse yet, he was pathetically behind in anything school related. He had missed a fair number of days with the whole bonding fiasco and then he was whisked away by his night stalker, Lestrange, killing another month in the process. Having missed some of April and all of March, he threw himself angrily into his studies. Hermione seemed to appreciate his enthusiasm with a little confusion and Malfoy tagged along so Harry could unsuccessfully try to ignore him trying to molest his girlfriend. Then there was Ron, who had become painfully serious in his absence, who didn't need to study because he was already ahead and prepared for exams. He just played chess with his unfortunate challengers in the Common Room, joining his friends in the library only when his opponent's egos forced them to turn him down for a game.

Six days had been enough to convince Harry that Snape wasn't just busy, but actively shutting him out. Potions was a waking nightmare in itself, Harry quickly deciding that if Snape didn't want to talk to him, neither did he want any contact with the professor. So Potions classes were spent with his head down, coming as late as he could without calling attention to himself and making sure he was first out the door. Limited contact and a limited possible damage zone.

"What about what Dumbledore said, before this all happened? You know, about what you and Snape had to do." Ron asked him, shutting Harry's book for him. He gave Ron an exacerbated glare and reopened the book to search for the right page. He was still two chapters behind, didn't Ron realise that?

Harry shrugged. "It's all null and void now, isn't it? Voldemort's already made his move, there's no point. Besides, it's obvious Snape isn't interested."

"If it means anything mate, I'm sorry he's acting like such an ass." Ron offered, sounding sincere but watching something over Harry's shoulder. He didn't bother turning around, he knew it was Hermione and Malfoy doing something they shouldn't in a library.

"It's probably for the best, I can see things more clearly now we're apart." Like that it would never work out, he thought darkly, he might as well top himself now. "Ron, are you jealous of them?"

"Huh?" His friend was startled out of his preoccupation with the couple.

"Hermione and Malfoy. Do you like her?"

"What? No. Not anymore, anyway." Ron sat, his face twisted in what Harry thought was indecision. "It's just – well, you've been busy with Snape and Voldemort and everything, and Hermione has Malfoy now. It's stupid but I feel a bit, well, alone. And it's not your fault, really, I do have other friends. Is it horrible to wish my best friends were single again?" He winced.

"No, it's not. If it helps, for all intents and purposes, I am single."

**16 days after April 15****th**** (1****st**** May 1997)**

On the sixteenth day he encountered Snape, colliding accidently after classes in the hallway. The area had, as if by magic, been vacated just a millisecond after the collision. Harry briefly thought of simply picking up his things and leaving without a word. He had just decided it was the way to go when Snape broke the silence.

"Harry, I think we need to-"

"Talk?" He interrupted nastily before Snape could finish. "Hardly. I don't think words are required. You're not man enough to fuck me in real life, I get it. Can't get it up, understandable for a wizard your age."

"A wizard my age?" Snape said incredulously, eyes dark with anger. "How dare you?"

"Limited contact, limited damage." He recited. "I think that's what we need right now. I have potions three times a week, that will do." In a imitation of Malfoy, he smirked, hoping it came out right. Harry had gathered his things by this time and brushed past the still stunned professor. It was time he stopped playing by these people's rules. He wasn't going to let himself be hurt anymore, not by Lestrange, not by Snape.

He went to Sirius and Professor Lupin's chambers before dinner. Sirius looked glad to see him, grinning widely as he let him in. He'd agreed to knock and wait after walking in on a scene four days ago that was now burned into his retinas for all eternity. They sat on the couch in front of the fire as Lupin marked DADA essays at his desk.

"Hey, Sirius, I just wanted to apologise for how I've treated you over the past few months. I've been ungrateful and I'm really sorry." He finally broached a topic he'd been worried about for a few days now.

"Whoa, what brought this on? What's past is past, and I'm to understand that the bonding period is an emotional rollercoaster. Trust me, I know." He winked at Harry, who was just confused.

"Really? Because I understand you were just trying to protect me from Snape, I just didn't understand why at the time, but I do now. Wait, what do you mean, I know?"

"Remus and I, well..." He tailed off suggestively.

"You're-? Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. We didn't do anything about it until after, Azkaban, thank Merlin. That could have been a disaster. But yes, we're lifebonded. Soulmates, whatever you call it these days. Remus tactfully reminded me that you'd be confused and you'd need our support. So here I am, supporting you."

The bombshell really took the wind from Harry's sail and he felt a bit deflated. "You never told me."

"We-" Sirius quickly glanced up at Remus in a way that made Harry think it wasn't their idea at all. "-thought it best to wait until the worst was over. No fear, Harry, now I am an open book on the ins and outs of lifelong relationships."

"Well, you can stay closed. I'm not going to need advice on that at all." Harry frowned as Sirius' face formed an expression half-way between dismayed and quizzical. "You were right about Snape, we're not going to work."

"What? I don't think it works that way, Harry. Is this-"

"It's going to work whatever way I tell it to. I'm not going to have a relationship with that man. I'll stay near him if I have to, but I'm living my own life, regardless of the stupid soul bond."

There was a silence in the room and Remus had looked up from his desk to exchange a worried look with his partner.

"Anyway," Harry broke the awkward silence and changed the topic. "Professor Lupin told me you're good at Transfiguration and I desperately need help."

* * *

"Something's wrong with Harry." Sirius confided in Remus after dinner in their rooms. "Very wrong."

"You don't need to tell me that, I was there. He has been different since he woke up, but I didn't anticipate this. Where is it coming from?" Remus mused, his brow scrunched in a way that made him look angry rather than pensive, Sirius thought.

"Hermione told me Snape hadn't seen Harry since it happened. I thought maybe she was exaggerating, told her they lived together, it was private. Moony, what if Snape hurt him?" Sirius held his head in his hands, torn between running down to set Snape straight and letting Remus work it out with him, the way they normally worked things out.

"I doubt he could, not physically. They could have had an argument. Harry has changed, you know. His experiences with Lestrange and Voldemort, we can hardly expect them not to change him. He isn't an innocent little thirteen year old. We knew that when Dumbledore asked me back to teach. You knew it when you came to spend more time getting to know him. That was the deal you made in February, you stay in these rooms, you get away from Grimmauld Place. You already broke it once going down to wage some war against Snape. You have this chance to be here for Harry. Don't go off half-cocked to beat Snape to a pulp when we don't even know what's happened. Harry needs you here. I need you here."

"I know. I just can't get why these things have to happen to Harry. He's like a magnet for bad luck. Why can't he have a bond with someone like the one you and me have? It's not fair." He felt useless, whining about how it wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair, Azkaban had taught him that in the very least.

"You and me, we're polar opposites, Sirius, we complete one another, balance each other out. Harry and Snape, they're the same. Bad pasts, stubborn, pig-headed and they hold grudges. I guarantee you Snape is running scared. From what, I can't tell. But now he's got Harry reacting by running in the opposite direction." Remus watched as Sirius ran his hands through his hair and leaned back. The light outside waned and on the edge of the boundaries of the Forbidden Forest, he could barely make out two birds of prey fighting over food. "They're going to meet at some point and all that stubborn tension that's been bottled since the beginning is going to be destructive."

"I just don't want Harry to get hurt. I'm meant to be looking after him." Sirius was the boy's godfather, his father in James' place. He only wished his best friend were there, James would know what to do. After he'd killed Snivellus, that was.

"Which is why you have to look after him from here, you'll be no good if you're spotted by some poor second year. Dumbledore can't protect you forever. Just like you can't protect Harry forever, he's got to make his own mistakes. Even the big ones."

* * *

Harry studied Charms and Transfiguration for two hours and then destroyed Snape's couches before bed. Obliterated them with his bare hands. He ripped out the stitching, destroyed the cushions, pulled out the padding and twisted the springs maliciously. It made a horrible mess of fluff and fabric. The dull satisfaction that Snape would find out one day was only slightly overwhelmed by the fact that these were essentially his rooms too and now he had no couches. That they were _Snape's_ couches was what mattered. He went to bed physically exhausted and mildly sated. It didn't stop the nightmares.

"_Little Harry, precious thing, show me what a big boy you are." Lestrange cut his chest, eliciting a breathless gasp of pain from him. _

"_Now scream." She demanded as she cast yet another _Crucio_, leaving him writhing and hardly able to make a noise, much less scream. He had been screaming too long, he had no air left in his lungs and they burned. He couldn't breathe._

He woke sweating and with the urgent need to escape. The sheets were tangled around him in a chokehold. Alone. Again.

He started the day with a tantrum in which he destroyed several pieces of landscape art, finding himself unable to destroy portraits. They spoke after all, which was a bit too alive for Harry. They did look on with bewilderment though, as Snape's things were ripped to pieces. Harry coldly examined the destruction before breakfast. He needed to stop this, it just proved that Snape had control over him.

He walked to breakfast amongst curious Slytherins. The dungeons were too full of them to be pleasant. Apparently the gossip mill had him placed down there in secret rooms for protection. How any reasonable person could believe that he would be more protected right next to the Slytherin lair was beyond him. That they didn't already know about him and Snape was also incredible, it turned out that Hogwarts could keep a secret after all. However, with Snape's behaviour of late, one could be fooled into thinking it was last year, Harry thought bitterly. But then, nothing had ever changed. That world was an exception, Harry knew that now. Whatever progress they had made before was coerced and then ruined by becoming too close, too fast.

"What are you looking at?" He growled at a small, staring Slytherin.

She squeaked, glared and hurried away. Malfoy chose that moment to catch up with him. "Taunting first years, Potter? Didn't think it was your style."

"Yeah, well, you don't know me."

"Someone's in a bad mood." The thing was, they were so close to friendly now, it was hard to be venomous when talking to the other boy. Harry sighed and shifted his book bag to the other shoulder.

"Maybe it's better than being falsely optimistic." He said through gritted teeth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Malfoy asked.

Harry was saved from having to respond by Hermione, who took her boyfriend by the arm. She muttered something about a book, Harry rather thought that talking about studying was like whispering sweet nothings for the two of them. They deserved each other. He never thought Malfoy an academic until he saw him turn down some between-aisle library trysting with Hermione for more Charms study with her. That kind of attitude puzzled him. He thought they must talk each other to orgasm using nine syllable words from the Oxford dictionary.

He scowled at the topic. Now that he'd had sex (well, some form of warped mind-sex, he still couldn't wrap his head around it), he couldn't stop thinking about it. It somehow infiltrated every bit of conversation, insinuated itself into every innuendo, and invaded every thought. As a sixteen, almost seventeen, year old boy he hadn't thought he could become more obsessed with sex. Until now.

The meal was uncomfortable. People still thought him a bit mental for everything that had happened before Lestrange took him and there were terrible rumours about what had happened to him during the raid so that he couldn't return to school for many weeks afterward. Some of them were even true. He sat with Ron, Hermione and Neville at the end of the Gryffindor table. The end that put the most distance between him and the High Table. Harry did not want to put himself anywhere near Dumbledore, who would no doubt encourage him to make up with Snape, like it was his fault in the first place, Snape, who Harry knew was glaring, and Lupin, who had been shooting concerned glances his way all morning.

The sky shone bright in the imitation sky above the Great Hall. Harry was determined to hold practice as Captain that evening. There was one game left of Quidditch before the years end and as Captain, a role he'd been forced to neglect for some time, thankfully only _between_ their Hufflepuff and Slytherin games. Ginny had been playing in as Seeker in the meantime and Katie Bell had acted as Captain, organising practices and so forth. Harry thought it was time he dug his heels in. He would not give up Quidditch, not for Dumbledore, not for Snape and especially not for Voldemort. On that, he would take a stand. Now, all he had to do was rethink strategy for the upcoming game against Slytherin. Hufflepuff had just played Ravenclaw, having accumulated enough points to win if Gryffindor lost the upcoming match. Wayne Hopkins was on his game as captain this year and Harry had been absent for too long. With Hufflepuff and Slytherin both serious contenders, he had better be on his toes. Harry refused to give up the cup his first year as Captain.

Snape stalked out early, interrupting Harry's thoughts and forcing him to reluctantly look up and check that the man was really gone. It felt like his whole body breathed a sigh of relief now he was out of Snape's presence. Harry sidled out of his chair to speak to Katie Bell. He'd need her help with this. On the way he told Coote and Peakes about the time of the practice. They both groaned but said they were glad he was back.

"Hey Harry," Katie greeted him brightly. "Back in the saddle yet?"

"I'm fine, thanks." He blushed, at least she was pleased he was back. He'd been worried she'd be upset to give the team up. "Do you have the pitch booked for tonight?"

"I booked it when I heard you were coming back as Captain." She confirmed. Harry briefly wondered how she had heard that. Probably through Ron, he had been talking to him about captaining the team again.

"Great, can you add another two hours. I have some tactics I want to try with the Beaters." Coote and Peake were inexperienced, true, but they had been best friends since they were six and made a phenomenal team. Almost as good as Fred and George really.

She laughed. "You're as bad as Wood, Harry, he'd be proud."

Harry nodded, thanked her and left her to her friends. When he told Ron about the practice times the boy complained bitterly about two essays he had due the next day (which Hermione said served him right for leaving them to the last second) but admitted he needed the extra practice. Harry thought it funny that Ron was fully prepared for exams but still too lazy to write his essays.

"I've been rubbish." Ron moaned to him. "Haven't caught a thing in practice since the last game."

"You've been distracted." Harry reassured the redhead. "We understand."

He'd be better though, Harry promised to himself, the whole team would. Neither Hufflepuff nor Slytherin would get the cup this year. Especially not Slytherin. And if that put Snape out, all the better.

* * *

It rained. Harry made them practice anyway, told the team it would be good for their endurance. Bell muttered something about how it would be good for catching pneumonia, which Harry ignored gracefully. He cast an anti-fog spell on his glasses after he missed the snitch five times in a drill. Ron looked like a drowned rat guarding the goals as all three chasers bombarded him. Harry ran through technique with the beaters, who looked equally miserable. They were both pretty sturdy guys but Coote was left-handed, which caused a number of completely unnecessary problems.

After finding out that Peakes had trouble telling left from right and yelling at Coote for coming at the bludger from the wrong direction (consequently missing completely), Harry flew a lap to calm down and told the other two to do the same. He saw Hermione and Professor Lupin sitting in the stands watching the practice under an umbrella spell. He waved and they both smiled.

"Hey, why can't they cast a big umbrella over the pitch?" Ron yelled out to him, capturing the attention of the entire team.

"There won't be an umbrella spell during the game, will there?" He replied. The players all groaned at him and reluctantly returned to their drills.

Having cooled off, he turned to the beaters. They both looked at him darkly, but paid attention nonetheless when he explained how he wanted them to work. First swapping the side Coote was coming from, which straightened up his aim, he used his wand to write the letters R and L on Peakes' hands. He looked confused and embarrassed. Harry held one up, "R for right," and the other, "L for left. " He dropped the hands. "They're going to stay there until it comes naturally."

The expression on Peakes' face was classic and he wondered why the boy's parents hadn't sorted this out earlier. Never mind, the marks would stay there until Harry removed them. This wouldn't get in the way of the game.

"Now, I want both of you to go for the keeper in the game." They both immediately spoke up but he held up a hand. "Their chasers are average," They were also huge, he added to himself silently. "Bletchley is good, he's really good. So for the first half, aim to disable the keeper. If he's dodging you, he won't be able to catch the quaffle. I've got the chasers working on Crabbe and Goyle. They're all faster than the two of them and the Falcons used that in their last four games. Now for the second half..." The practice went on.

When they all eventually retreated into the warmth of the changing rooms, the team was too exhausted to resent him. Harry felt about the same, which was exactly how he wanted it. They were all soaked through and felt beaten up by the pouring rain. No wonder the extra two hours had been free on the pitch, someone must have known the forecast. Nevermind, all the better for his team. In fact, it was giving him some choice ideas for next year's games.

Snape's chambers were still empty when he arrived back, slightly damp but warm. He was dismayed to see that the house elves had cleaned the mess up. They had left the ruined couch, but the room had been tidied. He snapped his fingers twice as he had been taught. An elf appeared, looking eager to please.

"What's your name?" He asked the creature.

"I is Quincy, sir."

"Okay, Quincy, the mess that was in here before, I want it back."

"Yous are wanting it back?" The creature confirmed uncertainly.

"All of it." It eyed him like he was off his rocker but there was a faint crack and a neat pile of destroyed furniture stuffing and torn painting appeared. Harry frowned. "Like it was before."

"Are yous sure, sir? This be quite unusual."

"I'm very sure." When the room was returned to a state of havoc, he sent the elf away, thanking him. The whole process left him a bit empty though. It wasn't the same and he felt vaguely stupid and childish. He pushed the feelings away and knocked a vase over before going into his room, ignoring how petty (and hazardous to bare feet) it was.

He dreamt of Lestrange.


End file.
